View Full Version : Cop Come-backs.....

02-25-2007, 09:19 PM
The following 15 police comments were taken from actual Dallas Police car videos and distributed by Monica Smith, Director DPD, Public Relations Officer:

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? "

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10. "Yes sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you that when you run that stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair?......You want me to be fair? Listen pal, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey doo!"

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through the records department. "

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And....................THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!

#1. "Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
Well, you are right, we don't. Now, sign here."

02-26-2007, 07:30 AM


02-26-2007, 08:38 AM
HAHAHA Thats funny because at 3 AM i said #11!!

02-26-2007, 04:29 PM
Those are too funny.....I am going to copy those into an email and send some of my buddies at the department.

02-26-2007, 04:34 PM
good stuff..

03-01-2007, 05:34 AM
Mounted Cop

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him.
''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?''

''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!''

The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said, ''Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.''

To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ''Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He sure did,'' said the cop.

The little boy looked up at the cop and said, ''Next year tell Santa to put the di*k underneath the horse instead of on top.''

03-02-2007, 09:13 AM
Those are too funny.....I am going to copy those into an email and send some of my buddies at the department.

That's what I'm doing right now. To the few cops that I know. :wink02: