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View Full Version : Why do bookstores and libraries make me wanna dump???


PineappleJetsFan
01-01-2010, 04:01 PM
Seriously. I can't take it anymore. Within 5 minutes of entering a bookstore or library I'm running for the nearest bathroom. I have 2 theories:

1. The collective smell of thousands of pieces of paper and magazines somehow makes me want to dump. But that's kinda retarded cause I don't think paper has an odor?

2. I associate books and magazines with the toilet because I'm always reading when I dump.

Am I the only one with this problem? Is it a symptom of being a Jets fan?

tony hipchest
01-01-2010, 05:23 PM
:chuckle:

while i have not experienced this on a personal level (i dont read when i crap- instead, i post on this furum) i am definitely intrigued with your hypothesis.

books and mags do indeed have a particular scent, and a great scent it is. a fresh book that has never been opened almost smells as good as a stack of $20's fresh from the bank.

im thinking the instinct to crap upon stepping into a barnes an noble phenomenon is classic pavlov's dog.

bell rings = mouth waters./smell books = gotta shit.

MACH1
01-01-2010, 05:33 PM
It could be like the running water trick. Hear water, got to piss, surrounded by paper, got to shit. :chuckle:

Preacher
01-01-2010, 06:38 PM
It could be the selection of books you're reading as well.

Try staying out of the Jets' biography section :wink02:

Polamalu Princess
01-01-2010, 07:25 PM
Sorry for your troubles!!!!:rofl::rofl:

Vincent
01-01-2010, 08:37 PM
Some things needn't be "shared". :poop:

My :twocents:

HometownGal
01-01-2010, 08:43 PM
TMI. :puke:

That is all.

AllD
01-01-2010, 09:28 PM
The ink makes you doodie. Ask a librarian, they are never constipated.

touchdownward
01-01-2010, 11:30 PM
Walmart tire center has the same effect on me. I suppose if I were to not make it to the restroom, skid marks would take on a whole new meaning for me. :oops:

AllD
01-02-2010, 09:35 AM
The smell of the glue in the plywood at Home Depot is like a mexcian river water enema to me.

Vincent
01-02-2010, 03:21 PM
The smell of the glue in the plywood at Home Depot is like a mexcian river water enema to me.

:toofunny::sofunny::rofl:

Venom
01-02-2010, 06:29 PM
Listening to Barack Obama gives me the runs . Hopefully it will end in 3 years , lol

sixstringlass
01-02-2010, 07:51 PM
What strikes me as funny is that the OP decided to share this with all of us when he/she has fewer than 10 posts. We don't really know this person very well; I think it's a bit soon to know about your bowel movements.

But mebbe that's just me.

Preacher
01-02-2010, 08:04 PM
What strikes me as funny is that the OP decided to share this with all of us when he/she has fewer than 10 posts. We don't really know this person very well; I think it's a bit soon to know about your bowel movements.

But mebbe that's just me.


So what you are saying, is that it is kind of a "Second date" conversation right? :wink02:

beSteelmyheart
01-02-2010, 09:39 PM
I agree with Tony, books definitely do have a smell & the smell of a new book is second to none! Especially the big coffee table pictorial style books, but anyway...
Coffee moves me quite well, as does this computer chair, we call it the Magic Chair because of it's ability to create a bowel movement!:wink02:

stillers4me
01-02-2010, 09:46 PM
I juast got home from Borders and had no problems whatsoever.

Shea
01-02-2010, 10:23 PM
Seriously. I can't take it anymore. Within 5 minutes of entering a bookstore or library I'm running for the nearest bathroom. I have 2 theories:

1. The collective smell of thousands of pieces of paper and magazines somehow makes me want to dump. But that's kinda retarded cause I don't think paper has an odor?

2. I associate books and magazines with the toilet because I'm always reading when I dump.

Am I the only one with this problem? Is it a symptom of being a Jets fan?

When looking at a tree, do you fart?

(I know, not funny - but damn if I didn't just crack myself up :sofunny:)

devilsdancefloor
01-02-2010, 10:35 PM
When looking at a tree, do you fart?

(I know, not funny - but damn if I didn't just crack myself up :sofunny:)

i bet it more of a shart

Shellshock
01-02-2010, 10:35 PM
Well, being a Jets fan this is not surprising. It is common knowledge that Jet fans are more than likely to be afraid of reading.(Jones p26). This may be do to the educational system of NYC which would be top notch in a devoloping country. (Jones p45).

Shellshock
01-02-2010, 10:39 PM
Educational Hardships of a Jets Fan by BoB Jones.

sixstringlass
01-07-2010, 05:36 PM
Well, being a Jets fan this is not surprising. It is common knowledge that Jet fans are more than likely to be afraid of reading.(Jones p26). This may be do to the educational system of NYC which would be top notch in a devoloping country. (Jones p45).

I like your use of MLA citations. Ah, the good ol' days of MLA. (I'm stuck with APA. Sucks.)

Glace
01-08-2010, 11:22 PM
Greatest....thread....ever!!!!!

Unfortunately it's not smells that make me have to poop.

When I'm hunting....and the temperature drops into the teens or single digits....that's when I'm forced to go for whatever reason. There's not much worse of a feeling than 0 degree wind chills hitting you where the sun don't shine....and _______ freezing to your _______ (you can fill in the blanks)


My colon also seems to get home-sick.
I remember when I was in 5th grade....we had a 5-day "camping trip" for a field trip....Shaver's Creek. Fun stuff. I didn't poop....the whole time.....when I got home though, wow. "Hi Mom, Hi dad, gotta poop, talk to you in a few"

MattsMe
01-08-2010, 11:26 PM
This thread has gone to sh*t.