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View Full Version : Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner


lamberts-lost-tooth
09-22-2006, 04:48 PM
Subject: IMPORTANT TEST: Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner

EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW FOR SURE



Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Here is a little test that

will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following

question:

------------------------------------------------

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small

children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around

the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,

raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock 9 mil,

and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you

and your family. What do you do?



.................................................. .................

Democrat's Answer:



Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of

his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does

this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound

me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while

he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this a happier,

healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a

few days and try to come to a consensus.

.................................................. ...............

Republican's Answer:



BANG!

.................................................. ................



Southerner's Answer:



BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips

or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!"

steelcurtain09
09-23-2006, 04:07 PM
woot!
im a republican

LambertIsGod58
09-23-2006, 06:54 PM
Definately a Republican...Especially when John Kerry is the alternative.

SteelCityMan786
09-23-2006, 07:19 PM
Tested Republican.

lamberts-lost-tooth
09-29-2006, 09:22 AM
OK Arkie....I KNOW you fall into the last category!!!!

Mosca
09-29-2006, 06:55 PM
LOL.

As an aside,

The Democrats led us into WW1; the Republicans were non-interventionists.
The Democrats led us into WW2; until the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the Republicans were isolationists.
The Democrats led the fight against communist expansion in Korea (under Truman).
The Democrats led the fight against communist expansion in Vietnam (under Kennedy and Johnson).
The Democrats led the international peace keeping forces in Bosnia.


Funny how they got the reputation of being soft, isn't it?

As a matter of fact, NONE of the Democratic presidents for the past 100 years have shown any reluctance to send troops into battle; even CARTER, ferchrissake, authorized the botched, half-assed attempt to rescue the hostages in Iran.

Republicans have given us:

The invented Spanish-American War
the Teapot Dome scandal and the runaway stock market of the 20s
Prohibition
the Great Depression
the Watergate scandal
WIN buttons (Ford and Whip Inflation Now; Carter inherited inflation, although he DID make it much worse)
the invasion of Grenada (as a high point)
and of course, our current debacle.

I know, I know. It was only a joke.

Oh; and during the Civil War, southerners were Democrats. As a matter of fact, southerners have been Democrats all the way up until recently, when there was a concerted effort by the far right (specifically the Gingrich Republicans of the '90s) to align Democrats with the far left instead of with the general populist/common man base that they have traditionally held. Nice trick.


Tom

floodcitygirl
09-29-2006, 09:01 PM
Nice way to turn a light hearted joke around. Most Dems I know would have laughed at it as well as Republicans and Southerners. :hunch:

Mosca
09-29-2006, 09:54 PM
Yeah, I know. I was feelin' a little rammy at the time, I did laugh at it first, though.


Tom

floodcitygirl
09-29-2006, 10:35 PM
Yeah, I know. I was feelin' a little rammy at the time, I did laugh at it first, though.


Tom"rammy"???? (lol)

Preacher
10-03-2006, 02:25 AM
I am just shocked at so many Republicans on this thread (yes, I know there are just a few people in this thread).

So much for my impression of Steel town Steel Union Pittsburgh (yes, I also know the mills are closed!)

Steeler in Carolina
01-05-2008, 07:49 PM
I guess I'm a Southern Republican.

pitt
01-06-2008, 11:35 AM
I tested Republican but I like the southern answer.

Borski
01-06-2008, 01:25 PM
Well if I happened to be carrying a gun I guess it would be the southern awnser...but i don't see myself carrying a gun so I'd probably just kick him in the balls and grab the knife and see what happens from there.

Godfather
01-06-2008, 10:43 PM
My inclination is to go with the Southern answer, except for one thing:

"What does the law say about this situation?"

There are probably places in this country where shooting in self defense would get you PMITA Prison.

GoFins11
01-07-2008, 03:23 PM
Well, ignoring the answers to that question. I am a registered Democrat