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Livinginthe past
05-06-2007, 03:05 PM
This is a post from a NY Jets message board - i'll admit some bits made me laugh.

As far as bitter, angry comedy goes this is pretty good.

ATTENTION PEOPLE: As a result of recent events, there are going to be a few changes around this here National Football League. You all brought this on yourselves.

Effective immediately, the New England Patriots will no longer be known as the New England Patriots, but the New England Awesomes. Along those same lines, Robert and Jonathan Kraft will now be known as Robert Awesome and Jonathan Awesome.

Tom Brady will be known now as Hunky McFabulous, and he'll be throwing footballs this season to Randy Mawesome.

Tedy Bruschi's name will still be Tedy Bruschi - but so will yours.

Touchdowns will still be known as touchdowns, except when scored by the New England Awesomes, in which case they will be referred to as: "Of Courses." Fieldgoals will be worth seven points for the New England Awesomes, since they would have probably scored an Of Course if they really felt like it.

National Football League schedulers will be be revising the schedule to reflect that the New England Awesomes will play who they want, when they want, and where they want, and they will be on National television at all times. They will preempt whatever non-New England Awesome show is wasting everyone's time in that slot. Games won't just be limited to other NFL teams. Don't be surprised if your doorbell rings and you find the New England Awesomes out on your front porch ready to play, and CBS is trying to figure out how to hang a camera from your neighbor's cupola. Nor should you be surprised if, during the bye-week, the New England Awesomes conquer Liechtenstein just for fun.

In honor of this new arrangement, GIllette will announce a new razor - their third new one this week - and, thankfully, their last new razor ever. The new Gillette Awesome will look suspiciously like a plain ol' wooden stick, but when you hold it up to your face, the hair is mysteriously scared right down the sink. Don't even think about shaving your junk with this.


And remember, people, you asked for all this.

HometownGal
05-06-2007, 05:05 PM
:toofunny: I got a good laugh out of that, Nigel. :toofunny:

The New England Awesomes will still be coached, however, by the man now dubbed as "Awesome Dikhead". :flap:

klick81
05-06-2007, 05:14 PM
LOL...that was creative.

stillers4me
05-06-2007, 05:18 PM
The New England Awesomes will still be coached, however, by the man now dubbed as "Awesome Dikhead". :flap:

:toofunny: :toofunny: :toofunny:

Jeremy
05-06-2007, 05:56 PM
It's going to be so much fun watching that team implode this year. The only thing better would be watching Robert Kraft get kicked in the crotch by a mule on steroids.

lamberts-lost-tooth
05-06-2007, 06:49 PM
Not surprised...Randy Moss has been playing when and where he wants for years...must be contagious.

Livinginthe past
05-06-2007, 08:51 PM
:toofunny: I got a good laugh out of that, Nigel. :toofunny:

The New England Awesomes will still be coached, however, by the man now dubbed as "Awesome Dikhead". :flap:

Hey,

Anything that makes you happy make me happy..you know that.

Well apart from a Steeler victory over the Patriots :wink02:

Bill's not such a bad guy - you'd love him if he was your coach :sofunny:

SteelCityMan786
05-06-2007, 09:20 PM
:toofunny: I got a good laugh out of that, Nigel. :toofunny:

The New England Awesomes will still be coached, however, by the man now dubbed as "Awesome Dikhead". :flap:

:toofunny: :toofunny:

HometownGal
05-06-2007, 09:39 PM
Bill's not such a bad guy - you'd love him if he was your coach :sofunny:

I'd rather poke my eyes out with a fork if he were ever named the HC of the Steelers (well - after I poked his out first). :wink02: :flap:

Livinginthe past
05-06-2007, 09:54 PM
I'd rather poke my eyes out with a fork if he were ever named the HC of the Steelers (well - after I poked his out first). :wink02: :flap:

Okay.

LOL :wink02:

Jeremy
05-06-2007, 10:57 PM
Bill's not such a bad guy - you'd love him if he was your coach :sofunny:

He has a point. Hitler was Time's Man of the Year.

GBMelBlount
05-06-2007, 10:58 PM
:toofunny: I got a good laugh out of that, Nigel. :toofunny:

The New England Awesomes will still be coached, however, by the man now dubbed as "Awesome Dikhead". :flap:

And his assistant coach is still "Richard Cranium II":sofunny:

HometownGal
05-07-2007, 09:10 AM
And his assistant coach is still "Richard Cranium II":sofunny:

You do mean "Awesome Richard Cranium II", don't ya? :wink02:

revefsreleets
05-07-2007, 07:04 PM
I'm still not so sure this will work for them. Look at the Yankee's this year. They have a team loaded from top to bottom, and they are 14-15. Yeah, they have some injuries at pitcher, but they just threw another 28 million at an old man to fix that problem. What if he gets injured?

RoethlisBURGHer
05-07-2007, 08:39 PM
The best thing about the New England Awesomes is that they will be a stepping stone on the Pittsburgh Steelers way to thier sixth Super Bowl Championship. :wink02: :flap:

GBMelBlount
05-07-2007, 11:20 PM
The best thing about the New England Awesomes is that they will be a stepping stone on the Pittsburgh Steelers way to thier sixth Super Bowl Championship. :wink02: :flap:

Dude, love Nigel, but can't sleep til we crush them like Ben's rookie!

SteelersMongol
05-08-2007, 11:52 AM
Hey,

Anything that makes you happy make me happy..you know that.

Well apart from a Steeler victory over the Patriots :wink02:

Bill's not such a bad guy - you'd love him if he was your coach :sofunny:

Hey, thanks for the post. LMAO. Though I respect your team, I don't like Bill, your HC. :tt02:

Livinginthe past
05-08-2007, 12:11 PM
Hey, thanks for the post. LMAO. Though I respect your team, I don't like Bill, your HC. :tt02:

Ya welcome Mongol.

Its not a rivalry if we 'like' the other team or their head coach is it? :wink02:

memphissteelergirl
05-08-2007, 12:31 PM
Hehe...that was funny :sofunny: :sofunny: