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fansince'76
12-03-2008, 09:23 AM
For HTG (Marianne) and her mom. A few days ago, Marianne had to take her mother to the hospital as she fell and opened a gash on her nose that required 5 stitches to close. Unfortunately, while she has been in the hospital, the doctor has diagnosed her as having mid-to-late stage Alzheimer's and now she will be required to be placed in an assisted-living facility. Marianne is really struggling with the fact that she will have to do this, as she made a promise to her mom that she would never do so. I know that it really wasn't her decision to have to do this, it was the doctor's and if there was any way to avoid it, she would, and I have told her as much, but she still feels like she is breaking a promise she made to her.

Please keep Marianne and her mother in your thoughts and prayers in this difficult time. Thank you!

devilsdancefloor
12-03-2008, 09:26 AM
will keep them both in my thoughts and prayers for sure

LambertIsGod58
12-03-2008, 09:32 AM
I'll definately do that...I've been up close and personal with Alzheimer's and it's very sad.

Polamalu Princess
12-03-2008, 10:13 AM
For HTG (Marianne) and her mom. A few days ago, Marianne had to take her mother to the hospital as she fell and opened a gash on her nose that required 5 stitches to close. Unfortunately, while she has been in the hospital, the doctor has diagnosed her as having mid-to-late stage Alzheimer's and now she will be required to be placed in an assisted-living facility. Marianne is really struggling with the fact that she will have to do this, as she made a promise to her mom that she would never do so. I know that it really wasn't her decision to have to do this, it was the doctor's and if there was any way to avoid it, she would, and I have told her as much, but she still feels like she is breaking a promise she made to her.

Please keep Marianne and her mother in your thoughts and prayers in this difficult time. Thank you!

What a difficult situation. I will be praying.:hug:

drizze99
12-03-2008, 10:17 AM
Poor Marianne... tough times call on tough people and I know she will be strong. My thoughts and prayers go out to her and her mother.

NJarhead
12-03-2008, 10:17 AM
At this point, I don't think any of us would blame her for wanting to throw her arms up in surrender. Of course, we know she'll be the last to do that. Marianne, you and your Mother have my prayers for as long as you need them. :hug: Keep your chin up.

Leftoverhard
12-03-2008, 10:22 AM
HTG - I'm sorry about your mom. I'm sure you love her very much - and of course she knows that. :hug:

stlrtruck
12-03-2008, 10:34 AM
Much love and prayers for Marianne and her mom. We'll be praying that the doctor was wrong and that her mom will return to being at home.

GBMelBlount
12-03-2008, 04:58 PM
Both Marianne, and her mother are in my thoughts and prayers.

Preacher
12-03-2008, 05:47 PM
She has my prayers yet again.

Wow. Very sad.

X-Terminator
12-03-2008, 06:06 PM
I talked to her on the phone Monday night, and yeah, she is really struggling with this situation. It's something she thought she'd never have to do, and I totally understand how she feels given that my own mother has a whole host of health issues and the day may come when I will have to make the same decision.

Hang in there, Marianne. You know my thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mom.

SteelCityMan786
12-03-2008, 06:53 PM
Stand Tall Marianne. Hope that the Good Lord will allow her to be healthy enough to stay out of an assisted living home.

GutterflowerSteel
12-03-2008, 07:01 PM
My heart goes out to both Marianne and her Mom. What a sad situation :crying02:

Mamaduck43
12-03-2008, 07:21 PM
Oh, Marianne - - - my prayers are with you and your mom.... I faced that same decision a few years ago, and it was the hardest thing I have ever done... On top of all of the self flogging, I was put down by relatives who had no idea of what all was going on... You have to do what you have to do to keep your mom safe and to insure your own mental and physical health.... My mom had 5 years that she probably wouldn't have had at home... Was she happy??? I don't think so, but she was safe and well cared for.... Hang in there....

steelwall
12-03-2008, 07:48 PM
Yeah that's tough situation. We went through much the same with my grandmother, some years ago. I'll pray for ya Marianne.

Galax Steeler
12-04-2008, 04:50 AM
Thoughts and prayers for you and your mom.

PAMillerGrrl83
12-04-2008, 09:23 PM
My thoughts and prayers are with HTG and her mom!

HometownGal
12-07-2008, 04:00 PM
Thank you all for your prayers and concern. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. :hug:

I have been running around all week meeting with Mom's docs, social workers and taking tours of assisted living facilities for her, as I want Mom to go to a facility where she will be taken excellent care of. I have struggled with my emotions during this time but I know after asking for God's guidance, doing some deep soul searching and a lot of tears, talking with Mom's docs, as well as my friends both here at SF and those I have known most of my life, that I am doing what I am doing out of love and concern for my Mom's safety and well being. I never dreamed in a million years that I would ever be placed into this position and it is extremely sad.

Please continue to keep my Mom in your thoughts and prayers. I love her very much and will do whatever it takes to protect her so that she will have the best quality of life possible.

Love, :hug::hug::hug::hug:
Marianne

MACH1
12-08-2008, 12:53 PM
You are both in my thoughts and prayers. :hug:

Texasteel
12-08-2008, 06:50 PM
Sorry Marianne, just found the thread.

You know that you and your mom are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Polamalu Princess
12-08-2008, 08:26 PM
Always praying friend.

fansince'76
12-08-2008, 08:29 PM
You know you're both continuing to get my thoughts and prayers. :hug:

El-Gonzo Jackson
12-08-2008, 10:20 PM
My thoughts are with her. I saw both my Grandmother and Grandfather have to be placed in a home due to Alyzheimers and its difficult.

My parents resisted at first, but when you both work and Gramps goes on a dillusional walk that ends up with him passed out in a snowbank.......you realize that no matter what you said before, the assisted living facility is the safeist place. Take care HTG. :hug:

HometownGal
12-12-2008, 04:36 PM
My thoughts are with her. I saw both my Grandmother and Grandfather have to be placed in a home due to Alyzheimers and its difficult.

My parents resisted at first, but when you both work and Gramps goes on a dillusional walk that ends up with him passed out in a snowbank.......you realize that no matter what you said before, the assisted living facility is the safeist place. Take care HTG. :hug:

Thank you Gonz. :hug: It was a very difficult decision to make but at least I know she is safe, warm and not in danger of falling again.

On Thursday, I stopped by my Mom's house to pick up some things for her to take to the residence so that she would be a little more "familiar" and while I was there, I decided to go down to the laundry room to see if she had any clothes that needed laundered. At the bottom of the steps was one of her favorite designer tops and it was all crumbled up. I went down the stairs, picked it up and was absolutely horrified. There were a few blood spots on the front but the back of the top was saturated with blood so I knew that was the top she had on when she fell. As her injuries were to her nose and eyes, I knew she must have either knocked herself out with the fall or somehow ended up on her back and laid in the pool of blood for a while. After seeing that top, I am at total peace with the decision and know I made the best decision I could for Mom.

This Christmas is going to be a little rough, but the entire family is going to get together and spend some time with Mom both on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day!

NV STEELERS 723
12-18-2008, 10:35 PM
My prayers and thoughts for you and your mom HTG...Take Care !

TroysBadDawg
12-19-2008, 11:20 PM
Prayers on their way from our house to hers, continually.

HometownGal
12-24-2008, 08:16 AM
Again - thank you all so much for praying for my Mom and I ask that you continue with those prayers.

Mom's mental agility is deteriorating rapidly and her docs are shocked. While she was still in the hospital, the psychiatritry staff gave her a "mini-mental" test to determine her agility and she got a 23/30. Before she was discharged, they gave her another one and her score was 20/30. Last Friday when I took her to the psychiatrist for a follow-up, her score was 16/30. He feels this may be due to microscopic brain infarcts that won't show up on any tests. She is also very depressed and because of the depression, doesn't leave her room much except to eat which isn't very often either. I keep telling her that she has to eat to get stronger but she doesn't seem to care, though she claims she wants to go on living. I took her for an exam yesterday morning to her PCP and when he asked her to tell him about her "living situation", she told him "it's fine - I live at home in my house". Mom honestly believes she is still at home. It's a very sad situation all the way around.

When your loved ones get up in years, spend as much time with them as you can and make sure they know how much you love them. Mom and I are very close and I don't hesitate to tell her and show her how much I love her and that I will stand by her no matter what. I've been terribly stressed out by this situation, but the way I look at it is that my parents scooped me out of an orphanage at the tender age of 7 months, called me their own, took care of me throughout my life and gave me a wonderful, happy childhood, and now it is MY turn to take care of my Mom, as my Dad would want.

Quite honestly, I don't believe she will be with us next Christmas, so the family and I are going to make this Christmas very special for her! :thumbsup:

God Bless all of you and again, many thanks for your love and prayers. :hug::hug::hug:

lamberts-lost-tooth
12-24-2008, 08:22 AM
Still keeping you and yours in my prayers buddy.

HometownGal
12-24-2008, 10:28 PM
Still keeping you and yours in my prayers buddy.


Thank you hon. That means a lot to me. :hug:

SteelCityMan786
12-24-2008, 10:39 PM
Prayers still coming from Hollidaysburg. Hopefully that odds are defied and you will be spending next Christmas with your mother.

HometownGal
02-06-2009, 05:03 PM
I want to apologize for being so "emo" lately which at times, shows up in my posts. I have a lot on my plate right now with the rapidly deteriorating situation with my Mom.

Mom's mental status continues to go downhill quickly and she has fallen three times since I moved her into the personal care residence, which is not the fault of the staff - they are absolutely wonderful with her and I've grown attached to many of them. I've also grown quite fond of several of the residents there and visited with them when I went to see my Mom.

Mom's last fall was a week ago and it necessitated her having to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. She is wheelchair bound, as she can't walk any longer and the nursing staff thought she got out of bed on her own and fell, striking herself above the eye on the ground. Various scans were performed in the E.R. and thank God, everything was negative, but she had a big lump above her eye which was badly bruised. The E.R. doc felt it best to keep her for a few days and keep an eye on her. The social workers at the hospital felt strongly that she should go to a rehab center to try to get her a little more independent, so she was transferred to a local nursing home with the best rep in town as far as rehab centers go. Needless to say, this place is a LOT different than the personal care residence but they take Mom down the hall for physical and occupational therapy services every day. She has only been there for a couple of days, but there is no change in her condition or cognitive abilities. She doesn't know who I am at times and talks very little - very much unlike my Mom. Alzheimers/dementia is a horrible disease and it has sadly taken my Mom from me, though she is still physically alive.

Please - please - continue to pray for her. Though she is 86 years old and coming to the end of her life, when she does pass, I want it to be peaceful for her. I hope I am there, as it breaks my heart to think she may pass alone - hell, it tears me apart to imagine anyone dying alone. It is terribly heartbreaking to watch someone you love so much deteriorate so rapidly right before your eyes.

I just wanted all of you to know what has been happening and why my posts contain a little more emotion than usual. Thank you to my many friends here who are helping me to cope with this situation and thank you to all of you in advance for your prayers. :hug:

fansince'76
02-06-2009, 05:15 PM
You and I have talked a lot about this, Marianne, and you know your mom and your family have my prayers. :hug: :hug: :hug:

NEPAsteeler
02-06-2009, 05:58 PM
You and your mom and most definitely in my prayers. I truly wish the best for her.

Steelersfanforlife
02-06-2009, 06:59 PM
my prayers go out to you and your family

Polamalu Princess
02-06-2009, 07:13 PM
I will be praying for you and your family.

SteelCityMom
02-06-2009, 08:08 PM
My thoughts and well wishes go out to you, your family and your mom for sure. I know it's hard to watch someone you love go through this, and know there's no real easy way to deal with it at all.

stlrtruck
02-09-2009, 08:06 AM
Prayers Marianne, for you and for your mom!

TroysBadDawg
02-09-2009, 01:22 PM
definitely in my prayers

HometownGal
02-12-2009, 04:37 PM
Thanks to all of you for the continued prayers. It really does mean so much to me. :hug::hug:

Mom is still rehabbing at the nursing home and hopefully can go back to the personal care residence - albeit moved downstairs to their Alzheimers floor - in a few weeks. :hope: I think she is more comfortable there in her own "space" and I just don't feel the warmth at the nursing home that I do at ATRIA, though I know they take very good care of her at both facilities.

Never - ever - let a day go by without telling those you love how very much they mean to you. Life is really so very short.

Texasteel
02-12-2009, 04:51 PM
I have prayed for both you and your mom every day and will continue to do so.

NEPAsteeler
02-12-2009, 10:43 PM
Still and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!

HometownGal
02-13-2009, 07:21 AM
Thank you both. :hug:

Galax Steeler
02-15-2009, 06:34 AM
You have my thoughts and prayers you were here for me when my mom had surgery and I will be here for you if you need me.

HometownGal
02-15-2009, 06:39 AM
You have my thoughts and prayers you were here for me when my mom had surgery and I will be here for you if you need me.

Thank you, my friend! :hug:

OneForTheToe
03-17-2009, 01:21 AM
Sorry for my tardiness in this thread. Thoughts and prayers as others have said.

At those times when I start to see the fragility of my own parents, I think of this thread and HTG's struggles. While they are both still relatively healthy, it is hard not to think of the inevitable.

I often think back to those times when I was a child, and that feeling I had knowing that my parents were looking out for me.... feeling sheltered and protected. I take some comfort in the thoughts that my parents have (or will have) that same feeling as I have to take care of them. Even if "by taking care of them," someday I must put them into a safer environment.

HTG, even in her present mental state, I am sure deep down your mother has that feeling. She knows you are taking care of her, by doing what is best for her, even if she can't express it.

steelwall
03-17-2009, 03:09 AM
Marianne you've had a rough little stint here. I pray for you and your mother.

HometownGal
03-17-2009, 09:08 AM
Sorry for my tardiness in this thread. Thoughts and prayers as others have said.

At those times when I start to see the fragility of my own parents, I think of this thread and HTG's struggles. While they are both still relatively healthy, it is hard not to think of the inevitable.

I often think back to those times when I was a child, and that feeling I had knowing that my parents were looking out for me.... feeling sheltered and protected. I take some comfort in the thoughts that my parents have (or will have) that same feeling as I have to take care of them. Even if "by taking care of them," someday I must put them into a safer environment.

HTG, even in her present mental state, I am sure deep down your mother has that feeling. She knows you are taking care of her, by doing what is best for her, even if she can't express it.

I think my Mom is pretty much at peace knowing that I did what I felt was best for her safety. She is MUCH better since her 30 day stay at the rehab facility where she got absolutely phenomenal physical, occupational and speech therapies - those people at Manor Care Whitehall did a superb job with her! :drink: Though she still has problems with her memory and is "out there" more often than not, she can actually walk very well with her walker (and even tries to take a stroll down the hall without her walker which is a :nono: - LOL!), is eating better and is getting out more to enjoy the many activities that ATRIA offers. :thumbsup: The docs also took her off of the Haldol which has basically turned her into a zombie. We really thought for a while we were going to lose her and the turn-around has been short of miraculous! Mom will be 87 years old on June 5th and I want her to see her 97th birthday and beyond!

Again, thank you all so much for your prayers. I think the Good Lord heard every single one of them! :hug: :hug: :hug: