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verks36
04-03-2009, 08:01 PM
Steelers to Lose Super Bowl Trophies

The Super Bowl XLIII Champion Pittsburgh Steelers, the only team to win six such titles, will soon lose half of those trophies. After a meeting between NFL Commissioner Rodger Godel and President Barack Obama, Obama decided to redistribute half of the Steeler Super Bowl trophies to less fortunate teams in the league.

"We live every day in the country that invented the Super Bowl," said Obama. "We are not about to weaken this Great American tradition in the wake of these difficult times." Obama’s plan calls for the Steelers, who are a wildly successful NFL team, to give half of their Super Bowl trophies to teams that are not successful. "The Detroit Lions are just as much a part of the fiber of the NFL as the Steelers, and they should – no, rather they will – be entitled to a Super Bowl Trophy as well," Obama explains in his plan documents.

The Pittsburgh Steelers – who by virtue of hard work, excellent team play, brilliant draft selections, responsible free agent investing, careful hiring and excellent training – have prospered greatly during the past 30 years, winning six Super Bowl Trophies. But President Obama’s plan calls for the Pittsburgh Steelers to carry the larger burden of the NFL’s less successful teams. Obama went on to further proclaim, "In these difficult times, we are all in this together. We must reclaim the NFL Championship Dream for every team, for every city and for every fan. All teams shall win.”

"My plan will not adversely affect 31 of the 32 teams in the league," Obama assures. “Over 95 percent of the teams in the NFL will not have to worry about losing any Super Bowl Trophies. And yet the worst teams in the NFL will no longer have to worry about going without a title," Obama promises. "We are a country and league of hope. We all need to make a change. It does not matter the color of the teams’ uniforms, the decisions that they make nor their performance … but rather that they are each a living, breathing member of this great American league."

In particular, the Super Bowl XLIII trophy will be redistributed to the 0-16 Detroit Lions. Obama stated, “The Lions could not manage a victory all season, so this trophy will help ease the pain of their pathetic performance and give them hope once again.” The Super Bowl XL trophy will go directly to the Steeler’s division rival, the Cincinnati Bengals. The Bengals have fallen on hard times and have never won a Super Bowl. This victory will bring a smile to hundreds of Bengal fans all over the world, who can finally celebrate something. Finally, one of the Steeler’s two Super Bowl victories over the Dallas Cowboys will go back to the Cowboys since the league needs to provide hope in the face of adversity. “This is a heavy burden for the Steelers, but together we can all prosper,” Obama said.

All hope is not lost for Pittsburgh residents, since Barack Obama has another plan in place, too. Obama has met with MLB commissioner Bud Selig and indicated that the New York Yankees must redistribute two of their World Series trophies to the Pittsburgh Pirates, since they have had a dismal losing record for 16 straight seasons. This plan will help stimulate the Pirates and enable them to regain the American Dream. “We just can’t afford to have some people winning, and other people losing,” Barack stated. “This has gone on too long, and we are out of balance. It is better if we all just pretty much tie.”

In other related news, Barack Obama will be meeting with Michael Phelps in the coming weeks, planning to drive more "Hope and Change."

St33lersguy
04-03-2009, 08:20 PM
That's already been posted before http://forums.steelersfever.com/showthread.php?t=34643