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memphissteelergirl
10-23-2006, 10:33 AM
Hey Y'all,

I figured after the heartbreaker yesterday we need a little smile....so if you have a really bad joke or pun, submit it to this thread..

I'll start...

Why do lobsters never share?

Because they're shellfish! Ba-dum-bump! :flap:

Mosca
10-23-2006, 05:52 PM
How did baby Hitler tie his shoes?




In little knotsies.

sumo
10-23-2006, 06:21 PM
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey - why the long face?"

polamalufan43
10-23-2006, 08:15 PM
Four football fans are standing on a cliff. One is a Steeler fan, one a Patriots fan, one a Browns fan, and one a Green Bay fan. They were trying to prove how loyal they were to their team.
The Patriots fan said "This is for my team!" and jumped off the cliff and died
The Green Bay fan did the same, and he also died.
The Steelers fan took a deep breath and screamed, "This is for the Steelers!"
And he pushed the Browns fan off the cliff.

Mamaduck43
10-23-2006, 10:27 PM
What's the difference between an elephant and a grape???


Grapes are purple!!!!



What did Tarzan say when he saw the herd of elephants?


Here come the grapes!!!!! (He was colorblind!!!!)

memphissteelergirl
10-24-2006, 10:23 AM
Nice work, guys! Keep it coming! :bouncy:


Here's another one...

Why is so hot in a football stadium after a game?

All the FANS have left!

lamberts-lost-tooth
10-25-2006, 11:00 AM
How many steps does it take to put a tiger in a refridgerator?

3...open the door...put in the tiger..close the door.

How many steps does it take to put an elephant in a refridgerator?

4....open the door...take out the tiger...put in the elephant...close the door.

lamberts-lost-tooth
10-25-2006, 11:09 AM
Three strings go into a bar and sit at a table.
The first string gets up the courage to go to the bar and order three drinks.
The bartender looks at the string and says "Sorry, we dont serve strings."
So the string goes back to the table and sits with his two friends. The second string takes a deep breath, goes up to the bar and says "I need three beers"
The bartender smirks and says "I just told your friend, we dont serve strings here," and the second string goes back to the table and sits down.
The third string thinks for a bit, goes to the bathroom, ties a bow in his middle and pulls the top of himself apart into tiny threads..and then the bottom apart into tiny threads. He leaves the bathroom..goes up to the bartender and orders three beers. The Bartender looks him up and down and asks..."Are you a string"...to which he answers.."No, I'm a fraid Knot"

lamberts-lost-tooth
10-25-2006, 11:27 AM
A mushroom goes into a bar and sits by a beautiful blonde. He looks her over and says "Can I buy you a drink?"
"I dont accept drinks from mushrooms" she says.
"Well, how about we find a table and talk?"..says the mushroom
"I dont sit with mushrooms" says the blonde.
"Well, how about your number and I will call you sometime?" the mushroom persists.
"Listen!" the female says "I dont talk to mushrooms...I dont sit with mushrooms..and I DONT go out with mushrooms!"
"Aw c'mon." begs the mushroom "Give me a chance, I'm a fungi"

lamberts-lost-tooth
10-25-2006, 11:30 AM
...and my nephews favorite.

What do you do when your kotex catches on fire?


Tampon it.

memphissteelergirl
10-25-2006, 11:34 AM
LLT....Great job!! :toofunny: :sofunny:

MACH1
10-25-2006, 01:52 PM
The Bengals are going to change their name next year to the Tampons.
Only good for one period and no second string to pull them out.

lamberts-lost-tooth
10-25-2006, 02:17 PM
A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

memphissteelergirl
10-26-2006, 10:55 AM
The Bengals are going to change their name next year to the Tampons.
Only good for one period and no second string to pull them out.


OHHH-Kay! :blush:

steelergirlrocks
10-28-2006, 07:23 PM
Four football fans are standing on a cliff. One is a Steeler fan, one a Patriots fan, one a Browns fan, and one a Green Bay fan. They were trying to prove how loyal they were to their team.
The Patriots fan said "This is for my team!" and jumped off the cliff and died
The Green Bay fan did the same, and he also died.
The Steelers fan took a deep breath and screamed, "This is for the Steelers!"
And he pushed the Browns fan off the cliff.


That made me laugh! :bouncy:

steelcurtain09
10-29-2006, 02:34 PM
Remember, this is the
"The Official 'Bad Jokes and Puns' Thread"
stop tellin good jokes

SteelCityMan786
10-29-2006, 02:36 PM
The Browns mascot will be the color brown for the stain they are.

steelcurtain09
10-29-2006, 05:51 PM
good job SCM
u have restored this thread to its proper title

5handgang
12-27-2006, 04:03 PM
What did the carpet say to the floor?

Don't worry, I got you covered.

How's that for a bad joke. What? You wany another one? Ok.

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet me at the corner.

Stu Pidasso
01-10-2007, 12:28 PM
Why did the perverted Ravens fan cross the road?




Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.