View Full Version : Democrats/Republicans

03-07-2009, 03:49 PM
In the beginning there was a great void...then man was created. The void was quickly filled by empty pizza containers, beer cans, & sport memorabilia. And it was good.

Then along came woman. Man was happy...very happy...until he was told to pick up all his crap and his sports memorabilia was sold in a garage sale. But Man and Woman learned to co-exist,other than for about 4 days out of the month...and in those days, yardwork and overtime was invented.

These were the golden days of Mankind. Man and Woman were different but hard working and content.

But one day, a man called Politician came into the void and told those that lived there, "I am here to give you a tax break".

Now the fact that Man had never paid taxes was irrelevant. Man was very happy to give Politician his hard earned money in exchange for getting some of it back. In fact when another man, who strangely enough was also named Politician, promised MORE money back than the other man name Politician, mankind learned how to be bought off with their own money.

Well, it seems the first politician, (who became proficient at procurring $50 dollar hammers and toilet seats from his cronies and mistresses, for the enlightenment of mankind), managed to create programs that would take all the wasted money saved by hard workers and distribute it to those who couldnt figure out how to make an occupation out of drug and alcohol abuse.

The second politician, (who made it very fashionable to wear ugly pants pulled up to his armpits) decided that when he wasnt visiting airport bathroom stalls, he had a moral obligation to decide what his constituants watched on television and the internet.

In response the people took up arms...or rather...keyboards...and they demanded that those who didnt like their ugly pants politician...should open their eyes and understand that through careful meditation and prayer they had come to realize that we DID indeed need a computer cop in every home...and anyone who couldnt see that was ill-informed.

And the second group loudly proclaimed that through philosophic contemplation and Barbara Striesand songs they were intellectual more aware than the first group who obviously didnt understand the academic implications of being without a $50 hammer.

....and as the politicians went out to dinner together at taxpayer expense...they said to each other that all was good...very good.

03-07-2009, 06:27 PM
As time passed and the internet became filled with bloggers espousing the virtues of paying $10 for a hammer and letting man and woman keep the extra $40, the second group thought perhaps computer cops were a good idea, so that there was no more talk of $10 hammers.

03-07-2009, 06:30 PM
And the congregation said,,,,, Amen.