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Da 'Burgh
01-13-2009, 09:08 PM
FACTS about Troy Polamalu

-Troy Polamalu's tears can cure cancer.....too bad he has never cried.

-When Troy Polamalu was born, he already had his long flashy hair. It was so innately thick and manly that it could catch interceptions in itself and in fact had the best "hands" in the nfl. However, the nfl, seeing this as unfair, later required faceguards to be put on all helmets, not to prevent injury, but to prevent Troy from dominating the league and to give QBs a chance to throw.

-It is said that Troy Polamalu sold his soul to the devil for his manly hair and the ability to cover defenders and predict QBs throws. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Troy threw down a double move and freaked out the devil so bad that the devil was crippled, thus allowing Troy to take his soul back. the devil, who appreciates irony, couldnt stay mad and admitted that he should have seen it coming. they now go fishing together every other tuesday.

-Troy Polamalu once ran so fast that he broke the speed of light, causing himself to go back in time and bump into the elite German Luftwaffe, causing the squadran to lose control and crash their planes into the sea...this is how the Battle of Britian was won .

-Troy Polamalu built a time machine and went back in time to stop both the bombs of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Unfortunatley....what Troy did not know was that he himself was "the bomb".

-Troy Polamalu is not endowed like a whale, whales are endowed like Troy.

-To prove that it isnt a big deal to beat cancer, Troy Polamalu smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years while sitting out in the sun for many days without sunscreen. Only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. beat that, Lance Armstrong.

-Troy Polamalu lost his virginity before his grandfather did.

-Troy Polamalu was the fourth wiseman. he brought baby Jesus the gift of "long hair" Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious favoritism, used their combined influence to have Troy omitted from the Bible.

-The story of Samson is based on Troy Polamalu, only thing is that Troy is smart enough not to be deceived by women.

-The City of Troy was named after Polamalu. It was well defended because of him. Unfortunately, the same day the Wooden Horse was built, he had to go back to the future due to a possible tear in the time/space fabric. The rest is history......

-Seeing how Troy Polamalu provides great defense....the military drafted him. He now stops bullets for the soldiers overseas on his days off.

BlastFurnace
01-13-2009, 09:14 PM
I thought these were attributes of Tim Tebo

Da 'Burgh
01-13-2009, 09:15 PM
I saw it online ...I guess someone substituted Troy for them

markymarc
01-14-2009, 07:02 AM
Not bad. Let's just hope Troy has healing powers and can be 100% by Sunday.

Hammer67
01-14-2009, 09:27 AM
meh....not as funny as the Chuck Norris ones.

SteelCityKing
01-14-2009, 09:57 AM
Troy Polamalu went into puberty in the 3rd trimester.

Troy Polamalu sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Troy Polamalu doesn't know where you live, but he knows where you are goin to die.

agreed, not as funny as the Chuck Norris ones, but they still make me chuckle a little bit. haha!

realdeal
01-14-2009, 10:29 AM
Someone is in LOVE with Troy. I hope you're a chick!:laughing: