View Full Version : Rhinoceros Party of Canada

06-15-2009, 10:09 PM
http://static.squidoo.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/draft_lens2222674module11993708photo_1223650874Rhi noceros_-_Albrecht_Durrer_1515.jpg

The party's mirthful motto: "We promise to keep none of our promises!"

In the best tradition of puckish pork-barrelling politics, here are a few of their grand if not gratuitous giveaways:

1. Repealing the law of gravity.
2. Paving Manitoba to create the world's largest parking lot.
3. Providing higher education by building taller schools.
4. Instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages.
5. Tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset.
6. Making Montreal the Venice of North America by damming the St. Lawrence River.
7. Abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space.
8. Annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory, after the Yukon and the Northwest Territories (Nunavut did not yet exist) in Canada's backyard, in order to eliminate foreign control of Canada's natural resources.
9. Ending crime by abolishing all laws.
10. Paving the Bay of Fundy to create more parking in the Maritimes.
11. Turning Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley.
12. Adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks and tractors first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last.
13. Selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California.
14. Putting the national debt on Visa.
15. Declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons.
16. Offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montréal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this).
17. Painting Canada's coastal sea limits in watercolour so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times.
18. Banning guns and butter, since both kill.
19. Banning lousy Canadian winters.
20. Renaming the country Nantucket.
21. Building a bridge spanning the country, from Vancouver Island to Newfoundland.
22. Making the Trans-Canada Highway one way only.
23. Changing Canada's currency to bubble gum, so it could be inflated or deflated at will.
24. Donate a free rhinoceros to every aspiring artist in Canada.
25. Counting the 1000 Islands to see if the Americans have stolen any.


:rofl: Your humorous neighbors, the Canadians. :laughing:

06-16-2009, 07:48 AM
That was hilarious

06-16-2009, 09:46 AM
This platform is:

A) Slightly less ambitious than Obama's
B) Slightly more realistic and achievable

06-16-2009, 10:00 AM
Ironically, here in the US we have a RINO Party that unfortunately gets elected sometimes :popcorn: