View Full Version : Drinking The Kool Aid

10-03-2008, 01:37 PM
Warning, the following is Politically Neutral.

Buddy of mine in a football sim league posted this:

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Once upon a time, mortgage brokers sold Kool Aid. Suddenly, Wall Street became extremely thirsty. They couldn't get enough Kool Aid. The price for Kool Aid went way up.

Mortgage brokers turned to their Kool Aid supplier: homebuyers. "We need more Kool Aid," they said. But homebuyers didn't have enough Kool Aid. With the help of their mortgage brokers, they increased the amount of Kool Aid by adding fillers: melamine, arsenic, whatever. "As long as the price of Kool Aid keeps rising," the homebuyers were told, "you'll be able to sell it to someone else and buy clean Kool Aid later. You won't have to drink it."

Wall Street bought the tainted Kool Aid by the truck full. Fannie Mae bought the Kool Aid, froze it, and sold it as popsicles. Freddie Mac bought the popsicles, melted them, thickened it, and sold it as a syrup. Bear Stearns bought the syrup, carbonated it, and sold it as a soda. At each step, the price of the Kool Aid increased, as did the profits.

Then one day, the people said, "$800,000 for Kool Aid? Are you profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering kidding me? Isn't that shit still a nickel a packet at Walmart? And what kind of jackass came up with Kool Aid soda anyway?"

Wall Street said, "Oh. profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfilter."

Then the reports of tainting began to creep in. It might be tap water with food coloring here, or adding dog piss there, but it started to add up to some really, really bad Kool Aid.

Wall Street had poured a shitload of money into its Kool Aid supplies, and they needed a buyer. Wall Street responded by pulling the strings on its puppet named White House. White House invested a lot of monetary policy into encouraging the Kool Aid market, making cheap loans available for Kool Aid distributors, as well as giving tax incentives to new Kool Aid buyers. None of it really worked. The Kool Aid market had frozen, and the last one holding it was going to have to drink it.

The blogosphere echoed with a common refrain from noted econonists and the common man alike: "The banks made the Kool Aid, make them drink it!"

Then Wall Street coaxed their fuzzy pet Congressmen into a bailout. The cuddly little critters have a talent for malaprops, and they began to refer to the "bailout" as a "rescue." These critters scurry around the nation every day, slipping into the people's paychecks, and escaping with fat wads of cash before they can get shot.

Today, the critters emerged from their nest with a massive wad of the people's cash and presented it to Wall Street to buy the Kool Aid. Each person's share of the Kool Aid is in the mail as we speak.

Cheers, everyone! Drink up!