View Full Version : Cussing at work memo

11-18-2007, 01:39 PM
*** Sorry about the expletives (or expletive wannabes).
If this is totally "cleaned up", I think it loses some of it's humor.
I tried to censor it (somewhat), if I didn't, then I apologize...:wave:


Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 new and innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases
have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information
can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING : I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF : You don't know what the f*** are you doing!

Number 2
TRY SAYING : She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF : She's a f***ing bitch!

Number 3
TRY SAYING : Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF : And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING : I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF : No f***ing way!

Number 5
TRY SAYING : Really?
INSTEAD OF : You've got to be sh***ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING : Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF : Tell someone who gives a sh**!

Number 7
TRY SAYING : I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF : It's not my f***ing problem!

Number 8
TRY SAYING : That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF : What the f***?

Number 9
TRY SAYING : I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF : This sh** won't work!

Number 10
TRY SAYING : I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF : Why the f*** you didn't tell me sooner!

Number 11
TRY SAYING : He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF : He's got his head up his arse!

Number 12
TRY SAYING : Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF : Eat sh** and die!

Number 13
TRY SAYING : So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF : Kiss my arse!

Number 14
TRY SAYING : I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF : F*** it! I'm on a salary!

Number 15
TRY SAYING : I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF : Shove it up your arse!

Number 16
TRY SAYING : I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF : This f***ing job sucks!

Number 17
TRY SAYING : You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF : Who the f*** died, and made you the boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING : He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF : He's a d***!

Thank You,

Human Resources

11-19-2007, 07:10 PM
:toofunny: :sofunny: :toofunny: :sofunny: :toofunny: :sofunny: :toofunny:

11-21-2007, 11:57 AM
:toofunny: 2nd from the bottom is just great.