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View Full Version : I AM OZZY! (Book review)


revefsreleets
04-08-2010, 06:35 PM
Revealing. Disturbing. Disgusting. Obnoxious.

The guy is twice as crazy as I thought he was, and I always figured he was ALREADY twice as crazy as he was made out to be to begin with, so....well.....you do the math....

But I have to admit, I have NEVER laughed so hard or out-loud so often while reading a book, and I've literally read thousands of them. It is side-splittingly funny...but ONLY if you enjoy the suffering of others and juvenile and sophomoric humor.

Warning: If you don't want to read the eff word in print, do NOT read this book. If it's 100,000 words long, at least 10,000 of them are f***. Also, If you can't stand reading about bodily functions, skip this one.

Otherwise, super highly recommended!

NJarhead
04-08-2010, 06:42 PM
Revealing. Disturbing. Disgusting. Obnoxious.

The guy is twice as crazy as I thought he was, and I always figured he was ALREADY twice as crazy as he was made out to be to begin with, so....well.....you do the math....

But I have to admit, I have NEVER laughed so hard or out-loud so often while reading a book, and I've literally read thousands of them. It is side-splittingly funny...but ONLY if you enjoy the suffering of others and juvenile and sophomoric humor.

Warning: If you don't want to read the eff word in print, do NOT read this book. If it's 100,000 words long, at least 10,000 of them are f***. Also, If you can't stand reading about bodily functions, skip this one.

Otherwise, super highly recommended!


Damn. Well, my "to read" collection is about as tall as me by now (too much school crap to read what I want these days), but I may have to put Ozzy on the top of the list. He cracks me up!

I wish I could have a ringer where it was just him saying "Burrito." lol

tony hipchest
04-08-2010, 06:51 PM
i just got back from san antonio (we always stay right next to the alamo) and every night when i stumble back from the coyote ugly, i stop in front of the monument, pay silent respects, and wonder what in the hell he was thinking when he pissed on it. ive done this ritual over a dozen times and have often wanted to ask a ranger where exactly he pissed.

any insight? i hear he is still banned from TX.

revefsreleets
04-08-2010, 06:58 PM
i just got back from san antonio (we always stay right next to the alamo) and every night when i stumble back from the coyote ugly, i stop in front of the monument, pay silent respects, and wonder what in the hell he was thinking when he pissed on it. ive done this ritual over a dozen times and have often wanted to ask a ranger where exactly he pissed.

any insight? i hear he is still banned from TX.


He had no idea what he was doing...pure accident.

He apologized to a future mayor and has since played gigs in San Antonio. It's a very funny bit in the book, but nowhere near the funniest.

(Spoiler alert) I think my favorite is when him and Sharon went to look at and possibly bid on Roger Whittaker's house that was for sale with a Realtor in tow. He shit all over himself and there was no toilet paper. I cried for 15 minutes reading it, but the details were too disgusting to divulge to my girlfriend who was laying next to me at the time, looking at ME like I was as insane as Ozzy actually is!

NJarhead
04-08-2010, 07:00 PM
i just got back from san antonio (we always stay right next to the alamo) and every night when i stumble back from the coyote ugly, i stop in front of the monument, pay silent respects, and wonder what in the hell he was thinking when he pissed on it. ive done this ritual over a dozen times and have often wanted to ask a ranger where exactly he pissed.

any insight? i hear he is still banned from TX.

Actually, I heard he was recently forgiven.

Yep:

The year 1982 also saw a few other incidents in Ozzy’s life. On February 12, Ozzy was in San Antonio, Texas when he, for some reason, dressed as a woman and walked around taking pictures. Well, Ozzy was drunk and didn't comprehend what he was doing. During film reloading, he felt the need to relieve himself. He urinated on a half-knocked down wall that turned out to be a part of the Alamo itself. Ozzy was fined, threw in jail, and was banned from entering the city again until 1992 when the ban was lifted.

http://www.ozzyasylum.com/biography.php

tony hipchest
04-08-2010, 07:12 PM
Actually, I heard he was recently forgiven.

Yep:



http://www.ozzyasylum.com/biography.php

damn... its sad when '92 was 'recently'. seems like yesterday. were getting old guys.

as far as the alamo, im kinda suprised he didnt get away with it. after the bars close, while lit up, it is practically abandoned w/o a soul in sight. kinda nice and somber.

and truth be told the thought does cross your mind as you stand there enjoying it all alone, that you could piss right here and nobody would ever know.

im glad i dont get as drunk as ozzy.

NJarhead
04-08-2010, 07:23 PM
damn... its sad when '92 was 'recently'. seems like yesterday. were getting old guys.

as far as the alamo, im kinda suprised he didnt get away with it. after the bars close, while lit up, it is practically abandoned w/o a soul in sight. kinda nice and somber.

and truth be told the thought does cross your mind as you stand there enjoying it all alone, that you could piss right here and nobody would ever know.

im glad i dont get as drunk as ozzy.

lmao. In my defense, I wrote that and was going to post. Then I figured, ahh let me see if I can find it in writing (The Me knows how the tony loves his links :chuckle:). Then I was just too lazy to change it. :noidea:

Geez man. You pick up on everything! :chuckle:

Shea
04-08-2010, 10:56 PM
I have to read this book.

He was a riot on his reality show even though half the time I couldn't understand a damn word that was coming from his mouth.

Atleast with a book that wouldn't be the case, and just picturing this read has me smiling already. The guy is definitely confined within the definition of funny. :chuckle:

revefsreleets
04-09-2010, 07:52 AM
The reason he was in "women's clothes": Sharon would often steal all his clothes when he was on a bender, which was a good way to keep him in his room. On this occasion, however, she forgot that she left her own dressing robe. I believe it was emerald green. Ozzy put it on and away he went.

Imagine the chagrin of the arresting office. A drunk lunatic, in a womans robe, pissing on the Alamo, completely indecipherable in his speech...

Vincent
04-09-2010, 09:47 AM
Imagine the chagrin of the arresting office. A drunk lunatic, in a womans robe, pissing on the Alamo, completely indecipherable in his speech...

Cops make way too much money.

He was a riot on his reality show even though half the time I couldn't understand a damn word that was coming from his mouth.

I'm told that various "voices" are available for nav systems in cars, one among them being Ozzy's. I'm trying to imagine what that "experience" might be like - being lost and taking direction from a sot. Almost as surreal as paying for the experience.

SteelCityMom
04-09-2010, 09:52 AM
That sounds hilarious! Definitely going to have to check that one out....thanks for the review.

fansince'76
04-09-2010, 10:26 AM
I'll pick it up - I've always thought Ozzy is funny as hell anyway. His interviews usually have me in stitches.

http://www.suprmchaos.com/ozzy-kermit_060302.jpg

:toofunny: :toofunny: :toofunny:

fansince'76
04-09-2010, 10:44 AM
He was a riot on his reality show even though half the time I couldn't understand a damn word that was coming from his mouth.

I almost fell over laughing when he threw a brick through one of his neighbor's windows. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Shea
04-09-2010, 10:07 PM
I almost fell over laughing when he threw a brick through one of his neighbor's windows. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:sofunny:

I spent some time today looking at some of the episodes on youtube and it's just as funny as it was then.

Just watching Ozzy try to operate the TV system was cracking me up all over again.

I'm definitely going to read this book.