View Full Version : Southern Grandma

05-16-2007, 12:08 PM
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Smith. I've known you since you
were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You
lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains
to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do, I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet
voice, said,
"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the
electric chair."

05-23-2007, 10:12 AM
That was so hysterical, I had to send it to my wife.

05-23-2007, 03:05 PM
That was so hysterical, I had to send it to my wife.


Sent it to my wife also.