View Full Version : Newton's Third Law is wrong...

11-07-2007, 07:18 PM
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Troy Polamalu tackle.

When James Harrison was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he bodyslamed the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Post your modified Chuck Norris jokes here :tt02:

11-07-2007, 07:55 PM
James Harrison was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head.

James Harrison starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

James Harrison can crush a skull with a wiffle-ball bat.

When James Harrison says he's humanitarian, he means he eats humans.

11-07-2007, 08:01 PM
James Harrison does not to "push-ups". He makes the Earth do "push-downs".

11-07-2007, 10:38 PM
Anthony Smith destroyed the periodic table, because Smith only recognizes the element of surprise.

11-09-2007, 08:18 PM
Wilt Chamberlin claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Ben Roethlisberger calls this a "slow tuesday".

The chief export of James Harrison is pain.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for James Harrison.

James Harrison is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Hines Ward uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Casey Hampton once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Hines Ward and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Troy Polamalu likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

Mike Tomlin can divide by zero.

Dick LeBeau invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Brian Billick invented pink.

11-09-2007, 08:38 PM
In the begining there was nothing... Then James Harrison bodyslammed that nothing and told it to go get a job.

Some guys wish they were hung like horses. Horses wish they were hung like Troy Polamalu.