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View Full Version : PROOF THE WORLD'S GONE NUTS


I-Want-Troy's-Hair
09-18-2009, 05:11 PM
In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
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In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)
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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than 'going blind!')
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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute; is there
any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
So how many American men ar going to run to Guam?
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In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)
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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)
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In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
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In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
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In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only 'in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'

(Is this a great country or what?
Well, not as great as Guam !)
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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)
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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of?)

(Did our government pay for this research??)
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Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)
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An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)
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Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)
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And, the best for last?

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought YOU had bad breath in the morning!)

SteelersMongol
09-20-2009, 07:38 AM
:rofl: I LMAO.

Laws 4 New England Cheatriots fans who live in Massachusettes. :thumbsup:

At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. :noidea:

Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. :chuckle:

An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts. :laughing:

All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.

Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.

It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.

A woman can not be on top in sexual activities. :toofunny:

No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. :doh:

Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes. :banging:

Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.

Quakers and witches are banned. :rofl:

Bullets may not be used as currency. :chuckle: