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xfl2001fan
09-03-2008, 08:30 PM
My wife and I have kids, which limits the fundage, LOL.

Even so, I've managed a few treats for her for our upcoming anniversary.

Let me know what you think of this please. It's an idea for a song that I'm working on. Right now I'd say the sound is a cross between 3 Doors Down, Creed and Light House if you want to know the "sound" of it.



Thinking of the times we shared and of times we've lost
Remembering the good times we had and just how much they cost
Looking back I see a path strewn with possibilities
Mistakes we made and how much we gave
Beyond our sensibilities

Living life one day at a time, prepare for the unknown
Tripping up on our love, and over invisible stones
Looking back I see a path strewn with mistakes
The love we made and how much we gave
Praying for another one of life's lucky breaks

And I
Wouldn't change a thing
Wouldn't change a day
Wouldn't change a night
No I
Wouldn't change a thing,
Living my life
With you by my side

So now we are trying to, move on with our life
We're now a family, more than just a husband and a wife
looking forward I see a path strewn with mistakes
The love we'll share, how much we care
Still relying on lucky breaks

And I
Don't wanna change a thing
Change a day, nor change a night
No I
Won't change a thing
Living my life, with you by my side

One day we'll both grow old, look back upon our strife
Sitting out on our porch swing, savoring our life
Looking back we'll look upon the path that we had set
And I know at least for me, there will be no regret

And I
Wouldn't change a thing
Change a day, nor change our nights
No I
Wouldn't change a thing
Living this way, with you as my wife

Happy Anniversary Baby!!!!

revefsreleets
09-03-2008, 09:30 PM
That's pretty personal...I respect that...you are no LITP, I'll grant you that...

It's SO 3 Doors Down.

xfl2001fan
09-03-2008, 09:50 PM
Yeah, I couldn't help but have their sound come out on this one. Was listening to their first CD about a week ago and some of their rhythms and lyrical composition stuck with me.

At least it wasn't hard core country like a lot of what I write, lol. Nothing wrong with country, but I've really been working on broadening the horizons.

Still, looking for critiques. Took me less than 20 minutes to actually type this out...fleshing out the music will take significantly longer, but looking to see opinions before I begin putting forth significant effort on the music part.

Steelman16
09-03-2008, 10:39 PM
I think it's great! For a lyric like that one, I'd have to hear the meter before I'd be able to critique the syllables and such, most of my songs are like that too.

If you've got something of a melody already in your head, I see no problems at all. If not, it might be a little trickier to work it, but not much.

Are you recording it? If so, looking forward to the final product!

:thumbsup:

xfl2001fan
09-04-2008, 08:01 AM
I think it's great! For a lyric like that one, I'd have to hear the meter before I'd be able to critique the syllables and such, most of my songs are like that too.

If you've got something of a melody already in your head, I see no problems at all. If not, it might be a little trickier to work it, but not much.

Are you recording it? If so, looking forward to the final product!

:thumbsup:

Only long enough to play it for the wife. I sound like a stepped-on bullfrog when I sing:doh:, so this will likely never go "live." We all have our limitations, my strength plays towards being a "word smith".

I'm also a terrible musician, but there are many computer programs that can help cover those flaws up. :thumbsup:

I've sent it to a couple of my musically talented friends to see what they can advise.