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View Full Version : Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers


Dionysus
09-08-2009, 06:09 PM
http://deadspin.com/5354828/why-your-team-sucks-pittsburgh-steelers

Did a search and didn't see this come up. Pretty funny stuff.

steelpride12
09-08-2009, 06:12 PM
I know and after all of that we still are faithful to our team, yes the most faithful and hearted fans! We have 6 super bowl rings we never complain about and can still whoop any teams ass anyday. Im pretty content with that :)

tony hipchest
09-08-2009, 06:12 PM
take it to the blast furnace, dianaross.

fansince'76
09-08-2009, 06:28 PM
take it to the blast furnace, dianaross.

Yep, moved it. They're coming out of the woodwork. :rolleyes:

steelpride12
09-08-2009, 06:40 PM
Yep, moved it. They're coming out of the woodwork. :rolleyes:

I know gotta love the beginning of the season mad rush to tell us Steeler fans our team sucks, but after the season ends and we pry up another trophy and ring they are truly quiet during the offseason surprise surprise! :chuckle:

NJarhead
09-08-2009, 06:48 PM
I thought it was kinda funny myself. :laughing:

I say to them, "Keep crying. I'll mix my kool-aid with your tears." YUMMAAAY! :chuckle:

steelax04
09-08-2009, 06:56 PM
I checked out some of the others and I thought they were kinda funny too.

Hot Stuff Nick Sterno
09-08-2009, 07:15 PM
Winners tell jokes; losers say, "Shut up and deal."

NJarhead
09-08-2009, 07:43 PM
This one's about the Brownies:

Mangini? Really? It's as if Browns ownership is deliberately trying to turn off Cleveland fans. It's not enough that Cleveland had Belichick before he became arguably the greatest head coach in NFL history. No, now they have to hire all of his shitty underlings, thus repeating the shitty first Belichick era over and over again. Because what better way to win the hearts of a city than by making coaching hires that constantly remind citizens of the darkest moment in their team's history. A flawless plan.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

RodWoodsonwasprettycool
09-08-2009, 08:52 PM
The Browns piece was actually really well written and the first part part sums up how I feel about the current "Browns" team, the funniest part is the guy auctually likes the Browns as his AFC team (he's a Vikings fan)

1. Those aren't really the Browns. I know they kept the records. And the team name. And the uniforms. I know the current assemblage of players known as the Cleveland Browns are supposed to be just like the real thing. But I'm sorry. They aren't. Ever since the Browns returned to the league in '99, I've always felt like I was watching the football equivalent of a new stepmother, or a turtle that was purchased to secretly replace the one accidentally killed by a parent. Everyone affiliated with the New Browns may as well have buttons sewn into their eyes. They are profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering impostors. IMPOSTORE!!!

Before they left for Baltimore, the Browns had a distinctive football identity. I know this because the Browns were my favorite AFC team when I was a kid for reasons that escape me (I think Hanford Dixon and Frank Minnifield rocking orange shoes had something to do with it). And they're the team I will probably try rooting for when the Vikings decide to leave Minnesota two years from now. Then I'll give up after a year of that and become just a general NFL fan, which will be for the best.

Anyway, I digress. The reason I used to love those old Browns teams was because they never made anything look easy. Bernie Kosar threw sideways. Earnest Byner had to plow through six defenders just to get a lousy four-yard gain. They relied on trick plays more than pretty much any other team in the NFL (a trait Bill Cowher brought with him to Pittsburgh once he became a coach). Every time the Browns scored 30 points, it felt like a miracle. They felt like the kind of team maybe I could play for one day. That's a stupid concept, but it's the kind of thing you imagine when you're young and retarded. They were a proud team defensively. And if you ever beat them, they'd at least make you hurt the next day for it.

Those are the Cleveland Browns I remember from when I was a kid, and they have absolutely nothing to do with the supposed Browns you see before you today. The Browns of today have no identity. The two times they've had winning records since they've returned to the NFL were both freakish, inexplicable anomalies. There's something off about this franchise now. Like they crawled out of the Pet Semetary. Like the players have had their bodies snatched, and if you cut them open, you'd find aliens underneath. Aliens who are really, really, really profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering bad at playing football. Like watching George Clooney's wife return from the dead in "Solaris". No, wait. Scratch that. It's like watching "Solaris". Very slow and painful.

Face it, Browns fans. Deep in your heart, this doesn't really feel like your team. The team you really want the one with the great defensive tradition and wonderful front office stability; the team that is now Pittsburgh's true archrival that team is in Baltimore now, and there's no hope of getting it back. That's the team you SHOULD have. That's the team you feel you truly deserve, and you know it. That Super Bowl title should be yours. Stabby Ray Lewis should be yours. Joe Flacco should be yours. You don't deserve this Cleveland Stepmoms franchise, this Bizarro bunch of Browns birthed into the world by that scumbag Carmen Policy and run into the ground by everyone who's taken the wheel since. It's the oddest situation in sports. You have your team, but you don't really have them. The NFL let you keep the team's colors, but didn't let you keep the team's soul. And that's the cruelest part of Art Modell's legacy. profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering prick.

If I hadn't had known this was a piece slamming the Browns I would have thought this was written at a Browns fan site.

RoethlisBURGHer
09-08-2009, 11:11 PM
After reading that, I want to kick somebodies ass.

steelax04
09-08-2009, 11:20 PM
After reading that, I want to kick somebodies ass.

Or punch babies in the face?

RoethlisBURGHer
09-08-2009, 11:20 PM
Or punch babies in the face?

Nah. That's just mean.

SteelersMongol
09-08-2009, 11:51 PM
And it smells like Arby's. The WHOLE profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering city smells like Arby's.

This is so much better than smelling like a sewer, I assume. :wink02:

Their fans... No, I'm talking about the Steeler fan near you who plasters the hideous black and gold stickers everywhere he can think of, from his front door to the barely-running jalopy parked in his front yard. This Steeler fan shares every sub-human, depraved trait of his confluence bretheren, but the difference is that he's actually at your stadium waving a yellow towel in your face while grinning like a crazed mongoloid. How he was able to scrape together enough change on his minimum wage salary to afford an NFL ticket or read a map well enough to find a stadium are questions that must remain unanswered...

:rofl: This is so me. Even with that MONGOLOID sh*t he wrote, this is so me if we read last sentence as "How he was able to scrape together enough third world country money on his third world country salary to afford Steelers items or to find Pittsburgh on a US map." :toofunny:

God forbid you'd ever see any of these Steeler superfans finding their way to a Pirates game...

I follow the Pirates & Penguins now & then, even though I think baseball is so boring & hockey is so violent & meaningless that it should called something else other like boxing with sticks or whatever. But I gotta tell ya guys, whenever I C the Pirates score I start 2 wonder if the Cleveland Browns fans feels the same way looking at the aftergame stats.

So many Pittsburgh fans are from Ohio, and they are the biggest bandwagon fans in the world. These troglodytes have never even been to Pennsylvania, and yet they adorn their overweight, uneducated bodies with gaudy yellow and black, and call themselves true Steeler fans.

:chuckle: They keep talking about overweight Steelers fans a lot, but it's excluding me. :chuckle: I want 2 sue em.

Equally sad is the number of people who all of a sudden claimed to be "from" Pittsburgh as they pepper their speech with the "Stillers" and "Yinzes." Nine times out of 10 they live in a suburb of the city and before 2006 would rather have said they were from Philadelphia or Islamabad before they copped to being from Pittsburgh.

:toofunny:

Now the BEST LINE is

What I learned from Why Your Team Sucks: America is full of fat asses

:rofl: Sh*t man, this whole thing was some funny stuff. I laughed so hard, I don't regret reading & wasting my 10 minutes. :thumbsup: Now I wonder what they talked about other team fans. :chuckle:

theplatypus
09-09-2009, 05:37 AM
I thought this comment was pretty freaking funny.

Their colors are Black and Gold. So are the Pirates. So are the Penguins. Come on, you unimaginative profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfilters, there are literally hundreds of colors. The town looks like a fat, numbered bumblebee convention, all year round.

stlrtruck
09-09-2009, 06:36 AM
Bitter much!

HometownGal
09-09-2009, 07:17 AM
Wow - the jealousy is flowing on that site, so much so that it is actually funny! :rofl: :laughing:

I am the biggest steaming load of eviscerated shit ever seen.

There - fixed that for ya Mr. Maggot. :upyours:

revefsreleets
09-09-2009, 07:46 AM
This reminds me very much of Buckeye hate...it's a mixture of green faced envy and a pretty large inferiority complex...garden variety stuff, really....although this guy (well, these guys, since there seems to be a few of them) are really SUPER angry to, boot, like postal worker angry...

Probably a combination of piss-poor public education, lack of employment, being in their mid-30's and still living in their parents basements, along with the added handicap of being like Redskins fans or something on top of all their many other woes...

Steel Head
09-09-2009, 07:58 AM
read the Baltimore one: http://deadspin.com/5354697/why-your-team-sucks-baltimore-ravens

:toofunny:

RodWoodsonwasprettycool
09-09-2009, 08:15 AM
I don't think it's so much jealousy, as just moreso an excuse to make fun of every team.

Also, this guy is an excellent writer, even has a book out and one of his best friends on the site is a Steeler fan, who is hilarious I might add.

Check out Kissing Suzy Kolber sometime, they make fun of the whole NFL. Even the Steeler fan makes fun of Ben. And his parody of Phillip Rivers is hilarious.

revefsreleets
09-09-2009, 08:29 AM
I don't think it's so much jealousy, as just moreso an excuse to make fun of every team.

Also, this guy is an excellent writer, even has a book out and one of his best friends on the site is a Steeler fan, who is hilarious I might add.

Check out Kissing Suzy Kolber sometime, they make fun of the whole NFL. Even the Steeler fan makes fun of Ben. And his parody of Phillip Rivers is hilarious.
Although I didn't laugh once at any joke about any of the teams, he may in fact be a good writer elsewhere on other subjects.

HOWEVER, that doesn't encapsulate all the jealous rage in all the other quotes posted below his rant...

fansince'76
09-09-2009, 09:08 AM
Although I didn't laugh once at any joke about any of the teams, he may in fact be a good writer elsewhere on other subjects.

HOWEVER, that doesn't encapsulate all the jealous rage in all the other quotes posted below his rant...

Nope, I think you hit the nail on the head earlier. Uneducated, unemployed (sorry, I don't count a middle-aged Taco Bell worker as being employed), and still living in their mom's basement in their mid-30s pretty much covers it.

RodWoodsonwasprettycool
09-09-2009, 10:08 AM
Although I didn't laugh once at any joke about any of the teams, he may in fact be a good writer elsewhere on other subjects.

HOWEVER, that doesn't encapsulate all the jealous rage in all the other quotes posted below his rant...

Lighten up man. He makes a living cracking on the NFL, the Steelers just happen to be a target along with 32 other teams. The fanbase CAN be an easy target (just like mine), not to diss on Steeler fans, but come on, I'm sure that you've had to run into one or two type of fans that he has described , I know I have. I have also run into a couple of fans who know their stuff and aren't like anything he describes.

Has nothing to do with jealousy, Would you despise someone who constantly after every sentence of talking football replied with "HOW MANY SUPER BOWLS YOU GOT!? WE GOT SIX!", and then proceeds to know next to nothing about the team? And I know that's not the majority of folks here or who are REAL Steeler fans, but the front running ones that are described are on par with the Cowboys/Bulls/Yankees fans of the '90's right now. That's what he was slamming.

Now as for the guy being a loser and such?

Dude wrote his own book and it's a very good one at that.

http://www.amazon.com/Men-Balls-Professional-Athletes-Handbook/dp/0316023078/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252508439&sr=8-1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadspin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kissing_Suzy_Kolber

Dino 6 Rings
09-09-2009, 11:29 AM
No idea what the guy above this post is talking about....I mean...do any of us really talk non-stop about how many SB Titles we have???? Really????

By the way, who likes my signature?

Pittsky
09-09-2009, 11:43 AM
i personally like "Find me a Steelers fan who's an actual f*cking steelworker, and I'll put a unicorn in your driveway."

hahah a unicorn...

1st&Goal
09-09-2009, 12:20 PM
I thought it was creative and funny, really. Let's face it. When you don't have any bragging rights, you spend your time groveling and wishing YOUR team was as good as the Steelers. Me thinks I detect a bit of jealousy. Dontcha think? :laughing:

HERE WE GO!

RoethlisBURGHer
09-09-2009, 01:40 PM
Lest you think the Ravens are all tough and rugged, keep in mind this is the franchise that begged the NFL to not schedule them in a prime time opening game against the Steelers in Pittsburgh. That is profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering weak in so many different ways. This isn't college ball, where big name schools routinely profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfilterprofanityfilter out on scheduling road games with dangerous non-conference opponents. If you're too afraid to play the Steelers in their house at night, then the Steelers own your profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering SHIT.

:tt03: Hell yeah, that's the truth!

SteelersMongol
09-09-2009, 09:19 PM
Lighten up man. He makes a living cracking on the NFL, the Steelers just happen to be a target along with 32 other teams. The fanbase CAN be an easy target (just like mine), not to diss on Steeler fans, but come on, I'm sure that you've had to run into one or two type of fans that he has described , I know I have. I have also run into a couple of fans who know their stuff and aren't like anything he describes.

Has nothing to do with jealousy, Would you despise someone who constantly after every sentence of talking football replied with "HOW MANY SUPER BOWLS YOU GOT!? WE GOT SIX!", and then proceeds to know next to nothing about the team? And I know that's not the majority of folks here or who are REAL Steeler fans, but the front running ones that are described are on par with the Cowboys/Bulls/Yankees fans of the '90's right now. That's what he was slamming.

Now as for the guy being a loser and such?

Dude wrote his own book and it's a very good one at that.

http://www.amazon.com/Men-Balls-Professional-Athletes-Handbook/dp/0316023078/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252508439&sr=8-1

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deadspin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kissing_Suzy_Kolber

Hey, I laughed my arse off. :chuckle: The Browns one & the Ravens one were also pretty good. Though he didn't do a good job on the NE Cheaters one. I've sent the Steelers one 2 my youngest brother, & he liked the BUMBLEBEE CONVENTION comment. :laughing:

SteelCityMom
09-11-2009, 02:59 PM
I thought this was pretty funny too...I can handle the city and some of the fans being poked fun at, plus some of it is true lol.

fat4jc
09-16-2009, 12:11 PM
The Redskins one is hilarious....I live in Richmond, VA and know what he's talking about.

jev7452
09-16-2009, 08:25 PM
i just loved that he started the entire thing off by talking about how the steelers shouldnt have won a 6th title simply because "everyone was happy with a three-way tie".. riiiight hahah

sixstringlass
09-17-2009, 05:11 AM
Wow. And I didn't think I could get any more pissed off today...

sixstringlass
09-22-2009, 06:43 AM
It's a *JOKE*, folks! Think of it as a celebrity roast, and don't be so thin-skinned! :tt03:

I just picked a bad day to read it.

Raynestorm
10-21-2009, 10:01 AM
6 Lombardi's

7 AFC titles

20 Division titles

18 men inshrined in Canton, Ohio (not counting 5 that just happened to play with us)

Over 100 men sent to the probowl since 1953.

If that's the OP's definition of fail, please show me success. :flap:

steelwalls
10-22-2009, 07:17 PM
other fan: The steelers suck, I hate them

Steelers fan: says.....

6 Lombardi's

7 AFC titles

20 Division titles

18 men inshrined in Canton, Ohio (not counting 5 that just happened to play with us)

Over 100 men sent to the probowl since 1953.



other team's fan: Well.......... They still suck!!!




Watcha gonna do :noidea:

Indo
10-23-2009, 02:46 PM
Watcha gonna do :noidea:


Keep increasing those numbers so that they have reason to hate us

I would rather them hate us than Pity us

Hell, I don't hate the Raiders or the Cowgirls any more.

I just feel sorry for them.

(how many of the young 'uns on the board ever hated the Raiders?)

Raynestorm
10-23-2009, 03:03 PM
Keep increasing those numbers so that they have reason to hate us

I would rather them hate us than Pity us

Hell, I don't hate the Raiders or the Cowgirls any more.

I just feel sorry for them.

(how many of the young 'uns on the board ever hated the Raiders?)

Young uns?

Probably none....those of us old enough to remember the Raiders vs. the Steelers games from the 70's learned to hate them.

I heard Madden say a couple years ago that he still hasn't gotten over the immaculate reception. :rofl:

PS....The Chief never saw that play. He thought they were going to lose and left the press box early to congradulate them on a great season when they got to the locker room. He was surprised to see them celebrating when they came into the locker room celebrating. :banging:

MACH1
10-23-2009, 03:36 PM
I still have a deep hatred for them, just right now the pats* are at the top of the list. :sofunny:

steelwalls
10-23-2009, 09:54 PM
Hell, I don't hate the Raiders or the Cowgirls any more.

I just feel sorry for them.




ditto....

WH
10-24-2009, 08:22 PM
Anyone who gets pissed at this, and/or doesn't laugh histerically at it....is who this article is talking about.