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View Full Version : Marvin Brings Down Iron Fist - LMAO!


HometownGal
01-03-2007, 06:03 PM
Riiiiiiiight. And pigs fly too. :toofunny: Hey Marv - save yourself some trouble. Have a courtroom complete with judge and jury built right in the lockerroom. Or an electric chair.

Fairly long read, but worth every laugh you'll get out of it! :sofunny:

http://www.bengals.com/news/news.asp?story_id=5823

Lewis brings down Iron Fist
By GEOFF HOBSON
January 2, 2007

In what will forever be known as his ?Hard Ass? Address, Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis plans to take a harder line in disciplining his team next season by taking away playing time instead of fine money.

At Tuesday?s final news conference of the season at Paul Brown Stadium, Lewis indicated his three coordinators are going to return and he has no plans for suspended middle linebacker Odell Thurman to join them.

While he called his own performance ?bad,? Lewis said his 30th-ranked defense has to find an identity and called the emergence of quarterback Carson Palmer as a leader despite his knee injury ?unparalleled.?

And, under withering criticism this past season for game management, Lewis said he?s not going to change his approach to taking timeouts.

But the media spent most of the session grilling him on his Iron Fist doctrine and his insistence that the dirty laundry list of off-field problems didn?t affect his team on the field.

After conducting end-of-season exit interviews with his players on Monday, Lewis concluded from ?an outcry from our guys,? he had to return to the firmer grip he had when he first grasped control of the team four years ago. He also apparently told the team that some players will be gone as he looks to keep turning over the roster with younger players.

?We need something; you can?t go around wasting talent,? said running back Rudi Johnson of the 'Hard Ass' proclamation. ?If you don?t do things the right way, it will end up eventually catching up with you and that?s what happened thus year.?

Wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh said the players only have themselves to thank because they gave Lewis the feedback he sought.


Houshmandzadeh
?When you have a season like we had, you have to do what you have to do,? Houshmandzadeh said. ?He talked to us all so I imagine more than one guy talked about those things and there was some kind of consensus. If guys get mad because guys are sitting on Sunday, don?t get mad. Just look back to today.?

Tuesday marked Lewis? first response to his players? criticism that a selfish streak had tainted defense of the team's AFC North title and led to this season?s underachieving 8-8.

?They long for that from me to be, I guess, the hard-ass all the time in certain areas,? Lewis said. ?So we'll make sure I give them what they want.

?There were some things I wouldn?t tolerate in the first year or so, and I became a little bit more tolerant of them this year. And I think there's an outcry from our guys to go back that way. I hear it and see it, so that's my challenge, to go back to that. We've tried to allow guys to grow and mature as men and mature as players. But the thing we continue to find is they've got to be constantly coached, policed and corrected, so that at times of adversity, we can do the right things.?

In the past, Lewis had disciplined players by putting them on the weekly inactive list. He has done it twice with wide receiver Chris Henry after brushes with the law and he did it with cornerback Deltha O?Neal before the Dec. 10 victory over Oakland following a DUI arrest. Now it looks to be policy and will cover the every day transgressions, such as tardiness.

?The (fines don?t) deter the problems. I've found that,? Lewis said. ?And so the only thing we're going to deter it with is play time. And that's a drastic step because that affects everybody in this building. But maybe it saves the other 52 guys. That's the next step. We've done it on occasion as you know. But that's got to be the way it goes. It's going to be unfortunate, but hopefully it saves everybody in the long run.?

Coaches and players have indicated that casual attitudes about meeting, treatment, and practice times have been a problem. Rudi Johnson, who missed two starts the last two seasons because of his habitual lateness, got and welcomed the message. He says he?ll set his watch 10 minutes ahead next season.

?Why not?? Johnson asked. ?One day it?s one guy, the next day it?s another. They won?t be able to use that on me any more. I?m looking forward to it. I?m going into my seventh year and I?m looking forward to doing everything better than the previous six years. I?m up for the challenge.?

"It carries over into Sunday," said Johnson of the inattention to detail.

And that was certainly on display in the last two games, when an illegal shift on offense cost the Bengals a 75-yard touchdown in Denver, two false starts inside the 4 cost them a touchdown against Pittsburgh, and missed tackles contributed to the Steelers' winning touchdown in overtime.

Houshmandzadeh, off his first 1,000-yard season, agreed that it has to be the same for the stars.

?You can?t let myself, you can?t let Carson, you can?t let Rudi, or Chad or Willie get away with something,? Houshmandzadeh said. ?Because the younger guys are going to see that and what?s going to happen??


Berryman
The Bengals? efforts to put the off-field issues behind them hit a snag on the second day of the offseason when one of the three street free agents they signed was former Iowa State linebacker Jason Berryman.

Berryman has served nearly 300 days in jail on assault and theft charges in 2004 and was then kicked off the Cyclones after the 2005 season for being cited on the premises of a club underage, which was listed as an alcohol offense. No arrest was made, according to an Iowa newspaper.

No one chose Berryman in last summer?s supplemental draft, when the Bengals chose former Virginia linebacker Ahmad Brooks with a third-round pick even though he had been kicked off the team for violating rules. That came after the April draft, when they selected USC defensive end Frostee Rucker in the third round and Florida State linebacker A.J. Nicholson in the fifth round despite legal entanglements.

In the wake of the eight arrests since Dec. 15, 2005, the club has and will get ripped for the Berryman move. On Tuesday, Lewis reiterated he didn?t think the off-field mess spilled onto the field.

?I don't think that had any effect at all on this team,? Lewis said. ?Chris Henry's offseason problems made him miss two ballgames for us, and his in-season problem had him miss another one. So for that, there are three games we miss without him. But other than that, I don't think anything that occurred in the offseason affected the football team.?

As for the selfishness theme his players pounded Sunday following the loss to the Steelers, Lewis admitted it?s part of the culture and he doesn?t think it?s different here than on any other NFL team.

?It's my job and our job to try to diminish it and make that secondary to winning as much as we can, just like the things you're talking about off the field,? Lewis said. ?They can't get in the way of winning. My tolerance level has got to be pretty, pretty, pretty, low right now.?

Lewis is also not very tolerant of what the defense is doing, but it appears that defensive coordinator Chuck Bresnahan, as well as offensive coordinator Bob Bratkowski and special teams coach Darrin Simmons are back because when asked if they are he said, ?They're under contract.?

?Defensively, I think the thing we really have to do is develop an identity," Lewis said. ?I think if you said, ?What?s a disappointment??, that?s a disappointment. We didn?t develop an identity. We had a good start at it, but we had a little blip in the middle and I don?t think we finished it off very well. I know we didn?t finish it off very well. That?s something that I?ve got to look hard at.?

Lewis wouldn?t get into scheme, or what his role would be, or if they?ll revisit the 3-4 conversion they mulled last offseason. But for a team without Pollack and Thurman and heavy on the defensive line, the 3-4 would seem to be out of the realm.

But some players could get moved. With cornerback Tory James not expected to return and cornerback Deltha O?Neal deep in Lewis? doghouse, free safety Madieu Williams is a player they?ve always said has corner skills.

?Odell is not a member of this football team; he's on suspension by the NFL,? said Lewis of the year-long substance abuse sentence compounded by a DUI. ?He's got a long road to go. I'm not going to spend any time talking about Odell. ? I don't see it on our horizon.?

Lewis defended his liberal use of timeouts, including using one to ice Steelers kicker Jeff Reed with 1:07 left in regulation Sunday. His theory is Palmer needs only one timeout and a minute to get a field goal, and he was proven right.

?It's my job that if we're going to have a bad play on offense or a bad play on defense, we're going to probably take a timeout,? Lewis said. ?If I get a chance to ice their kicker when he's kicking the tying field goal in our stadium, we'll ice him. And if he misses the field goal, the game's over.

?We can go the length of the field with one timeout. That's all I needed to have in my pocket. We practice that every week. We give them one timeout and Carson can take us the length of the field, particularly when we need a field goal. Had we needed to score a touchdown, maybe I would have kept the second timeout. Otherwise, I'm not worried about that. So if we use a timeout, it's important that we use it, otherwise we wouldn't do it. We don't play for the next play, we play for this play and the next play will take care of itself.?

SteelCityMan786
01-03-2007, 06:11 PM
Marvin, way to bring down the iron fist. Next time immediately cut your next convict. LOL.

Mosca
01-03-2007, 06:18 PM
"It's time for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is ME."

--Marvin Lewis

tony hipchest
01-03-2007, 06:26 PM
"It's time for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is ME."

--Marvin Lewis :chuckle: "mushmouth" lewis at it again.

what a retard. definitely one of the dullest tools in the coaching shed.

PisnNapalm
01-03-2007, 06:36 PM
IF he's serious then he will start by cutting the felons. The rest should fall into line after that.

stillers4me
01-03-2007, 06:50 PM
I give 'ole Marv one more year of backpedaling.......better spiff up that resume, buddy! Hey, that's an idea for one of our creative geniuses..........create a Marvin Lewis resume.......that should be interesting!

lamberts-lost-tooth
01-04-2007, 09:08 AM
I give 'ole Marv one more year of backpedaling.......better spiff up that resume, buddy! Hey, that's an idea for one of our creative geniuses..........create a Marvin Lewis resume.......that should be interesting!

I think Tony and I did that ....I will check :tap:

tony hipchest
01-04-2007, 09:44 AM
i couldnt find the resume you did LLT but i found this great post game interview transcript:

Marvin, after the win sunday odell thurman, who is already suspended for 4 games for violating the leagues substance abuse policy, was arrested for D.U.I. your thoughts?

Well, i feel much better about the situation now that ive seen we can win without him. I was really worried about that.

will there be any punishment?

Uhhhm. I am not a disciplinarian, so you will have to ask the league about that. I will let the league handle that.

are you concerned that chris henry was in the car with him?

Did you see his 2 td's against the steelers?

but marvin, he is on probation and was seen puking out the window.

Listen, i care for my players and dont want to see them in harms way. I advised him to quit drinking that Olde English 800, and to drink the good stuff like Colt 45

was henry stupid or selfish getting arrested for supplying alcohol to and sleeping with 2 underage girls?

Extrememly selfish. "It aint no fun, if the homies cant get none."

what did you say in regards to his possession of marijuana?

"I got 5 on it", and "puff, puff, give"

and his weapons charge?

Like i said before, i care for my players and i dont wanna see my players in harms way. thats on me. He will not be arrested again. I advised him to buy a silencer for his gat, that way if he has to bust a cap, it will not attract the police so quickly and he can make a clean get away. the bengals organization will not stand for this bad publicity. this is not what were about.

iron fist or iron lungs?

note: the above transcript was done entirely for satirical purposes. http://forums.steelersfever.com/showthread.php?t=11056&highlight=homies

HometownGal
01-04-2007, 10:00 AM
OMG that is hilarious!!!!!!! :toofunny: :toofunny: :toofunny:

Between Tony and LLT, I'm sure they'll come up with the perfect resume. :thumbsup:

lamberts-lost-tooth
01-04-2007, 11:55 AM
Found it..it was a take off of a post about an actual job application..I just tweeked it

NAME: Marvin Lewis

DESIRED POSITION: Top of the AFC North..but that position is taken

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus 10% of fines levied against the team.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Ask me tommorrow

SALARY: With the crooks I got on my team...you think Im gonna let people know I have money!!??

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens, post-it notes, and stereo equipment.

REASON FOR LEAVING: I thought I was told Cincy was the cradle of civilization...you ever noticed how much "cradle"..and "armpit" sound alike when your loaded?

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday..would rather not work Sundays thank you.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: I can call a QB a crybaby while sucking my thumb and stamping my foot WHILE keeping a straight face

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: You can..but Im not sure if he has stopped laughing yet.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Why should I have to be able to lift more than my lineman?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I did...but silly me...I let Chris Henry borrow it. ..and for the record...not my gun.

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes... and the Herm Edwards look-a-like contest

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only from my ears when awakened at 3a.m. to post bond.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Able to look at 2006 as the pinnacle of my career

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but honesty really hasnt been a high priority for hiring here..now has it?

stlrtruck
01-04-2007, 11:58 AM
I'm sorry but did he or the players say anything interesting? I read it and man I've never heard so much crap come out of an interview!

lamberts-lost-tooth
01-04-2007, 12:03 PM
...and the saga continues


Bengals add another bad boy in Berryman
Thursday, January 04, 2007

The Bengals signed former Iowa State defensive end Jason Berryman to two-year contract Tuesday -- he is one of 10 newcomers to the offseason roster.

But, according to the Des Moines Register, Berryman is just another bad boy on a roster filled with them.

According to the newspaper, Berryman last played for the Cyclones in 2005, when he was third on the team with 72 tackles, had had several legal problems.

The Register reports: "In his last college game, the 2005 Houston Bowl, he collected 12 tackles and five sacks. As a freshman, he was named the Big 12's defensive newcomer of the year in 2003.

"Berryman, however, drew almost as much attention to himself off the field.

"He was kicked off the team last January shortly after being ticketed for being "on premises under age" at a dance club. He had spent 258 days in the Story County jail for punching an Iowa State student and robbing him of $4 and a cell phone from in August 2004. He was released from jail in April 2005 and was allowed to rejoin the Cyclones that August.

"Berryman applied for the 2006 NFL supplemental draft last summer but was not selected

floodcitygirl
01-04-2007, 01:11 PM
Judging by the editorials, there are even some Bengal fans that are beginning to question the choices that are being made in the criminals that are put on that team. The sad thing is, if the Bengals start to win a game or two next season....it'll all be forgotten.

HometownGal
01-04-2007, 01:24 PM
...and the saga continues

Yep - good ol' Marv is sure bringing down that iron fist, huh? His ass sucks wind.

SteelerFanInCA
01-04-2007, 01:43 PM
:blah: :blah: :blah: :blah:

stillers4me
01-04-2007, 05:44 PM
Found it..it was a take off of a post about an actual job application..I just tweeked it

Perfect!! I knew my faith in my fellow Steeler fans was not in vain!!!!! :sofunny:

polamalufan43
01-04-2007, 07:17 PM
I think he won't cut any of them because if he did half of his team would be gone by the end of the season. :flap:

~Polamalufan43:tt02:

fansince'76
01-04-2007, 08:37 PM
Damage control in the form of more lip service from Marvin Lewis. The man quite obviously DOES NOT CARE if his players are a bunch of thugs or not. He didn't give two shits about character when he was the DC in Ratbirdland and he doesn't now.

X-Terminator
01-04-2007, 09:09 PM
He sets off the BS Detector every time he opens his mouth...

MACH1
01-05-2007, 12:48 AM
http://jonathansizemore0.tripod.com/id10.html
LMAO Kind of gross, but funny
Not sure who the first guy is?

tony hipchest
04-24-2007, 12:54 AM
http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/6725166

anyone care to decipher what mushmouth lewis is trying to say now?

Lewis definitely believes there are too many good, quality players available in the draft to take any more risks.

"We're spending too much time trying to change habits instead of coaching the good guys," he said. "A guy who has had social problems with drugs and alcohol has a hard time with discipline. A guy who can't get along with his teammates and coaches has a hard time with discipline. A guy who doesn't like to be a called a (racial slur) and comes back at a guy, I can live with that guy. There's a difference."
...another joke of an article, where the bengals try to defend drafting thugs (and promise to think about changing strategies). appearantly now its because brown doesnt like or agree with goodell or the new CBA.

fansince'76
04-24-2007, 01:24 AM
Well, it's been over a month since the last Bungle arrest, so that's something, I guess.

RoethlisBURGHer
04-24-2007, 01:27 AM
Marvin Lewis
One Paul Brown Stadium
Cincinnati, OH 45202
(513) 621-3550

Education

Idaho State University
Major: Thugonomics
Graduated: Expelled
GPA: 0.00

Work History

Head Coach, Cincinnati Bengals 1/2003-present
Salary: Peanuts
Record: 35-30-0 (regular season),0-1-0 (playoffs),35-31-0 (overall)
Special accomplishments: Only head coach in Bengals history to not expeirence a losing season (but don't take that as a success,I have gone 8-8 three times and 11-5 once,winning the division over the Steelers by a tiebreaker,then losing to them in the playoffs as they went on to win the Super Bowl).

Defensive Coordinator, Washington Redskins (2002)
Salary: Peanuts
Special accomplishments: We had a defense on that team?News to me!

Defensive Coordinator, Baltimore Ravens (1996-2001)
Salary: Less-than-peanuts
Special accomplishments: Won a Super Bowl with the defense,I was jsut lucky enough to have such good players. Washington and Cincinnati proved that my schemes were crap because nobody else could execute them.It always seems like the other team knows what they are going to do.

Linebackers Coach, Pittsburgh Steelers
Salary: Peanuts
Special accomplishments: Went to the Super Bowl XXX and lost.Learned that this was once classy orginization from ownership on down and decided to get out before they filled my head with that class garbage.

References

Ray Lewis,MLB,Baltimore Ravens
Relationship: Butt-buddy

Chris Henry,WR,Cincinatti Bengals
Relationship: Drinking buddy

Brian Billick,HC,Baltimore Ravens
Relationship: Gay lover

tony hipchest
04-24-2007, 01:40 AM
Marvin Lewis
One Paul Brown Stadium
Cincinnati, OH 45202
(513) 621-3550

Education

Idaho State University
Major: Thugonomics
Graduated: Expelled
GPA: 0.00

Work History

Head Coach, Cincinnati Bengals 1/2003-present
Salary: Peanuts
Record: 35-30-0 (regular season),0-1-0 (playoffs),35-31-0 (overall)
Special accomplishments: Only head coach in Bengals history to not expeirence a losing season (but don't take that as a success,I have gone 8-8 three times and 11-5 once,winning the division over the Steelers by a tiebreaker,then losing to them in the playoffs as they went on to win the Super Bowl).

Defensive Coordinator, Washington Redskins (2002)
Salary: Peanuts
Special accomplishments: We had a defense on that team?News to me!

Defensive Coordinator, Baltimore Ravens (1996-2001)
Salary: Less-than-peanuts
Special accomplishments: Won a Super Bowl with the defense,I was jsut lucky enough to have such good players. Washington and Cincinnati proved that my schemes were crap because nobody else could execute them.It always seems like the other team knows what they are going to do.

Linebackers Coach, Pittsburgh Steelers
Salary: Peanuts
Special accomplishments: Went to the Super Bowl XXX and lost.Learned that this was once classy orginization from ownership on down and decided to get out before they filled my head with that class garbage.

References

Ray Lewis,MLB,Baltimore Ravens
Relationship: Butt-buddy

Chris Henry,WR,Cincinatti Bengals
Relationship: Drinking buddy

Brian Billick,HC,Baltimore Ravens
Relationship: Gay lover

:sofunny: -nice!

RoethlisBURGHer
04-24-2007, 01:42 AM
Thanks Tony,I couldn't help it.I had to do it.

Not everyday i have the chance to bash three of the teams I hate the most (Bungals,Ratbirds,Foreskins).

Preacher
04-24-2007, 01:57 AM
Well, it's been over a month since the last Bungle arrest, so that's something, I guess.

Well...

they have spent all thier money on bail

fansince'76
04-24-2007, 01:59 AM
Well...

they have spent all thier money on bail

Do ya think they are all under management-directed house arrest? :chuckle:

Crushzilla
04-24-2007, 09:24 AM
Either that or they'll all be management at Taco Bell in a year...

rbryan
04-24-2007, 12:18 PM
I guess he doesn't realize that taking away thier playing time is like telling everyone at the post office they will still get paid to stand around and watch today.

Marv is the lamest excuse for a coach I've ever seen. He's a sissy boy. It amazes me how so many the experts on ESPN, NFL network etc.. gush about him being such a good coach.

RoethlisBURGHer
04-25-2007, 12:22 AM
I guess he doesn't realize that taking away thier playing time is like telling everyone at the post office they will still get paid to stand around and watch today.

Marv is the lamest excuse for a coach I've ever seen. He's a sissy boy. It amazes me how so many the experts on ESPN, NFL network etc.. gush about him being such a good coach.

All Marvin has had is three 8-8 seasons (which are reasons to celebrate in Bunholeville) and a fluke 11-5 season.

Preacher
04-25-2007, 01:31 AM
All Marvin has had is three 8-8 seasons (which are reasons to celebrate in Bunholeville) and a fluke 11-5 season.

Don't forget...

That means that they are the best team in the NFL... According to the Bengals!!

HometownGal
04-25-2007, 08:50 AM
The only bowl this Bungles team is going to get to any time in the near future with that bunch of hoodlums and an "enabler" for a coach is the toilet bowl.

lamberts-lost-tooth
04-25-2007, 09:45 AM
We get calls everyday from "Marvin Lewis" type parents..who make excuses for their kids behavior until they are called on the table about it...then it is the "I cant hold their hand" red herring!!!
The reality is that MANY NFL teams have been able to instill discipline into their locker rooms and still be successfull....Marvin wont/cant.....end of story.

Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise.-Woodrow Wilson