PDA

View Full Version : Razing Arizona The Cardinals' presence in the Super Bowl is fluky and disgraceful.


mesaSteeler
01-26-2009, 07:13 PM
Razing Arizona
The Cardinals' presence in the Super Bowl is fluky and disgraceful.
By Charles P. Pierce
Posted Monday, Jan. 26, 2009, at 6:37 AM ET

I can tell you exactly when I began hating the Arizona Cardinals, and it wasn't when they came to Foxborough in December, took one look at the falling snow, and decided they would commit public consumer fraud for the balance of the afternoon.

No, it was sometime midway through the BCS national championship game between Oklahoma and Florida. For those of you who missed it, Fox television announcer Thom Brennaman treated Florida quarterback Tim Tebow in a fashion that I am absolutely sure violates the anti-stalking statutes in at least five states.

At one point, Brennaman said, "If you're fortunate enough to spend five minutes or 20 minutes around Tim Tebow, your life is better for it." And then he said, after Tebow got nailed for a taunting penalty, "That might be the first thing he's ever done wrong." This is the kind of stuff for which the Eternal Word Television Network was, ah, created, and Thom Brennaman made the late Mother Angelica look like Kathy Griffin.

This happens a lot in football. The game is afflicted by announcers who spend an awful lot of time wrapping football in the Great American Family Values comforter.

They festoon it with jingoistic baubles and cheap patriotic gewgaws. And all of this is to place the game's fundamental destruction and brutality on some higher plane than that occupied by people who simply beat the crap out of one another in bars on a Friday night.

This is how we end up with Thom Brennaman treating the national collegiate football championship game as though he were the Chad and Jeremy correspondent for Tiger Beat back in the day. This is also how we are going to be inundated with mendacious swill over the next two weeks on the subject of what a great story the Arizona Cardinals are.

(Before we go any further, you, there, Larry Fitzgerald? You can leave the room now, because none of what follows applies to you. You're having the most significant postseason any nonquarterback has had in about 20 years.)

We're going to hear about how they magically transformed themselves at the end of the season. We're going to hear about the remarkable comeback of Kurt Warner. We're going to hear about how marvelous it is for the National Football League that a Super Bowl championship is within the grasp of a team so thickly dripping with obvious mediocrity that it's a wonder Charlie Sheen isn't playing left guard.

We are going to hear all of this because the NFL and its broadcast partners operate on the very simple premise that everybody who reports—or follows—their sport on television is a paste-eating moron.

This simple fact is that the very presence of the Arizona Cardinals in the Super Bowl is at best a fluke and, at worst, a disgrace.

They played in a landfill of a division. They won their two playoff games because Jake Delhomme of Carolina turned the ball over six times and because the Philadelphia Eagles all looked at the newspapers last Sunday and discovered they were in the NFC championship game again.

The Cardinals are a glorified Arena Football League team with a soft defense and a running game unworthy of the name. They are in the position that they're in because the NFL rigs its season worse than any carny rigs his wheel. For all the macho posturing of its principal propagandists, between the jiggering of the schedule and the conniving of the draft and the socialistic revenue schemes, and the desperate grab for any mechanism that will flatten out the differences between really good teams and really bad ones, the NFL is the league that comes closest to the biddy soccer league philosophy of making sure that everyone gets a trophy.

That's what the Arizona Cardinals are: the National Participation Ribbon.

The only proof anyone should need came in the 15th game of the season, when Arizona visited New England. It already was clear this year that the Cardinals were even money to finish in the middle of the pack of any league that played in the upper latitudes, with the possible exception of the Ivies.

Send them north out of the pleasure dome that the Bidwills blackjacked out of the state of Arizona, and the team did things like give up 56 points to the New York Jets, playing such shoddy defense that Brett Favre threw for six touchdowns. This, of course, ignited another outbreak of hot and steamy Favre love from the easily smitten television press corps, so we have the Cardinals to blame even for that. In Foxborough, however, in December, they simply quit.

The Patriots scored on nine of their first 10 possessions. The score was 31-0 at halftime. There was no compelling empirical evidence that the Arizona defense ever had left the desert. Jack Molinas went to jail for going into the water less obviously than the Cardinals did that day. It was every bit as phony an outcome as any pro wrestling show's, and the essential moral difference between that game and a game in which a team actually was shaving points was negligible at best.

Bear in mind over the next week that this game will be cited as the "pivotal" moment in the Cardinals' miracle run to the Super Bowl. Ken Whisenhunt—who sat most of his offensive weapons in that game—and his staff will be the subject of gooey encomiums for cracking the whip after the loss to New England.

There will be loose talk about professionalism, and about how pride was appealed to at a critical moment. And since snow is a long shot in Tampa, they might even win the game, and then there will be more of it. And it will all be nonsense. Not even Tim Tebow could save this team's soul.

Charles P. Pierce is a staff writer for the Boston Globe Magazine and a contributing writer for Esquire. His next book, Idiot America: How Stupidity Became a Virtue in the Land of the Free, will be published in June.

Article URL: http://www.slate.com/id/2209525/

fansince'76
01-26-2009, 07:15 PM
Charles P. Pierce is a staff writer for the Boston Globe Magazine

Another bitter Patriotard. Next. :coffee:

TheSteelCurtain
01-26-2009, 07:22 PM
He definately dropped the hammer. I have not even talked that much shit yet.

mesaSteeler
01-26-2009, 07:29 PM
The question I have is why do the Boston media hate the Cardinals so much?

After all it's not like the Cardinals CHEATED their way to the Superbowl.

Edman
01-26-2009, 07:35 PM
What did the Cardinals ever do to Boston?

AllD
01-26-2009, 07:38 PM
At least it's not another cheery bio on Fitz, Whiz, or Warner. Most of the media coverage is biased towards the Cards which:

A.) Makes me want to puke.
B.) Is evidence of the upcoming blowout and designed to at least get people to watch the first half despite they will be tuning out after the 3rd Q.
C.) Is evidence that nobody knew the Cards and the NFL is going all out to sell the game.

How can these people in the media keep a straight face while they talk up the talent on the Cards? It's almost like watching the news on MSNBC and trying to find unbiased information.

History will be made on Feb. 1st in many ways such as the first to 6, first non-drafter LB to win D POY and SB, youngest coach to win SB, etc.

Enough talk about the red re-treads and how tough their team is, even their defense. They don't even deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence and the Steel Curtain II. F them and the bs media for trying to snow the viewers.

beSteelmyheart
01-26-2009, 07:39 PM
Being down here in Central Florida I can agree that the whole Tebow thing can make a person want to puke so I can relate. And who could forget Teddi Bruschi! :jerkit: Even when they did that whole feel-good story about the Bus for XL it was like, ok, enough already. But it was the Steelers so I didn't complain too much!

fansince'76
01-26-2009, 07:52 PM
What did the Cardinals ever do to Boston?

Because it's a crime to the NFL, and, for that matter, the entire sports world for the Arizona Cardinals to be playing in the Super Bowl when everybody who's anybody knows it is the natural birthright of the Pats*, who are the bestest, most wonderfulest, classisest, brassiest, brainiest, and ballsiest football team in the history of not only this universe, but all existing parallel universes as well, to be playing in it instead. :jerkit: :yawn:

TheSteelCurtain
01-26-2009, 08:03 PM
I just read a article about The patriots wanted to play a intersquad scrimmage on Mars cause they are to good for earthlings to watch anymore.

tony hipchest
01-26-2009, 08:10 PM
yeah, this article is trash. i checked out the patard board recently.

they really believe that this years playoffs were full of shitty teams and if matt cassell were allowed in, they would demolish any team in the tournament.

its really pathetic.

drizze99
01-26-2009, 08:11 PM
Did Cardinals shit in the water when they had their tea party?

TheSteelCurtain
01-26-2009, 08:18 PM
They should be glad they beat the cardinals that bad. It got them one step closer to not making the playoffs.

I guess next season is their 50th. They have already arranged a kickoff celebration with keynote speakers. J Edgar Hoover, James Bond, Oliver North, Richard Nixon and MI5. Its scheduled for 0700 hours at the Watergate hotel.

The Patriot
01-26-2009, 08:59 PM
Because it's a crime to the NFL, and, for that matter, the entire sports world for the Arizona Cardinals to be playing in the Super Bowl when everybody who's anybody knows it is the natural birthright of the Pats*, who are the bestest, most wonderfulest, classisest, brassiest, brainiest, and ballsiest football team in the history of not only this universe, but all existing parallel universes as well, to be playing in it instead. :jerkit: :yawn:

Please... :coffee:

If trash like this bores you so much then why keep pulling it up? Because I'm, for one, certainly not reading it.

shevdog
01-26-2009, 09:10 PM
Whinning Patriot fans... Pathetic.

I wonder what people outside of Pittsburgh really said about the Steelers back in the early 70's? I wasn't alive for that. Supposedly we didn't get any title shots since around the time the Cardinals last had a title shot. Seeing all those early 70's games again on the NFL network (and online) makes me wish I could have witnessed the rise of the Steelers and the Steeler Nation!

But I am not saying the Cardinals are on a similar rise, Good for them getting so far. Will be a good game.

fansince'76
01-26-2009, 09:29 PM
Please... :coffee:

If trash like this bores you so much then why keep pulling it up? Because I'm, for one, certainly not reading it.

I didn't post it, jackass. And if you're not reading it, why are you here commenting? :coffee:

devilsdancefloor
01-26-2009, 09:46 PM
* fans are mad because the cards where 9-7 and made the playoffs and the * where 11-5 and didnt.

Edman
01-26-2009, 09:46 PM
Because it's a crime to the NFL, and, for that matter, the entire sports world for the Arizona Cardinals to be playing in the Super Bowl when everybody who's anybody knows it is the natural birthright of the Pats*, who are the bestest, most wonderfulest, classisest, brassiest, brainiest, and ballsiest football team in the history of not only this universe, but all existing parallel universes as well, to be playing in it instead. :jerkit: :yawn:

That blowout win in Foxboro in the face of all the Masshole fans makes the whining all the more sweeter to hear, though. F them.

The Patriot
01-26-2009, 10:08 PM
I didn't post it, jackass. And if you're not reading it, why are you here commenting? :coffee:

The meagerly worded title alone says that this is just another poor excuse for a muckraker, attempting to start something. You guys don't have any Cards fans hanging around so you're searching the internet for crappy articles, so that you can then post how crappy you think the article is and how you have thus wasted your time reading it. I'm just here to fill that void.

But how are you?

Dino 6 Rings
01-26-2009, 10:51 PM
But how are you?

Pretty good, how are you?

HughC
01-27-2009, 12:18 AM
I had to read the article twice because I must have skimmed over the last paragraph the first time I read it. All I saw was a bunch of "Pats suck" comments and couldn't figure out where they came from. Then I went back and saw those five magic words, "writer for the Boston Globe."

It's kind of funny, because without that one line we'd all be here applauding the article for its insight and truth. Instead, since the author is from Boston, it's a 180° turn and open season on everything north and east of Manhattan. If he only used the Jets game as an example and was a writer for a New York paper, would we be skewering him for being a bitter Jets fan?

Jeez people, does anybody realize who we're playing on Sunday? Certainly hope the players are a lot more focused on the task at hand than some of the members of this board are.

tony hipchest
01-27-2009, 12:49 AM
I had to read the article twice because I must have skimmed over the last paragraph the first time I read it. All I saw was a bunch of "Pats suck" comments and couldn't figure out where they came from. Then I went back and saw those five magic words, "writer for the Boston Globe."

It's kind of funny, because without that one line we'd all be here applauding the article for its insight and truth. Instead, since the author is from Boston, it's a 180° turn and open season on everything north and east of Manhattan. If he only used the Jets game as an example and was a writer for a New York paper, would we be skewering him for being a bitter Jets fan?

Jeez people, does anybody realize who we're playing on Sunday? Certainly hope the players are a lot more focused on the task at hand than some of the members of this board are.actually, i thought it was a piece of shit article from the get go. i woulda thought just the same if it were from a pgh, seattle, giants, philly, or arizona writer.

it might as well say the 07 giants or 05 steelers were flukes. in fact it practically said that any team (other than the patriots) that wins the sb is a fluke. we all know theyre still bitter about losing to peyton manning.

the patriots are the "white trash" of the nfl. they are the trailor park dweller who wins $10 mil in the lottery and when they piss it away in 4 years, expect uncle sam to give them a $10,000/month welfare check. of course they are pissed and feel cheated when they dont get it.

TheSteelCurtain
01-27-2009, 01:01 AM
Cardinals and Pats suck. Is that better.

HughC
01-27-2009, 02:05 AM
actually, i thought it was a piece of shit article from the get go. i woulda thought just the same if it were from a pgh, seattle, giants, philly, or arizona writer.

it might as well say the 07 giants or 05 steelers were flukes. in fact it practically said that any team (other than the patriots) that wins the sb is a fluke.
I agree with you that the concept of the article - same as which many others in the national media have latched on to, that Arizona at 9-7 is undeserving - is a sham and invalid. They had the division wrapped up earlier than any other team and coasted to the finish, making the regular season record meaningless.

I just didn't read in to it that the writer was saying New England deserved to be there instead, or anything like that though. He pointed out two games (NE, NYJ) that Arizona got crushed in. Dumb argument because every team has a couple of clunkers every year, and as I stated above, the game against the Patriots meant nothing to the Cardinals.

But I don't follow your interpetation that he's saying that "any team (other than the Patriots) that wins the sb is a fluke." He's just saying there were better teams in the NFC this year in my opinion, that's all.

we all know theyre still bitter about losing to peyton manning.
Not that any of us here are bitter about losing to another team or QB . . .
the patriots are the "white trash" of the nfl. they are the trailor park dweller who wins $10 mil in the lottery and when they piss it away in 4 years, expect uncle sam to give them a $10,000/month welfare check. of course they are pissed and feel cheated when they dont get it.
We're all entitled to our opinions, but who knows; maybe I'm wrong. Just trying to be objective.

The Patriot
01-27-2009, 06:09 AM
Pretty good, how are you?

I'm great! How are the Pats forums? I hope we're being respectful and admirable in defeat, or are we too busy complaining about how our bestest, most wonderfulest, classisest, brassiest, football team should be in the super bowl?

Or both? :chuckle:

mesaSteeler
01-27-2009, 07:40 AM
actually, i thought it was a piece of shit article from the get go. i woulda thought just the same if it were from a pgh, seattle, giants, philly, or arizona writer.

it might as well say the 07 giants or 05 steelers were flukes. in fact it practically said that any team (other than the patriots) that wins the sb is a fluke. we all know theyre still bitter about losing to peyton manning.

the patriots are the "white trash" of the nfl. they are the trailor park dweller who wins $10 mil in the lottery and when they piss it away in 4 years, expect uncle sam to give them a $10,000/month welfare check. of course they are pissed and feel cheated when they dont get it.

Why are you insulting white trash for by comparing them to the the Cheatriots and scum fans?

fansince'76
01-27-2009, 08:13 AM
the patriots are the "white trash" of the nfl. they are the trailor park dweller who wins $10 mil in the lottery and when they piss it away in 4 years, expect uncle sam to give them a $10,000/month welfare check. of course they are pissed and feel cheated when they dont get it.

Careful, you might make the Pats* fan cry.

DACEB
01-27-2009, 11:18 AM
I had to read the article twice because I must have skimmed over the last paragraph the first time I read it. All I saw was a bunch of "Pats suck" comments and couldn't figure out where they came from. Then I went back and saw those five magic words, "writer for the Boston Globe."

It's kind of funny, because without that one line we'd all be here applauding the article for its insight and truth. Instead, since the author is from Boston, it's a 180° turn and open season on everything north and east of Manhattan. If he only used the Jets game as an example and was a writer for a New York paper, would we be skewering him for being a bitter Jets fan?

Jeez people, does anybody realize who we're playing on Sunday? Certainly hope the players are a lot more focused on the task at hand than some of the members of this board are.

I must ask HughC, what did you find insightful and truthful about the article?

The Patriot
01-27-2009, 11:31 AM
Careful, you might make the Pats* fan cry.

The jerk already did.

tony hipchest
01-27-2009, 11:42 AM
Why are you insulting white trash for by comparing them to the the Cheatriots and scum fans?:chuckle: youre right. that was mean. i take it back.

they are the north korean govt. who spends billions on a nuke program to threaten us and then expect millions of dollars in food aid for their hungry people...

or something like that. :wink02:

NEPAsteeler
01-27-2009, 11:45 AM
So, what kind of pointless and useless article will come out of the Boston media next? :coffee:

fansince'76
01-27-2009, 12:03 PM
The jerk already did.

:countdown

7SteelGal43
01-27-2009, 03:51 PM
Cardinals won the NFCCG...they deserve to be there...period.:coffee: NEXT !!

revefsreleets
01-28-2009, 01:03 PM
I don't know, Pats love aside, I think the guy has some valid points.

IF the Steelers play to their potential AND the Cardinals play to theirs, it should be about a 21 point blowout. Flukey things can happen, but...I'm just sayin'

The Patriot
01-28-2009, 02:13 PM
I don't know, Pats love aside, I think the guy has some valid points.

IF the Steelers play to their potential AND the Cardinals play to theirs, it should be about a 21 point blowout. Flukey things can happen, but...I'm just sayin'

Well, many fluky things have transpired following the day of Brady's injury. The severance of his precious ligaments tore a hole in the very fabric of existence. It's a miracle the NFL has held out this long.

CPanther95
01-28-2009, 02:26 PM
It's the Bledsoe curse.

It will get Cassel also.

Of course being a Patriot, Bledsoe is pretty crappy at the whole curse thing.

wadester47
01-28-2009, 02:32 PM
oh my who thinks we just take care of bussiness, enjoy the weekend and thank god that we are not Bostonians!

(Excluding NE steeler Fans)

steelreserve
01-28-2009, 05:45 PM
I just didn't read in to it that the writer was saying New England deserved to be there instead, or anything like that though. He pointed out two games (NE, NYJ) that Arizona got crushed in. Dumb argument because every team has a couple of clunkers every year, and as I stated above, the game against the Patriots meant nothing to the Cardinals.

Really? Who did the Steelers get blown out by this season?

revefsreleets
01-28-2009, 07:33 PM
It's SACRILEGE to compare the Pats and Steelers in any fashion. The teams win in opposite ways, and it dirties and sullies this thread up to mention the cheating Tuck Rules with the greatest organization in sports in the same breath.

Yuck! Take the Pats talk into an E! forum where they also talk about Flava Flav...