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siss
02-04-2009, 10:02 PM
It's the off season now, I thought this would be fun...and Ben made me do it!

Ben Roethlisberger can be divided by 0.

Super man wears Ben Roethlisberger PJ's.

The Boogey Man checks for Ben Roethlisberger under his bed every night.

Big Ben is so fast that he can actually run TO the reciever, place the ball securely in his hands, and get back to where he was before the can human eye can see. In fact, no camera has even recorded this phenomenon. Only the sonic booms give him away.

Ben's right arm has two settings: pimp-slap and kill.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Ben Roethlisberger has allowed to live.

Ben Roethlisberger does not sleep, he waits.

Ben Roethlisberger is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

Chuck Norris wears Ben Roethlisberger PJ's.

Ben Roethlisberger can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

stillers4me
02-04-2009, 10:05 PM
Carson Palmer wears Ben Roethlisberger underwear.

Tankus_Maximus
02-04-2009, 10:52 PM
Ben Roethlisberger can poop 31 flavors of ice cream.

I_Bleed_Black_And_Gold
02-04-2009, 11:07 PM
Big Ben is so fast he can run around the world an punch himself in the back of the head.

Big Ben eats the core of the apple first

Big Ben counted to infinity twice

on a side note, James Harrison once strangled a man with a cordless phone

steelwall
02-04-2009, 11:17 PM
Big Ben is so fast he can run around the world an punch himself in the back of the head.

Big Ben eats the core of the apple first

Big Ben counted to infinity twice

on a side note, James Harrison once strangled a man with a cordless phone

These are good winner!:applaudit::laughing:

Steelersfanforlife
02-04-2009, 11:27 PM
all of these are very funny!

Guttpuppy
02-04-2009, 11:29 PM
Hahahaha

verks36
02-04-2009, 11:29 PM
ben roethlisberger counted to infinity.... twice

ben roethlisberger went to burger king drive thru and ordered a BIG MAC........ and got one

JEFF4i
02-05-2009, 01:18 AM
Ben Roethlisberger doesn't sleep, he waits.

Underneath Ben Roethlisberger's chin is another throwing arm.

Ben Roethlisberger gave birth to himself.

I_Bleed_Black_And_Gold
02-05-2009, 05:21 AM
ben roethlisberger counted to infinity.... twice

ben roethlisberger went to burger king drive thru and ordered a BIG MAC........ and got one

Ha! I beat you on the first one!

Funny thing is I came back to this thread to post the second one.

Did you know Ben once beat out a catfish in a breath holding competition?

Did you know if you have five dollars, and Ben has five dollars, that Ben has more money than you?

There is no "Ctrl" button on Ben's computer. Ben is always in control.

James Harrison killed two stones with one bird.

James Harrison is suing "Myspace" for taking the name of everything around you.

Ben Roethlisberger can sneeze with his eyes open.

Ben can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

There is no theory of evolution, just creatures James Harrison allowed to live.

James Harrison doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Ben's hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.

James Harrison is the reason Waldo is hiding.

SteelCurtain7
02-05-2009, 06:48 AM
:rofl:

Stevo
02-05-2009, 07:11 AM
Here is a cool thing written about Ben:

"There’s a difference between a great passer and a great quarterback. We’ve seen this difference time and again throughout football history. But often football fans and “pundits” confuse the two.

The Cold, Hard Football Facts normally cut through gridiron confusion like a Wusthof carving knife through our blue-ribbon brisket. But even we, the emotionless arbiters of all things pigskin, are guilty at times of confusing great passers with great quarterbacks, routinely measuring quarterbacks only by their passing statistics. These numbers make for handy-dandy and easy-to-digest comparisons. Better quarterbacks often put up better passing stats. But there is more to the position than tossing the ball all over the field.

Here’s the difference: A great passer is a guy who puts up great passing numbers. Winning is merely coincidental.

A great quarterback is a guy who gets his teammates to believe in him, who helps make the entire team better and who consistently puts his club in a position to win. Posting great passing stats is merely coincidental.

A great quarterback is, in other words, a great leader.

Pittsburgh’s Ben Roethlisberger is a great quarterback. "

jev7452
02-05-2009, 08:15 AM
Here is a cool thing written about Ben:

"There’s a difference between a great passer and a great quarterback. We’ve seen this difference time and again throughout football history. But often football fans and “pundits” confuse the two.

The Cold, Hard Football Facts normally cut through gridiron confusion like a Wusthof carving knife through our blue-ribbon brisket. But even we, the emotionless arbiters of all things pigskin, are guilty at times of confusing great passers with great quarterbacks, routinely measuring quarterbacks only by their passing statistics. These numbers make for handy-dandy and easy-to-digest comparisons. Better quarterbacks often put up better passing stats. But there is more to the position than tossing the ball all over the field.

Here’s the difference: A great passer is a guy who puts up great passing numbers. Winning is merely coincidental.

A great quarterback is a guy who gets his teammates to believe in him, who helps make the entire team better and who consistently puts his club in a position to win. Posting great passing stats is merely coincidental.

A great quarterback is, in other words, a great leader.

Pittsburgh’s Ben Roethlisberger is a great quarterback. "

that is cool! wheres it from???
Oh and i also loved the one "James Harrison is the reason Waldo is hiding" :sofunny:hahaha:sofunny:

CPanther95
02-05-2009, 08:17 AM
Here's some for the other guys (apologies to Jack Bauer):

If James Harrison had been a Spartan the movie would have been called "1".

Santonio once shot caught a bullet in the chest, just to prove Plaxico was a bitch. Then he used the bullet to reload and do it again.

When someone asked Hines Ward if he was afraid of Ray Lewis, he replied "What does 'afraid' mean?"

Troy Palomalu never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Dick LeBeau's mind. Now he's sitting in a wheel chair.

LaMarr Woodley always tests positive for steroids. Not that he uses steroids. It's because steroids are made from LaMarr Woodley.

Mike Tomlin's calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Mike Tomlin.

If Ryan Clark was president, he would protect the secret service.

RunWillieRun
02-05-2009, 09:12 AM
Ben Roethlisberger once ate a rubik's cube straight out of the package. The next day he crapped it out...solved!

siss
02-05-2009, 09:48 AM
Ben Roethlisberger does not get wet, water gets Ben Roethlisberger.

Godfather
02-05-2009, 11:48 AM
Ike Taylor hits on 20...and gets an ace every time.

Jack Bauer fears Dick LeBeau.

Mewelde Moore kicked to Devin Hester once. Hester called for a fair catch.

Dino 6 Rings
02-05-2009, 12:46 PM
James Harrison sleeps with the lights on. Not because he's afraid of the dark, but because The Dark is afraid of James Harrison.

Dino 6 Rings
02-05-2009, 12:47 PM
Ben did such a great job leading his team to victory that even Joe Montana wears Big Ben Pajamas.

Edman
02-05-2009, 02:14 PM
Carson Palmer wears Ben Roethlisberger underwear.

That reminds me. Whatever happened to the "great" Carson Palmer? He really fell off the map in a hurry.

CPanther95
02-05-2009, 02:19 PM
Probably got the crabs from wearing other mens' underware.

IndyColtsSBXLI
02-05-2009, 03:37 PM
Ha! I beat you on the first one!

Funny thing is I came back to this thread to post the second one.

Did you know Ben once beat out a catfish in a breath holding competition?

Did you know if you have five dollars, and Ben has five dollars, that Ben has more money than you?

There is no "Ctrl" button on Ben's computer. Ben is always in control.

James Harrison killed two stones with one bird.

James Harrison is suing "Myspace" for taking the name of everything around you.

Ben Roethlisberger can sneeze with his eyes open.

Ben can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

There is no theory of evolution, just creatures James Harrison allowed to live.

James Harrison doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Ben's hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.

James Harrison is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Haha good ones:sofunny:

Indo
02-05-2009, 04:00 PM
Three quarterbacks, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Ben Roethlisberger go to Heaven to visit God and watch a Celtics game. God decides who will sit next to him by asking the boys a question.

God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?" Manning thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I've always tried to do right by my fans." God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tom Brady and says "What do you believe?" Tom says "I believe passion, discipline, goodness and honor are the fundamentals of life. I too have been lucky, but win or lose, I have always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields. God is moved by Tom's sincere eloquence, and offers him a seat to his right.

Finally God turns to Big Ben Roethlisberger, "And you, Ben, what do you believe?"

Ben replies "I believe you're in my seat."


:tt02: :tt02:

drucifer
02-05-2009, 04:17 PM
It is said that within James Harrison's tears is the cure for cancer...too bad he has never cried.

I_Bleed_Black_And_Gold
02-05-2009, 04:36 PM
Ben once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Dick LeBeau's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Dick LeBeau.

Big Ben can speak braille.

Mike Tomlin once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Dick LeBeau owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Ben Roethlisberger doesn't cheat death, he wins fair and square.

On a high school math test, James Harrison put down "violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because James Harrison solves all his problems with violence.

James Harrison died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Mike Tomlin runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch

James Harrison can slam a revolving door.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but James Harrison says its beef, then it's f@cking beef.

When James Harrison gives you the finger, he is telling you how many seconds you have to live.

James Harrison can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.

kittenfantastico76
02-05-2009, 05:38 PM
Here's some for the other guys (apologies to Jack Bauer):



Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Dick LeBeau's mind. Now he's sitting in a wheel chair.


This just made me laugh extremely loud at work...

kittenfantastico76
02-05-2009, 05:39 PM
all this talk of Harrison and choking totally makes me think of the Wayne Brady quote...

"Is James Harrison going to have tah choke a b*tch?"

kittenfantastico76
02-05-2009, 05:40 PM
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but James Harrison says its beef, then it's f@cking beef.


OK - last time I'm quoting someone to comment... this almost made me pee a little bit! :toofunny:

lilyoder6
02-05-2009, 05:41 PM
i have received more james harrison txts than anything else... i just think the james harrison ones are more funny

Dino 6 Rings
02-05-2009, 05:49 PM
I think a James Harrison thread needs to be started.

Mr T pities the fool. James Harrison rips the fool's head off.

James Harrison doesn't sweat, he leaks hot magma.

SteelCityKing
02-05-2009, 06:11 PM
James Harrison sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

James Harrison is allowed to talk about Fight Club and he didn't even have to fight on his first night.

James Harrison once thought he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. then he realized he was standing between two mirrors.

James Harrison looked in a mirror once and it instantly shattered. the mirror them realized to never come between James Harrison and James Harrison.

James Harrison is never wrong. except for the one time he thought he made a mistake.

James Harrison was born in a log cabin that he built with his own hands.

James Harrison has a Super Bowl ring made out of Wolverines skeleton.

James Harrison once tied a cherry stem in a knot using just his tongue. oh, and by "cherry stem" i meant "esaphagus."

James Harrison drinks a 40oz bottle of cat litter to cure cottonmouth.

James Harrison literally bleeds black and gold. =)

BehindSteelCurtain
02-05-2009, 08:24 PM
Ben Roethlisberger doesn't wear a watch......he decides what time it is.

Ben Roethlisberger is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

warddj86
02-05-2009, 08:33 PM
Ben lost his virginity before his dad did.

Ben CAN believe it's not butter

Godfather
02-05-2009, 10:54 PM
Willie Parker can turn off the lights and be in bed before the room gets dark.

siss
02-06-2009, 09:57 AM
if you spell Steelers in scrabble you win...forever.

vasteeler
02-06-2009, 11:27 AM
Ben Roethlisberger can stop a speeding car with his face

Jackal
02-06-2009, 04:05 PM
James Harrison is what Willis was talkin' about.

steelwall
02-08-2009, 12:06 AM
Ha! I beat you on the first one!

Funny thing is I came back to this thread to post the second one.

Did you know Ben once beat out a catfish in a breath holding competition?

Did you know if you have five dollars, and Ben has five dollars, that Ben has more money than you?

There is no "Ctrl" button on Ben's computer. Ben is always in control.

James Harrison killed two stones with one bird.

James Harrison is suing "Myspace" for taking the name of everything around you.

Ben Roethlisberger can sneeze with his eyes open.

Ben can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

There is no theory of evolution, just creatures James Harrison allowed to live.

James Harrison doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Ben's hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush.

James Harrison is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Man you are the best at this...hilarious
:laughing:

Mags87
02-08-2009, 05:03 AM
75% of the world is covered by water, the other 25% is covered by Troy Polamalu.
Big Ben's credit cards have no limits, last week he maxed them out.
Big Ben's truck is governed at 85mph, last weekend he got pulled over doing 120 and issued the cop a ticket.
God said, "Let there be light" and Big Ben said, "OK"
Big Ben had sex with your mom.
after Big Ben's truck ran out of gas he still got 35 miles per gallon out of it
Big Ben got punched in the face and the other guy got a bloody nose
Big Ben could wear the same size of shoe as you, and yours would still be too small for him.
Big Ben went to London to tell big ben what time it was.
Big Ben got to level 81 in WoW
If you wore a number 8 jersey, Big Ben's number 7 would be higher than yours.
Big Ben went to a restaraunt and ordered a glass of orange juice for breakfast, but they didnt have any. Needless to say, Ben had a glass of orange juice for breakfast.
The Metallica concert in Pittsburgh had been sold out for weeks, and Ben recieved $60 for getting front row seats
Big Ben ran a 3 minute mile before he could walk
if you do a coin flip and call "Big Ben" you are right.
Big Ben wins every game of tic tac toe in one move
Big Ben's toilet flushes counter clockwise
A hard place and a rock got stuck in between Big Ben
Big Ben harvests his crops a day before he plants them
Big Ben's first throw was a 100 yard TD pass to himself
Ben could order $100 dollars worth of room service, but only have $4 and still afford it
the 11th commandment said "Thou shalt root for the Steelers"
if you divide the Steelers by 0, you get a Lombardi Trophy, this has been done 6 times.

A good chunck of these are originals that i just thought of. tell me which ones are your favs!

Galax Steeler
02-08-2009, 07:28 AM
Tom brady wears Bens jock.

I_Bleed_Black_And_Gold
02-08-2009, 10:21 AM
Tom brady wears Bens jock.

That's how he knows he isn't half the man Ben is.

Galax Steeler
02-08-2009, 03:20 PM
That's how he knows he isn't half the man Ben is.

Well said.:toofunny:

markymarc
02-09-2009, 10:11 AM
This is a great post. Very nice work everyone :chuckle:

stlrtruck
02-09-2009, 10:42 AM
Ben is the reason the tv show heroes was created!

Pi Kapp Steeler
02-09-2009, 11:54 AM
Ben Roethlisberger can stop a speeding car with his face

:chuckle::rofl::toofunny: hahaha i think im the only one that caught that one

Cordlisberger
02-09-2009, 12:12 PM
Ben Roethlisberger can throw a football 200 yards underwater

kittenfantastico76
02-09-2009, 12:58 PM
Three quarterbacks, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, and Ben Roethlisberger go to Heaven to visit God and watch a Celtics game. God decides who will sit next to him by asking the boys a question.

God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?" Manning thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I've always tried to do right by my fans." God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tom Brady and says "What do you believe?" Tom says "I believe passion, discipline, goodness and honor are the fundamentals of life. I too have been lucky, but win or lose, I have always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields. God is moved by Tom's sincere eloquence, and offers him a seat to his right.

Finally God turns to Big Ben Roethlisberger, "And you, Ben, what do you believe?"

Ben replies "I believe you're in my seat."


:tt02: :tt02:

This made me laugh out loud - genuinely! LOVE IT! :tt03:

Indo
02-09-2009, 01:01 PM
That joke made me laugh out loud, too. But I can't take credit for it...it was emailed to me and I just passd it along because it fit so well into this thread...

brick
02-09-2009, 01:04 PM
Ben Roethlisberger doesn't shave...he stares at the hair he wants gone and it shrinks back into his face

kittenfantastico76
02-09-2009, 01:06 PM
I hope these haven't been said yet... I hate to be a repeat person...

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Big Ben turned that wine into beer.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Ben Roethlisberger.

James Harrison uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Big Ben is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Big Ben.
(yes... I had to go there).

Big Ben was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Ben's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious offensive-line related injuries.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects James Harrison could use to kill you, including the room itself.

kittenfantastico76
02-09-2009, 01:07 PM
That joke made me laugh out loud, too. But I can't take credit for it...it was emailed to me and I just passd it along because it fit so well into this thread...

You can take credit for posting it though - so it's all good! Thank you for sharing!

tony hipchest
02-09-2009, 01:17 PM
ben played with broken ribs in the superbowl.

after the game he barbeque'd and ate them.

kittenfantastico76
02-09-2009, 01:28 PM
ben played with broken ribs in the superbowl.

after the game he barbeque'd and ate them.

nice! :thumbsup: mmm ribs!