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View Full Version : You've got to be kidding right?


MACH1
07-16-2008, 02:49 PM
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'.

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

Preacher
07-16-2008, 05:07 PM
I have heard of some of those...

the others... just don't surprise me!

The Duke
07-16-2008, 05:13 PM
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

I bet this was a bengals fan :sofunny:

fansince'76
07-16-2008, 05:35 PM
4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

I bet this was a bengals fan :sofunny:

Bengals fan, nothing - it was probably Chris Henry. After all, he's supposedly "broke (http://www.daytondailynews.com/s/content/oh/story/sports/pro/bengals/2008/07/09/ddn070908spnflnotes.html)." :violin: :chuckle:

Despite making about $2.5 million since 2005 as a member of the Cincinnati Bengals, Chris Henry is so broke he wants taxpayers to pay for a record of his trial.

"He's broke," said Perry Ancona, the former wide receiver's attorney said Tuesday, July 8. "He doesn't have any money to pay for a transcript."

revefsreleets
07-16-2008, 05:59 PM
I totally believe Chris Henry is broke. You think that guy managed his money well? Between drugs and under aged chicks and handguns and stripper tips and phat whips, that dude probably blew 3 million, and he only MADE 2.5. I would trust Chris Henry to do exactly one thing well: Thug.

klick81
07-16-2008, 06:13 PM
Come on now...i know it's the offseason, but these CAN'T be true. How about a link to a news source?

tony hipchest
07-16-2008, 06:39 PM
Come on now...i know it's the offseason, but these CAN'T be true. How about a link to a news source?

http://bengals.com/ :coffee:

GBMelBlount
07-16-2008, 07:41 PM
http://bengals.com/ :coffee:

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! :rofl:

You should be Frankens runningmate..... :thumbsup:

klick81
07-16-2008, 11:13 PM
http://bengals.com/ :coffee:

I stand corrected!

Galax Steeler
07-17-2008, 04:03 AM
Them are some good ones especially the guy standing in line and they are fireing tear gas in his house that is hillarious.

Hines0wnz
10-09-2008, 11:09 PM
I missed that one from Oakland. I wonder how old that story is? :sofunny: