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Hammer67
03-16-2009, 02:22 PM
So I won't go into the reasons I love being married. There are a lot of them, but I have a few annoying issues that, while not dealbreakers by any means, are things I could do without.

1) Being able to spend money on things without getting a second opinion or even outright disagreement. For example. I am a techy guy. I love home theater and work in IT. So, my vices are TV's, speakers, computers and related components. I have finally, in my life, found a great career with great pay (she can now stay home and raise the kids). And, I can now afford some of the toys that I always dreamed of buying. But, BUT, now, I get hell whenever I want to get any gizmo over $100. It isn't like I blow money out the window all the time, we are debt free, socking money away, etc. Damn I hate being held accountable anytime I want to upgrade something as if I should feel guilty every time I want something. I think about my single days when I would wake up and just wonder what the heck I wanted to do or buy.

2) Laundry. Why did my laundry quadruple when I got married? :noidea:


:twocents:

MACH1
03-16-2009, 02:30 PM
I hear ya there. Its like having to ask your parents to spend your own money on a candy bar. :laughing:

Give it more time and that list will grow.
Example: I can't remember the last time I had sex. :chuckle:

The_WARDen
03-16-2009, 02:31 PM
3) Having to negotiate the TV viewing... Before, if it was a show that involved things blowing up, mobs, or giant monsters stomping the shit out of things then I was tuned in. Now I have to watch some of the things that she wants to watch...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

steelreserve
03-16-2009, 03:16 PM
4) For some reason, women are ALWAYS cold. Even if it's 80 degrees in the house and they're in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, as long as they're inside and the heater is running, they're cold. Before, I had no problem just leaving the heater at 60; I could walk around in shorts and a T-shirt and it didn't bother me at all. The other day, I actually found myself in the absurd position of having to argue that 76 degrees was a little higher than is typically reasonable to be setting the thermostat, especially since our gas bill has tripled since she moved in.

No, seriously, it gets so ridiculous that she'll be sleeping in a shirt and pants and complain that it's too cold and go for an extra blanket. Meanwhile, I'm in just boxers with most of the blankets off and absolutely roasting, to the point where I need to keep an extra pillow by the side of the bed so that it doesn't get so hot that my head starts sweating. I have no idea how it is possible to feel cold so often and in such ridiculous situations.

MasterOfPuppets
03-16-2009, 03:54 PM
5 .....for some reason they NEVER like your girlfriend.....:chuckle:

Hammer67
03-16-2009, 04:14 PM
3) Having to negotiate the TV viewing... Before, if it was a show that involved things blowing up, mobs, or giant monsters stomping the shit out of things then I was tuned in. Now I have to watch some of the things that she wants to watch...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

That's how I justified DVR in the bedroom and a new 1080p tv. :wink02:

KeiselPower99
03-16-2009, 04:29 PM
At least I know Im not alone with marriage issues. I love music and being cds. I cant remember a time I didnt go to the cd store and didnt pick up 3 cds. Now if I mention wanting to stop there I get the look. All married men know that look.

SCSTILLER
03-16-2009, 04:38 PM
Great, thanks for starting this thread Hammer! I am getting married in October and now you guys are starting to worry me a bit. At least by reading this thread I will not walk blind into the things you are explaining.

And Keisel, I am not married yet and I already know that look. If we go into my buddies bike store and I see something new and shiney in there, she gives me that look and gets me the hell out of there.

MACH1
03-16-2009, 04:40 PM
Great, thanks for starting this thread Hammer! I am getting married in October and now you guys are starting to worry me a bit. At least by reading this thread I will not walk blind into the things you are explaining.

And Keisel, I am not married yet and I already know that look. If we go into my buddies bike store and I see something new and shiney in there, she gives me that look and gets me the hell out of there.

http://dygytalworld.ehost-services139.com/forums/images/smilies/cat.gif:whip:

:chuckle:

Hammer67
03-16-2009, 04:48 PM
Great, thanks for starting this thread Hammer! I am getting married in October and now you guys are starting to worry me a bit. At least by reading this thread I will not walk blind into the things you are explaining.

And Keisel, I am not married yet and I already know that look. If we go into my buddies bike store and I see something new and shiney in there, she gives me that look and gets me the hell out of there.


Enjoy the sex the first year. It's all downhill from there buddy! :laughing:

Marriage is great, but if you are someone who is extremely independent (I was) then it will be hard to transition some aspects of life.

For instance, I value "me" time...I like to decompress and play a video game or browse the Internet when I get home for about an hour to unwind from a stressful day. I don't want to talk about the day I just had right away. But, women do. SO, finding that "me" time without making them feel unwanted is a learned skill.

It took a while for my wife to realize that we both don't have to sit in the living room and watch the same TV shows at night...it's OK to have some separate interests!!!

Also...never abandon your buddies. I have some friends who disappeared once they got married...never allowed to go out again. My wife and I have girls or guys nights out, and even weekends away. My college buddies and I went to the Rose Bowl this year, for instance.

Dino 6 Rings
03-16-2009, 04:52 PM
Well, I like being Married. We made an arrangement with the TV, first off, NO TV IN THE BEDROOM! Not allowed. Bottom line. The Bedroom is for 2 things, sleeping and sleeping in.

I do find that being married is tougher in that I have to do a lot more things around the house that I'm not good at. Like fixing Electrical things, like putting in a new switch or even a new Ceiling fan (My latest project) I hate electricity. But Plumbing...Oh God, now I have to work on Plumbing, and let me tell you one thing, no matter what you're doing, be it fixing the Garbage Disposal or putting in some new pipes or Faucet heads, you are going to get WET, really really wet. No matter what you do, you will be WET. I hate plumbing. Also yard work, Mowing the lawn, clearing trees after an Ice Storm, Chopping wood, weed eating (which I try not to ever do cause it sux). Also, the kids, when your married and a dad, you get double hit with it, you have to tell the girls how pretty they are and build their confidence no matter how much they hate you that day (which little girls turn faster than Reagan in the Exorcist) Sleep overs, with other little girls running around screaching and screaming and yelling and AHHHHHHH! Its gets to you.

So for the guy who says he's getting married soon, first off, Have your own space, be it an office, a garage, a tool shed, somewhere where you can go, once in a while and either watch that Hockey Game your wife has zero interest in, or build a bird house, or just drill holes into a piece of wood that spell out the words (I Love her) you'll do ok.

Also, another Married Rule...Her car must ALWAYS be better than your car. You're a dude, you can walk 20 miles in the rain with sandels and a pair of shorts on with 20 mile an hour winds...she must never Break Down, EVER. its your job to keep her safe and that means, her method of transportation must be better than yours. That's a Rule. Right it down.

Hammer67
03-16-2009, 04:56 PM
Ah..words of wisdom. Yes, I must say that I also love being married. The pros far outweigh any cons. But there are always some quirks, and, a live in girlfriend IS NOT THE SAME as being married. I can't explain it...but it isn't...it's totally different.

Dino 6 Rings
03-16-2009, 05:00 PM
Also, we split the TV Time. I get the Remote for all Pittsburgh Related FOOTBALL items. However once Football Season is over, I hand it over. We have a few shows we watch together that we both enjoy, but there is something about her love of Reality TV that just eats at my guts as I sit through it. I guess that's how she feels when I'm watching USC vs Oregon State on a Thursday Night. "This game is who? what? Do you even like either team?" Nope, but its a great team, its the number 1 team vs a Rival they can't beat on their field! "Yeah, and I care why?" Right Honey...I'll watch it in my office.

I can't wait to get the Remote back in August. Although, I kind of enjoy Project Runway....YEAH I SAID IT! WHO Wants to say something about it HUH! I'm RIGHT HERE! :mad: :wantsome:

MACH1
03-16-2009, 05:00 PM
Ah..words of wisdom. Yes, I must say that I also love being married. The pros far outweigh any cons. But there are always some quirks, and, a live in girlfriend IS NOT THE SAME as being married. I can't explain it...but it isn't...it's totally different.

Yep...50% of everything you own walks out the door with her if she ever leaves. :flap:

Hammer67
03-16-2009, 05:02 PM
Also, we split the TV Time. I get the Remote for all Pittsburgh Related FOOTBALL items. However once Football is over, I hand it over. We have a few shows we watch together that we both enjoy, but there is something about her love of Reality TV that just eats at my guts as I sit through it. I guess that's how she feels when I'm watching USC vs Oregon State on a Thursday Night. "This game is who? what? Do you even like either team?" Nope, but its a great team, its the number 1 team vs a Rival they can't beat on their field! "Yeah, and I care why?" Right Honey...I'll watch it in my office.

Dude, you need DVR! Problem solved!

Dino 6 Rings
03-16-2009, 05:03 PM
Dude, you need DVR! Problem solved!

No, really that's why I have my office. If I really want to watch something...like Duke vs FSU this weekend, I'll go in there and watch it.

SteelCityMom
03-16-2009, 05:37 PM
Ok, time for a chick to weigh in here lol.

While I'm not married just yet, we have been engaged for 2 years and living together for almost 4. There are definitely things that get on my nerves already that I thought were cute and quirky when we were just dating.

1) Must every guy lick their fingers when their done eating a meal. Isn't that what napkins and soap and water are for?
2) (Kind of goes with 1) Do you really have to eat every meal like it is the first and last thing you're ever going to eat? SLOW DOWN! Chew your food and swallow before shoving the next huge bite into your mouth!
3) I'm an easy going gal, I like to think I give my fiance enough space (i.e. he gets to go out and browse and shop for whatever he wants whenever, I'll leave the room if he's watching something I don't want to watch, and I like my personal space in general so I try not to crowd), but is it really necessary to spend a half hour on the toilet? It takes me 5 minutes or less to "do my business"...what's up with that?
4) Sports...I love hockey and football, but while my fiance likes watching hockey and football games with me, I get the glazed over look if I try to talk about the game afterwards. In his defense I get the same way when he goes on about music and the band sometimes, but I get chastised for it where I'll typically let it go when he does it. Sigh.
5) Eye rolls anytime I ask him to do the dishes or walk the dog or...god forbid...do his own laundry once in a while.

There's more, but I'll stop here (for now). I love him and we get along great and I know there's stupid things I do that annoy him, but just felt a girls opinion needed to be voiced here lol.

Hammer67
03-16-2009, 05:53 PM
Keep in mind that all that stuff amplifies when you get married...take heed. And, BTW, taking a nice long duece is a perfect escape from the dog, wife, kid, life....a time to relax, read and think.

SteelCityMom
03-16-2009, 06:35 PM
Keep in mind that all that stuff amplifies when you get married...take heed. And, BTW, taking a nice long duece is a perfect escape from the dog, wife, kid, life....a time to relax, read and think.

Haha, I guess it's time for me to start taking 30 minute craps then! I bet if I did either my daughter or him would start banging on the door for something or other though. I'm going to try this experiment soon, see where it goes lol.

We might as well be married, we've been meaning to for a little over a year now, just haven't had the funds to. I'm about ready to just go to the court house and get the paperwork and just spend the money on a nice vacation (honeymoon) for us, I know that's what we'd both appreciate more. I've really only been holding out for having a ceremony for family members, they'll just have to deal though, unless they want to pay for it lol.

MACH1
03-16-2009, 08:20 PM
Why is it the only time they want to "talk" is in the middle of a game? Then they think your ignoring them. :doh:

:laughing:

devilsdancefloor
03-16-2009, 08:43 PM
Ok, time for a chick to weigh in here lol.

While I'm not married just yet, we have been engaged for 2 years and living together for almost 4. There are definitely things that get on my nerves already that I thought were cute and quirky when we were just dating.

1) Must every guy lick their fingers when their done eating a meal. Isn't that what napkins and soap and water are for?
2) (Kind of goes with 1) Do you really have to eat every meal like it is the first and last thing you're ever going to eat? SLOW DOWN! Chew your food and swallow before shoving the next huge bite into your mouth!
3) I'm an easy going gal, I like to think I give my fiance enough space (i.e. he gets to go out and browse and shop for whatever he wants whenever, I'll leave the room if he's watching something I don't want to watch, and I like my personal space in general so I try not to crowd), but is it really necessary to spend a half hour on the toilet? It takes me 5 minutes or less to "do my business"...what's up with that?
4) Sports...I love hockey and football, but while my fiance likes watching hockey and football games with me, I get the glazed over look if I try to talk about the game afterwards. In his defense I get the same way when he goes on about music and the band sometimes, but I get chastised for it where I'll typically let it go when he does it. Sigh.
5) Eye rolls anytime I ask him to do the dishes or walk the dog or...god forbid...do his own laundry once in a while.

There's more, but I'll stop here (for now). I love him and we get along great and I know there's stupid things I do that annoy him, but just felt a girls opinion needed to be voiced here lol.


answers (ya i hear ya already say yeah riiiiggggghhhhhtttt!:wave:)

1. you have to eat it all it is a man law and there is some on your fingers lick away (doesnt that turn chicks on?:wink02:).

2. Being married and asked to do plumbing, yard work and ELECTRICAL work it might be your last meal so you gotta enjoy it!!

3. if he is spending a half hour on the toilet time to buy some fiber pills or prunce juice!

4. my wifey is a cryboys & stars fan and when i go on about the steelers or blackhawks game i get teh SIGH and if i dont stop look .

5. Eye rolling is not allowed that is a 5 min major in my house.

KeiselPower99
03-16-2009, 10:50 PM
Why is it the only time they want to "talk" is in the middle of a game? Then they think your ignoring them. :doh:

:laughing:

Only time mine talks is when she is yelling at me. And by the way why is it whenever you take them out to eat and you ask them where they wanna go and they reply i dont care wherever?? That annoys the piss out of me. You pull in somewhere and they are like I dont wanna go here. Cuts through me like a hot knife in butter.

SteelCityMom
03-16-2009, 11:18 PM
Only time mine talks is when she is yelling at me. And by the way why is it whenever you take them out to eat and you ask them where they wanna go and they reply i dont care wherever?? That annoys the piss out of me. You pull in somewhere and they are like I dont wanna go here. Cuts through me like a hot knife in butter.

I'm definitely guilty of this one a lot, and I know it annoys him. But I really mean it, I'm not a picky eater at all (and he is) so unless I'm really craving something specific I'd much rather him choose where he wants to go and just pick something I want from there. I get tired of having to explain this anytime we go grocery shopping or out to eat...I tell you, it's tough to plan meals around a picky eater who's also indecisive lol.

tony hipchest
03-16-2009, 11:39 PM
I'm definitely guilty of this one a lot, and I know it annoys him. But I really mean it, I'm not a picky eater at all (and he is) so unless I'm really craving something specific I'd much rather him choose where he wants to go and just pick something I want from there.i hate this one.

i'll eat the ass out of a skunk.... or a skunk out of an ass.

why is it whenever i am given the choice it is always the WRONG ONE?

i guess thats why i do all the cooking. i always get good food and nobody can complain because i am the one putting in all the effort.

MACH1
03-17-2009, 12:06 AM
1. you have to eat it all it is a man law and there is some on your fingers lick away (doesnt that turn chicks on?:wink02:).

I thought that was only when ya lick can your eyebrows. :chuckle:

hindes204
03-17-2009, 04:05 AM
This thread is funny as hell...only because i feel your guys pain. i am also married, and i dream of the great things i could buy if i wasnt. dont get me wrong, i love my wife, but somewhere along the line, my money turned into "family funds"....throw in two step kids (teenagers), and the money just seems to dissapear, and its definately not going towards things i want...but, marriage is a constant compromise.

And what is it with women never admitting they are wrong. When im wrong, i admit it, i apologize, and she stays mad for days....when shes wrong, she doesnt admit it, doesnt apologize, AND THEN GETS MAD AT ME FOR DAYS (i dont know why either)

The restaraunt thing...makes me want to rip my (&*(^&*%^ hair out....she says she doesnt care, and regaurdless of where i pick, ITs WRONG.

And another thing...why cant we have sex...its fun, were married, you used to enjoy it prior to marriage.....i think women are insane...seriously


AND DO YOU REALLY NEED A $200 HAIRCUT!!!!!!!!!!!


Oh yeah, just to re-itterate...I love my wife


i think im done.....i could go on but i will just go nuts

xfl2001fan
03-17-2009, 04:56 AM
I can't complain about a lack of sex...there's not a shortage there. The only thing that prevents us from having sex is late in her pregnancies. (We're on kid number 6 right now...so it's tailed of some in the last month).

The key to great marriages is focused communication. Slow down your delivery...because it seems that men and women speak semi-different versions of the same language.

I agree about the restaurants thing. I will find something to eat no matter where we go. My pet peeve with my wife is when we have to go somewhere that I've never been before. I have no problem with asking for directions...and Yahoo! Maps is a great lil feature on the internet. I'll use them. So if you tell me you know where you're going, I might sometimes avoid that route and just go with it. However, don't wait until I'm driving through the cross walk to tell me I have to turn left or right. GRRRR

Also, if you have to think of men and women as animals...think of men like dogs and women like cats.

Dogs - Easy to train, a little likely to go astray if left alone, obliviously happy even after they've been scolded if you show them just a little bit of attention. Will eat nearly anything. Willing to forgive and forget nearly anything.

Cats - Can be trained, but it may not be worth the scratches. (My wife is "trained" and it was worth it to me.) While they may forgive, they never forget...and even their forgiveness has to be looked at closely. They determine whether they want your attention or not...but if you slip up in the slightest about giving them the attention they want when (and how) they want it...look out. Can be amongst the most finicky eaters out there.

stlrtruck
03-17-2009, 06:26 AM
Here's a few arrangements my wife and I made prior to our marriage:

1) I wore a kilt at my wedding
2) I was getting a child
3) She does the yard work
4) I clean the house
5) She cooks (well I might add)
6) I do the dishes (unless I get the kids to do it)
7) I take care of THE PRINCESS 90% of the time

Now here are the things that were never mentioned:

1) She gets to change her mind up to the very last second and possibly while already having previous plans in action
2) She (thinks) gets to tell me what to do and how to do it
3) I have to make my mind up on things pretty much instantly, she gets as much time as she needs even if it means we miss something
4) I'm required to sit down and watch chick flicks but it's ok for her to NOT watch football -specifically STEELERS FOOTBALL.
5) I'm suppose to help in the yard and watch the kid at the same time (has anyone figured out how to watch a kid from around the corner).

Dino 6 Rings
03-17-2009, 06:59 AM
(has anyone figured out how to watch a kid from around the corner).


Yes in fact. Buy a Doberman, female. They act like mother hens with children and bark at them if they try to leave the yard and even heard them back to the house.

X-Terminator
03-17-2009, 07:30 AM
Well, these are all sound reasons to never, ever get married. I like my independence, thank you very much! :wink02:

HometownGal
03-17-2009, 08:00 AM
For instance, I value "me" time...I like to decompress and play a video game or browse the Internet when I get home for about an hour to unwind from a stressful day. I don't want to talk about the day I just had right away. But, women do. SO, finding that "me" time without making them feel unwanted is a learned skill.

It took a while for my wife to realize that we both don't have to sit in the living room and watch the same TV shows at night...it's OK to have some separate interests!!!

Also...never abandon your buddies. I have some friends who disappeared once they got married...never allowed to go out again. My wife and I have girls or guys nights out, and even weekends away. My college buddies and I went to the Rose Bowl this year, for instance.

ME time is an absolute MUST!!!! I never minded my ex going out with his friends or away on a fishing or hunting expedition and he didn't mind me going away on trips with my friends. Though two married people join together as one on their wedding day, I think it is very important for both people to maintain some degree of their "individuality". :thumbsup:

As far as one partner taking issue with the other wanting to buy a toy or gadget that the other doesn't necessarily "approve of" - if you have the means to do it without putting a financial strain on the household, I see no problem with it. On the other hand, however, if my guy wants to buy gazillions of tools that are going to sit in the garage and never be used and I want to buy another 4 pairs of shoes to go along with the other 200+ pairs in my closet, I shouldn't get the hairy eyeball either. :chuckle:

Compromise is the key to any successful marriage/relationship. :drink:

HometownGal
03-17-2009, 08:05 AM
1) Must every guy lick their fingers when their done eating a meal. Isn't that what napkins and soap and water are for?
2) (Kind of goes with 1) Do you really have to eat every meal like it is the first and last thing you're ever going to eat? SLOW DOWN! Chew your food and swallow before shoving the next huge bite into your mouth!


AMEN sister!!! :banana:

3) (Goes with #1 and #2 above) -
Don't chew with your mouth open and want to chat when you're eating. I really don't want your half-chewed food on the side of my face, in my hair or on my clothes. I guess I could buy a splatter screen, but it wouldn't be used for the purpose for which it was purchased. :rollpin: :chuckle:

stlrtruck
03-17-2009, 08:14 AM
Well, these are all sound reasons to never, ever get married. I like my independence, thank you very much! :wink02:

As much as I enjoyed my independence and at times my marriage is a struggle, I wouldn't give up this love for anything in the world.

It's similar to hitting that perfect golf shot. You know you've been struggling all day to get it right and when you do, you get the urge get back at it again. Now women of the forum please don't come hunting me down, I know you're not a golf shot! :hug:

Hammer67
03-17-2009, 01:06 PM
As much as I enjoyed my independence and at times my marriage is a struggle, I wouldn't give up this love for anything in the world.

It's similar to hitting that perfect golf shot. You know you've been struggling all day to get it right and when you do, you get the urge get back at it again. Now women of the forum please don't come hunting me down, I know you're not a golf shot! :hug:

It's true. I said in the OP that I love being married and any minor cons are outweighed by all the pros, by far.

It's just fun to point out the little things that no one lets on about ahead of time. It's funny how that wedding day totally changes the relationship, most things for the good, some for the bad.

AllD
03-17-2009, 04:03 PM
Over 50% of the time, it's for the bad from the husband's perspective.

kittenfantastico76
03-17-2009, 04:41 PM
So I won't go into the reasons I love being married. There are a lot of them, but I have a few annoying issues that, while not dealbreakers by any means, are things I could do without.

1) Being able to spend money on things without getting a second opinion or even outright disagreement. For example. I am a techy guy. I love home theater and work in IT. So, my vices are TV's, speakers, computers and related components. I have finally, in my life, found a great career with great pay (she can now stay home and raise the kids). And, I can now afford some of the toys that I always dreamed of buying. But, BUT, now, I get hell whenever I want to get any gizmo over $100. It isn't like I blow money out the window all the time, we are debt free, socking money away, etc. Damn I hate being held accountable anytime I want to upgrade something as if I should feel guilty every time I want something. I think about my single days when I would wake up and just wonder what the heck I wanted to do or buy.

2) Laundry. Why did my laundry quadruple when I got married? :noidea:


:twocents:


Your wife would probably murder me for saying this but ... if you're the bread winner, and all your bread is going to making sure things are paid, and they are paid, you're not in debt AND you're currently saving money you SHOULD be able to reward yourself with a job well done/money saved yada yada yada... seriously... you can't take this stuff with you - it's best to enjoy things.

Now granted the economy isn't the best right now, but if you've got money to live on at least for a few months if God forbid you lost your job... YOU SHOULD be able to treat yourself.

:twocents:

xfl2001fan
03-17-2009, 04:41 PM
Over 50% of the time, it's for the bad from the husband's perspective.

Really? Is it? Or is it just those who are vociferous about their complaints? You know, the loud voice in the crowd trying to represent the majority.

There are some things that we (as guys) don't like...just like there are some things that women don't like. That's just a fact of life. It's what happens when you have two very different creatures try to come together for the rest of their lives. The quirks get noticed more...and the view points change some of those quirks.

I don't remember where I saw/heard/read it, but there are two very specific rules that apply when talking about relationships (in a very general sort of way.)

Guys go into a relationship with a woman liking her as she is and hoping she'll never change. She always does.

Women go into a relationship liking what they think the man can be and hoping he will change. He never does.

It's not 100% infalliable, but knowing those two rules (and avoiding those specific expectations) will go a long ways towards enhancing future conversations and allowing for constant improvements on your relationships.

xfl2001fan
03-17-2009, 04:44 PM
Your wife would probably murder me for saying this but ... if you're the bread winner, and all your bread is going to making sure things are paid, and they are paid, you're not in debt AND you're currently saving money you SHOULD be able to reward yourself with a job well done/money saved yada yada yada... seriously... you can't take this stuff with you - it's best to enjoy things.

Now granted the economy isn't the best right now, but if you've got money to live on at least for a few months if God forbid you lost your job... YOU SHOULD be able to treat yourself.

:twocents:

Here's the thing, buying things...helps the economy. It's when we decide to quit buying that we have issues...because as demand goes, so does supply...and when supply goes, jobs go with it. It's a vicious little cycle. Whether his wife likes that or not is nearly irrelevant. I say nearly...because it seems as if many women feel they can determine relevance on their own...and be d@mned what anybody else (especially a man) thinks.

kittenfantastico76
03-17-2009, 04:46 PM
Enjoy the sex the first year. It's all downhill from there buddy! :laughing:

Marriage is great, but if you are someone who is extremely independent (I was) then it will be hard to transition some aspects of life.

For instance, I value "me" time...I like to decompress and play a video game or browse the Internet when I get home for about an hour to unwind from a stressful day. I don't want to talk about the day I just had right away. But, women do. SO, finding that "me" time without making them feel unwanted is a learned skill.

It took a while for my wife to realize that we both don't have to sit in the living room and watch the same TV shows at night...it's OK to have some separate interests!!!

Also...never abandon your buddies. I have some friends who disappeared once they got married...never allowed to go out again. My wife and I have girls or guys nights out, and even weekends away. My college buddies and I went to the Rose Bowl this year, for instance.


I'm not married [yet], but this is a great point to make. For the most part my boyfriend and I do a ton together - but we're free to do girl and guy night if we'd like to. We also do our own things around the house... for starters I know that Monday nights are usually WWE RAW night, the TV is all his... I do other things around the house... Thursday nights we love the same show... makes it easy on us. I can't imagine if we wanted to watch the same stuff all the time... I know it drives him nuts when I want to come home and watch my DVR episodes of Rachel Ray, but he compromises because he knows an hour or so from them when I'm cooking dinner - he's got plenty of time to blow up zombies or whatever else he wants to do with the xbox...

It's all about doing your own thing, as well as bring that into the relationship definitely!!!

P.S. your comment about two tvs is so true - especially upgrading in the bedroom... at first I thought we don't need another flat screen tv in the other room... that's just too much... the other night I didn't want to play online or do other stuff I wanted to watch TV (RAW or SMACKDOWN was on, TV is his)... I found myself desiring a flat screen with HD in the bedroom for the first time... it's so going to happen... I know it... blerg!

kittenfantastico76
03-17-2009, 04:49 PM
Here's the thing, buying things...helps the economy. It's when we decide to quit buying that we have issues...because as demand goes, so does supply...and when supply goes, jobs go with it. It's a vicious little cycle. Whether his wife likes that or not is nearly irrelevant. I say nearly...because it seems as if many women feel they can determine relevance on their own...and be d@mned what anybody else (especially a man) thinks.

True on the economy part - I should have said more ... explained more... my only fear with the economy is if I buy a bunch of crap I don't have the cash for now... (or even if I do)... what if I lose my job then I have nothing in the bank etc...

He's taken care of all that so a little bit of spoiling himself... is in order. :)

Trust me... I want to spend, spend, spend but the truth is, I need to know I'll have a job to deal with bills etc if the worst should happen... (trust me I'm still drooling over electronic stuff we want for the house, furniture, as well as basically purchasing our first home... but... the fear of not having a job in 3 months or whenever is stopping me right now).

I guess I'm playing it safe. :)

Dino 6 Rings
03-17-2009, 04:49 PM
My wife and I have a pretty good handle on things together, I think its because her previous husband (yeah, we are each other's seconds) put it all on her to take care of and I took that burden off her. We discuss ever single large purchase, and we plan out our finances for things like braces, trips, new roof, new furniture. We have it laid out pretty well and it really works out nice.

She was really big on me having a "Man Cave" which is my office, as long as I keep up with my Man Duties, like the lawn, fixing things, once in a while I cook, I do the dishes often, help with the laundry, we work as a Team more than as 2 individuals living together. Team work, when one person wins, the whole team wins.

Might sound lame, but I love it. especially after I've had too much sugar and she's too tired to fight me off...yeah...come her baby...daddy's got something for ya!!!!

Oh wait...what was I saying...right...There are plenty of cons to marriage...but it always works out as long as you talk it over and have a plan of attack...like if she isn't looking and is bending over to pick something up and you come up behind her and pounce...attack!

I mean working together...as a team...to be sure the family is safe, the family is secure and that life is going the way you both have a vision of it....like the vision of her in the morning on a saturday as the light is coming in through the window and you are all anxious cause its morning and you have that I need to get some feeling......woooh...what was I saying...right Vision.

kittenfantastico76
03-17-2009, 04:50 PM
Ah..words of wisdom. Yes, I must say that I also love being married. The pros far outweigh any cons. But there are always some quirks, and, a live in girlfriend IS NOT THE SAME as being married. I can't explain it...but it isn't...it's totally different.


That bit of paper apparently carries some heavy weight. ;)

kittenfantastico76
03-17-2009, 04:53 PM
Ok, time for a chick to weigh in here lol.

While I'm not married just yet, we have been engaged for 2 years and living together for almost 4. There are definitely things that get on my nerves already that I thought were cute and quirky when we were just dating.

2) (Kind of goes with 1) Do you really have to eat every meal like it is the first and last thing you're ever going to eat? SLOW DOWN! Chew your food and swallow before shoving the next huge bite into your mouth!


There's more, but I'll stop here (for now). I love him and we get along great and I know there's stupid things I do that annoy him, but just felt a girls opinion needed to be voiced here lol.

Your number 2 was the first thing I noticed about my boyfriend when we started dating... then I realized, if it's good food, obviously you eat faster and if you come from a home with 4-5 kids under one roof at a time, you learn to eat fast to get your share! :laughing:

NJarhead
03-17-2009, 05:54 PM
This thread is screaming for some humor (aside from that which has already been posted).

The Devoted Husband:

A man and his ever nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem . While they were there the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband "You can have her shipped home for $5 000 or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150".

The man thought about it and told him he would have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked "Why would you spend $5 000 to ship your wife home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would only spend $150?"

The man replied "Long ago a man died here, was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance".

For the record, I can't think of a single complaint worth noting. What I mean by that is; she probably has more to gripe about than I do, so I will keep my yap shut. :chuckle:

X-Terminator
03-17-2009, 10:04 PM
As much as I enjoyed my independence and at times my marriage is a struggle, I wouldn't give up this love for anything in the world.

It's similar to hitting that perfect golf shot. You know you've been struggling all day to get it right and when you do, you get the urge get back at it again. Now women of the forum please don't come hunting me down, I know you're not a golf shot! :hug:

That's great that you've found someone to love and spend the rest of your life with, and believe me, I do not sweat anyone who has. But given what I've been through, what I've seen in other relationships of those close to me, and the way a lot of women are these days...I'd just rather not deal with it. Do I have bouts of loneliness at times? Sure. But they last about 5 minutes before I come to my senses. I have enough stress in my life as it is without an additional ball and chain dragging me down. I know I sound cynical, but it's just the way I feel, and I don't see it changing any time soon.

xfl2001fan
03-18-2009, 05:17 AM
That's great that you've found someone to love and spend the rest of your life with, and believe me, I do not sweat anyone who has. But given what I've been through, what I've seen in other relationships of those close to me, and the way a lot of women are these days...I'd just rather not deal with it. Do I have bouts of loneliness at times? Sure. But they last about 5 minutes before I come to my senses. I have enough stress in my life as it is without an additional ball and chain dragging me down. I know I sound cynical, but it's just the way I feel, and I don't see it changing any time soon.

Here's the thing, we can all only do what we feel is best for us. I am happily married with lots of kids. That works for me. My next youngest brother isn't dating and vows to never have kids. That works for everybody! :chuckle:

Nobody should ever tell you that you need to be dating/married/have kids as those are life choices...and until they've walked a mile in your shoes, they shouldn't bother judging you.

Hammer67
03-18-2009, 06:34 AM
That's great that you've found someone to love and spend the rest of your life with, and believe me, I do not sweat anyone who has. But given what I've been through, what I've seen in other relationships of those close to me, and the way a lot of women are these days...I'd just rather not deal with it. Do I have bouts of loneliness at times? Sure. But they last about 5 minutes before I come to my senses. I have enough stress in my life as it is without an additional ball and chain dragging me down. I know I sound cynical, but it's just the way I feel, and I don't see it changing any time soon.


I found myself where you are at about 6 or 7 years ago. I thought people in their 20's and 30's were just too selfish to get married, people quit relationships too easily, and that my "nice guy" deal wouldn't get me far in this world.

It all changed in one day, my friend, without even looking. :wink02:

Hammer67
03-18-2009, 06:37 AM
That bit of paper apparently carries some heavy weight. ;)

It's more like the big rock on her hand. :chuckle:

Getting married definitley changes things. It's a business agreement. (otherwise, just live together, right?). Now you share everything. No longer is it "my" computer, or "her" couch. It's "ours."

And when you start joint financial planning and merge accounts, it's even more so.

trauben
03-18-2009, 09:50 AM
Thank you for reminding me why it's good to be single! :)

Hammer67
03-18-2009, 12:24 PM
Thank you for reminding me why it's good to be single! :)

Actually...I hated single life. I love being married, minor issues aside.

stlrtruck
03-18-2009, 01:05 PM
That's great that you've found someone to love and spend the rest of your life with, and believe me, I do not sweat anyone who has. But given what I've been through, what I've seen in other relationships of those close to me, and the way a lot of women are these days...I'd just rather not deal with it. Do I have bouts of loneliness at times? Sure. But they last about 5 minutes before I come to my senses. I have enough stress in my life as it is without an additional ball and chain dragging me down. I know I sound cynical, but it's just the way I feel, and I don't see it changing any time soon.

And I'm glad you are just as happy single as I am married. And I understand your point of view. In my younger days I've seen some things (let alone been involved in some things) married people ought not do.

As for how women are these days, just remember they usually say the same thing about men. What it really takes is two people willing to sacrifice themselves for the betterment of the other - otherwise, there is no reason to be married.

MasterOfPuppets
03-18-2009, 01:13 PM
The latest statistics claim roughly 60% of marriages end in divorce. Second or third marriages have only about 20% of couples remaining happily married. A full eighty percent of repeat marriages end in divorce. Over one million children watch their parents divorce each year, and half of the babies born this year will suffer through the divorce of their parents before they turn 18. While divorce is often necessary, there is no denying rising divorce rates signal societal issues. :wave:...... :doh:

PisnNapalm
03-18-2009, 03:48 PM
4) For some reason, women are ALWAYS cold. Even if it's 80 degrees in the house and they're in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, as long as they're inside and the heater is running, they're cold. Before, I had no problem just leaving the heater at 60; I could walk around in shorts and a T-shirt and it didn't bother me at all. The other day, I actually found myself in the absurd position of having to argue that 76 degrees was a little higher than is typically reasonable to be setting the thermostat, especially since our gas bill has tripled since she moved in.

No, seriously, it gets so ridiculous that she'll be sleeping in a shirt and pants and complain that it's too cold and go for an extra blanket. Meanwhile, I'm in just boxers with most of the blankets off and absolutely roasting, to the point where I need to keep an extra pillow by the side of the bed so that it doesn't get so hot that my head starts sweating. I have no idea how it is possible to feel cold so often and in such ridiculous situations.

I could be 85 degrees in the house and my wife will still sit there with a blanket over herself. Drives me nucking futs in the winter.

kittenfantastico76
03-18-2009, 04:57 PM
It's more like the big rock on her hand. :chuckle:

Getting married definitley changes things. It's a business agreement. (otherwise, just live together, right?). Now you share everything. No longer is it "my" computer, or "her" couch. It's "ours."

And when you start joint financial planning and merge accounts, it's even more so.

ZING!!! Yeah you definitely can't think for yourself only once married. That's for sure. I have a few friends who are learning this after tying the knot... I'm happy to be the last of my friends - I get teased about it... teased that I'll be old and gray before I get married, but in the end I'm glad I have waited. Especially after being engaged once before... wow if I married that schmuck I'd be SO unhappy!

trauben
03-19-2009, 08:56 AM
Actually...I hated single life. I love being married, minor issues aside.
I'm divorced and single. Are you? If not, then you're not referring to the "single life" I am. If you're still in a working marriage then "good for you", :thumbsup: --- however I am referring to the single state I'm in following a divorce. BIG DIFFERENCE! It's called 20/20 hindsight these days and much wisdom!

Reasons why I like it:
1. I'm responsible for my own expenses and budget. There's nobody buying stuff I can't account for until it's too late and impacting incoming utility/mortgage bills. Also I get to budget fun stuff for my Steelers/Pens room without hearing whining complaints that it's "babyish" in nature!

2. I can be spontaneous and change my plans at the drop of a hat (like when Steelers or Pens tickets fall into my lap and I can just get up and go without asking for "permission")!!!!!

3. There's no one complaining about things I like to do or don't like to do.

Let me say this, life post-divorce has been an extremely stress-free life style! I don't know if I'd ever walk that green mile again. It would take a damned good man to make me consider putting another ball and chain around my ankle (or ring finger)! :wink02:

xfl2001fan
03-19-2009, 09:54 AM
I'm divorced and single. Are you? If not, then you're not referring to the "single life" I am. If you're still in a working marriage then "good for you", :thumbsup: --- however I am referring to the single state I'm in following a divorce. BIG DIFFERENCE! It's called 20/20 hindsight these days and much wisdom!

Reasons why I like it:
1. I'm responsible for my own expenses and budget. There's nobody buying stuff I can't account for until it's too late and impacting incoming utility/mortgage bills. Also I get to budget fun stuff for my Steelers/Pens room without hearing whining complaints that it's "babyish" in nature!

2. I can be spontaneous and change my plans at the drop of a hat (like when Steelers or Pens tickets fall into my lap and I can just get up and go without asking for "permission")!!!!!

3. There's no one complaining about things I like to do or don't like to do.

Let me say this, life post-divorce has been an extremely stress-free life style! I don't know if I'd ever walk that green mile again. It would take a damned good man to make me consider putting another ball and chain around my ankle (or ring finger)! :wink02:

I had a practice marriage. It was terrible. I rushed into it...she cheated on me...I had to move on. I was enjoying certain aspects of my (then) single life...but it didn't really work for me. You do bring up some valid points about the upside to being single. The lack of additional accountability/responsibility is a relief in and of itself.

As I have stated previously, it really comes down to what works best for the individual. My brother and I are complete opposites when it comes to relationships (and the personalities/viewpoints that come with it.)

Despite the responsibilities/accountability and some of the sacrifices that come with being married and having 5 (soon to be 6) kids, coming home from a hard days work and having my kids get all excited at seeing me is worth it all. I love getting bum rushed by my kids. Having my 4 year old daughter and 3 year old son grab my fingers as they tug me along to some "adventure" or to help them with a particularly "difficult" stage of some various video game.

If that's not your thing, there's nothing wrong with you. For us "family" types, there's nothing wrong with us either. It's just a difference in personality. I'm glad that you're different from my wife.

Tulips are no more beautiful than roses are...and I wouldn't want to look at just one or the either. Wild flowers are just as beautiful (in their own way.) If the world was filled with only one kind of flower (or one kind of human personality) it would be a very very dull place indeed.

Hammer67
03-19-2009, 11:29 AM
I'm divorced and single. Are you? If not, then you're not referring to the "single life" I am. If you're still in a working marriage then "good for you", :thumbsup: --- however I am referring to the single state I'm in following a divorce. BIG DIFFERENCE! It's called 20/20 hindsight these days and much wisdom!

Reasons why I like it:
1. I'm responsible for my own expenses and budget. There's nobody buying stuff I can't account for until it's too late and impacting incoming utility/mortgage bills. Also I get to budget fun stuff for my Steelers/Pens room without hearing whining complaints that it's "babyish" in nature!

2. I can be spontaneous and change my plans at the drop of a hat (like when Steelers or Pens tickets fall into my lap and I can just get up and go without asking for "permission")!!!!!

3. There's no one complaining about things I like to do or don't like to do.

Let me say this, life post-divorce has been an extremely stress-free life style! I don't know if I'd ever walk that green mile again. It would take a damned good man to make me consider putting another ball and chain around my ankle (or ring finger)! :wink02:

One of my best friends was just where you are now...he had a HORRIBLE first marriage and his wife ended up being bi-polar. She was psycho...he couldn't go out, couldn't hang with friends, and he had sex about once a year. He tried everything, counseling, family support, etc. Never cheated on her. Then the weight finally buckled and he got out. In fact, he didn't date until the papers were signed...then, it was GAME ON!

He lived the roaring single live for about 4 years...and had a BLAST. Then he met his current wife and they just got married...he said it is like night and day and that if he knew then what he knows now, he would have NEVER married the first wife.

Life is funny sometimes. I respect him mightily for doing everything he could to fix his first marriage and didn't just sleep around. Regardless of how she was, he respected the vows. Too many people in my generation just bail when they find a newer model to upgrade to. And when kids are involved, it's just a really bad situation.

trauben
03-19-2009, 01:35 PM
I had a practice marriage. It was terrible. I rushed into it...she cheated on me...I had to move on. I was enjoying certain aspects of my (then) single life...but it didn't really work for me. You do bring up some valid points about the upside to being single. The lack of additional accountability/responsibility is a relief in and of itself.

As I have stated previously, it really comes down to what works best for the individual. My brother and I are complete opposites when it comes to relationships (and the personalities/viewpoints that come with it.)

Despite the responsibilities/accountability and some of the sacrifices that come with being married and having 5 (soon to be 6) kids, coming home from a hard days work and having my kids get all excited at seeing me is worth it all. I love getting bum rushed by my kids. Having my 4 year old daughter and 3 year old son grab my fingers as they tug me along to some "adventure" or to help them with a particularly "difficult" stage of some various video game.

If that's not your thing, there's nothing wrong with you. For us "family" types, there's nothing wrong with us either. It's just a difference in personality. I'm glad that you're different from my wife.

Tulips are no more beautiful than roses are...and I wouldn't want to look at just one or the either. Wild flowers are just as beautiful (in their own way.) If the world was filled with only one kind of flower (or one kind of human personality) it would be a very very dull place indeed.
I'm a child from a family of nine. We'd attack my father when he'd get home, too (playing monster and hiding from him until he found us then we attacked), so I know of exactly what you're talking about! LOL! I always wanted that but I married the wrong guy. I did my best to make it work but some times things just aren't meant to be.

I only have one child and for now? She's my focus. I'll not confuse things for her in her formative years with dating and stuff. I get one crack at this parent thing and the "dating game" can wait if at all. So for now I'm enjoying things being manageable in my home. Its a stable environment with no additional pressures from unreasonable sources.

Maybe in time ........ maybe!

In the meantime the men in my life are my Steelers and Pens! Woo hoo! :tt02:

xfl2001fan
03-19-2009, 01:45 PM
I'm a child from a family of nine. We'd attack my father when he'd get home, too (playing monster and hiding from him until he found us then we attacked), so I know of exactly what you're talking about! LOL! I always wanted that but I married the wrong guy. I did my best to make it work but some times things just aren't meant to be.

I only have one child and for now? She's my focus. I'll not confuse things for her in her formative years with dating and stuff. I get one crack at this parent thing and the "dating game" can wait if at all. So for now I'm enjoying things being manageable in my home. Its a stable environment with no additional pressures from unreasonable sources.

Maybe in time ........ maybe!

In the meantime the men in my life are my Steelers and Pens! Woo hoo! :tt02:


Other than your choice of teams :flap: I can respect all of that. It's all about what works best in your life...and if parenting is your primary focus, then all the more kudos towards you. I think I might work with your twin, as one of my coworkers is pretty much in the same exact boat.

trauben
03-19-2009, 01:53 PM
Other than your choice of teams :flap:
Yeah, I know, it's tough being a fan of one reigning championship team and another team who made it to the last championship game as well (albeit a loss).

Not 'sorry' but I prefer teams of a winning nature! :rofl::chuckle: :drink:

stlrtruck
03-19-2009, 02:04 PM
In the meantime the men in my life are my Steelers and Pens! Woo hoo! :tt02:

And the few of us Black and Gold Faithful that pose no threat :toofunny: :thumbsup: :rofl: :hug: :drink:

And I give you mad props for putting your daughter first. I've seen a bunch of parents who do just the opposite and the child grows up, has children of their own, and has no idea what the hell do to except whatever they want!

I bet you are one helluva great mom!!!

msafford
03-19-2009, 02:52 PM
3) Having to negotiate the TV viewing... Before, if it was a show that involved things blowing up, mobs, or giant monsters stomping the shit out of things then I was tuned in. Now I have to watch some of the things that she wants to watch...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Amen brother. The significant other is a reality show junkie. I can only take so much of "Rock of Love" before I want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon.

SteelShooter
03-21-2009, 12:18 AM
And fishing! That is my escape. Why am I made to feel guilty for going out on the water for a day chasing Specks, reds, or saddle-bags........after I invited them and they refused????

I am/was one of those "independent" types as well. I completely understand and agree. It is one heck of an adjustment. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love spending time with my wife. Just this evening she came out in the yard and helped a little with laying some sod. But I need some time out on the Gulf without having to justify my existence, or to attempt to solve the worlds problems. I want and NEED to "exist," that's it....think of nothing other than working my lures and existing.
And the money I spend. I DO NOT spend 70-90 dollars on my haircut. Twelve bucks and I'm out the door. So please, please, do not bug me for purchasing a couple bags of Saltwater Assasins or an extra Yozuri.....and heaven forbid I need to purchase a safety item such as flares, new PFDs, or a new battery so that I am comfortable knowing my engine will start when I am 26 miles off of the coast.
Man.............I'm going to bed. I think I am going fishing tomorrow just for the hell of it. :fishing: