PDA

View Full Version : Jokes to offend everyone!


SCSTILLER
08-25-2009, 06:22 AM
What do you call two
Mexicans playing
basketball?

Juan on Juan


What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.


What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?

The position of the dirt bag


Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it..


What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Doughnuts


Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.



What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever..


What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.



What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

10 years and 45 lbs



What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife


Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.


Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you


Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving


Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls.


What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.


Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?

Everyone has the same DNA.


Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.



Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar.


Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby?

They named him "Sum Ting Wong"


What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment


What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe"..


How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the "F" word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!



What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time .."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t

kmsteelerwr15
08-25-2009, 12:46 PM
lmao :rofl:
those are great thanks for sharing

7SteelGal43
08-25-2009, 01:42 PM
Those are hilarious, I laughed out loud, but I think my fave is...

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time .."
A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t

Being from the south, it's funny.........'cause it's true :wink02:


Speaking of which, what are the most common "last words" of a redneck ?

"Hey bubba, watch this"

SteelersMongol
08-26-2009, 09:36 PM
:chuckle:

NJarhead
08-26-2009, 09:50 PM
:rofl:

Good stuff.

crazzycat
09-18-2009, 08:09 AM
very good jokes, told them to my friend he could't stop laugh for a 10 minutes, tnx

SteelMember
09-18-2009, 11:12 AM
:sofunny: Excellent! I love the "one liners".

arge5809
09-18-2009, 03:06 PM
HAHAHAHA!!

:rofl: