View Full Version : More Tiger Woods humor

12-03-2009, 06:48 PM
1. Tiger's new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
2. Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly… but put me down for a 5."
3. Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.
4. What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards……..
5. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
6. Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
7. Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger!

12-03-2009, 08:10 PM

12-04-2009, 07:03 AM
And a few more to add:

Who is totally frightened of Tiger's wife?
His caddy!

What's the difference between Tiger’s car driving and his short game?
He can back up a wedge.

A guy walks into a bar and says "Tiger's wife beat him to death." the other guy goes "how many strokes did it take?"

Tiger Woods needs a new driver, one for the Cadillac and the other to replace the one that his wife wrapped around his head.

I'm thinking that Tiger teed off the Missus by getting caught with his club and balls in the wrong bunker.

Tiger now has a bad slice .....oops its on his top lip

Why did Elin Woods use the 9 iron to bust out the rear window?
Because she hated the driver.

What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seals?
They both get clubbed by Norwegiens.

Tiger’s been dropped from the Ryder Cup team as his terrible record at being beaten by the Europeans continues.

Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They will be named Elin Woods..."Clubs you can
beat Tiger with."

Word that Elin Woods was using a golf club as a “rescue club” now has been proven to be untrue as it now appears she was actually trying to knock the shit out of a driver.

Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name? Cheetah

I made it out of my driveway this morning, now I can finally say that I can outdrive Tiger.

12-19-2009, 02:20 PM
Tiger is also now hawking his own male enhancement pills.

Tiagra....when you need more than 18 holes.

12-20-2009, 12:05 AM
These just keep coming.

Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

T’was the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,

Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.

Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,

With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,

Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',

Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,

"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."

She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,

Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.

12-22-2009, 02:29 AM
Tiger is also now hawking his own male enhancement pills.

Tiagra....when you need more than 18 holes.

LOL. :thumbsup:

nfl draft (http://www.topnflnews.com/)

01-06-2010, 12:39 PM


01-06-2010, 03:15 PM
that holiday poem is hilarious...do you have a link to it

01-08-2010, 12:34 PM
that holiday poem is hilarious...do you have a link to it

I'm afraid not someone sent that to me in an e-mail