View Full Version : Shanahans pregame locker room rant

3 to be 4
01-22-2006, 01:38 PM
Shanahan: Let me have your attention for a moment! So you're talking about what? You're talking about...(puts out his cigarette)...bitching about that play you shot, some son of a bitch that doesn't want to tackle, somebody that doesn't want what you're selling, some broad you're trying to screw and so forth. Let's talk about something important. Are they all here?
Assistant: All but one.
Shanahan: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important! (to Plummer) Put that coffee down!! Coffee's for winners only. (Plummer scoffs) Do you think I'm ****ing with you? I am not ****ing with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here Bowden's office. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Plummer?
Plummer: Yeah.
Shanahan: You call yourself a Quarterback, you son of a bitch?
Anderson: I don't have to listen to this shit.
Shanahan: You certainly don't pal. 'Cause the good news is -- you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting tonight. Starting with tonights game. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this months incentive contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're released. You get the picture? You're laughing now? You got schemes. Bowden paid good money. You can't close the plays you're given, you can't close shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!
Smith: The gameplans are weak.
Shanahan: 'The gameplans are weak.' ****ing gameplans are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years.
Anderson: What's your name?
Shanahan: **** YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name!! (to Plummer) And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. (at a near whisper) And you go home and tell your wife your troubles. (to everyone again) Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to score touchdowns! You hear me, you ****ing ******s?
(Shanahan flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.)
Blake: A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-completing. Always be completing! Always be completing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's **** or walk. You complete the play or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the fans comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk into the Stadium unless he wants to win. Sitting out there waiting to give you their money! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Plummer) What's the problem pal? You. Plummer.
Plummer: You're such a hero, you're so rich. Why you coming down here and waste your time on a bunch of bums?
(Shanahan sits and takes off his gold watch)
Shanahan: You see this watch? You see this watch?
Plummer: Yeah.
Shanahan: That watch cost more than your car. I made $3,970,000 last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? **** you -- go home and play with your kids!! (to everyone) You wanna play here? Win!! (to Bailey) You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you ****sucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get in a game?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there tonight a high school team, get myself to a Super Bowl. A Super Bowl! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to win football!?
(He pulls something out of his briefcase)
Blake: It takes brass balls to win a playoff game.
(He's holding two brass balls on string, over the appropriate "area"--he puts them away after a pause)
Plummer: Go and do likewise, gents. The money's out there, you pick it up, it's yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out tonight and win, win, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. (in a mocking weak voice) "Oh yeah, I used to be a football player, it's a tough racket." (he takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string from his briefcase) These are the new plays. These are the Shanahan plays. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. (he hands the stack to to the assistant coach) They're for winners.
I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. (to Plummer as he puts on his watch again) And to answer your question, pal: why am I here? I came here because Bowden asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your ****ing ass because a loser is a loser.
(He stares at Plummer for a sec, and then picking up his briefcase, goes into inner office with his coaches)

01-22-2006, 01:42 PM
Somebody throw a piece of cheese at him to shut him up.

Avoid Lloyd
01-22-2006, 01:49 PM
That can't be for real:dang:

3 to be 4
01-22-2006, 02:57 PM
didnt ANYBODY see Alec Baldwins classic monologue in "Glengarry Glen Ross"?????

01-22-2006, 06:05 PM
I did...the line "I drove here in an 80,000 dollar BMW tonight, and you drove in a Hyundai" line was an all-time classic...

Perhaps Shanny SHOULD have used this speech, because his team will finish 3rd this year, but he won't be fired...