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mesaSteeler
04-12-2010, 06:25 PM
Tips for keeping Ben Roethlisberger out of trouble
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/columnist/lopresti/2010-04-12-roethlisberger_N.htm#

By Mike Lopresti, Gannett
Ben Roethlisberger, free man.

Now that the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback is legally off the hook concerning sexual assault charges in Georgia, can everyone just let bygones be bygones?

Not a chance.

There might still be a slap from the NFL, where the guy in the big office could not have been exactly giddy to hear the district attorney in Georgia say Monday, "We do not prosecute morals, we prosecute crimes."

Now isn't that a fine testimonial any commissioner would want to hear at an open press conference about one of his marquee players?

There might be action by the Steelers, who could not have enjoyed seeing a public official advise their quarterback to "grow up."

There could be a lawsuit from Roethlisberger's accuser. No, not the first one, the second one. Or is it the first one? It's easy to get confused.

And, quite understandably, there will be more scrutiny than ever before. The Baltimore Ravens linebackers aren't going to be the only people keeping an eye on him.

So Big Ben has work to do, with or without an indictment.

It's true what they say: Innocent, until proven guilty.

But also, reckless, until proven prudent. (And guilty of being proved STUPID!. Nothing good can come of picking up a drunken coed in a bar and having sex with her in a bathroom. There is nothing more expensive than "free" sex. - mesa)

Since excerpts of Roethlisberger's recent social past look a little too much like a fraternity toga party, it would seem he needs a new game plan. Just a suggestion, but he might want to tape these guidelines to his wrist, the next time he goes out at night.

If you can script 20 plays ahead of kickoff, you can script 20 thoughts to stay out of the soup.

•Maybe I ought to start going to more movies in the evening.

•Try to remember, if I'm thirsty, there's nothing wrong with a bottle of vitamin water.

•I'm an NFL quarterback. If I want less notoriety, I should have been a punter.

•Rule of thumb: If the average age in the bar is at least six years younger than the average age of my offensive line, it's probably time to go.

•Repeat 10 times each day: This could have turned out a lot worse. Instead of NFL TV, I'd be on Court TV.

•If I want to give a coed a gift, an autograph is probably a lot smarter than a couple of shots of whiskey.

•While we're at it, no more motorcycles, either.

•The Steel Curtain didn't get famous and beloved by keeping forensic investigators busy, swabbing down a bar bathroom.

•For being a famous athlete, I've been fortunate that I haven't gotten creamed more in the tabloid headlines. Thank heavens for Tiger Woods.

•If it's the ESPN legal expert on the line, that's probably not good news.

•I play for the Steelers. We're supposed to be the professional guys. (Amen - mesa)

•Probably not a bad idea if I get a shave before my meeting with Roger Goodell.

•Try to learn something today. Besides someone's cellphone number.

•I haven't been the only Steeler mentioned in bad headlines. Now that Santonio Holmes, who only helped me win a Super Bowl, has been traded to the Jets for a couple of spare tires or something, could the front office have been trying to tell me something?

•The alma mater that is always so proud to claim me, Miami of Ohio, went 1-11 last season. Don't they have enough headaches already?

•As they say in baseball, three accusations of sexual assault, and you're out.

•What would Peyton Manning do? (or Kurt Warner - mesa)

•It's a good thing my attorney fees don't count against the Steelers' salary cap.

•How to get the public back on my side? Not losing twice to the Bengals would be a start.

•Finally, always keep in mind the modern morality of a lot of people up there in the grandstands:

Touchdown passes equal trust.

This summer I'd better behave. And come September, I'd better not stink.

fansince'76
04-12-2010, 06:27 PM
It's true what they say: Innocent, until proven guilty.

No, it's not. Not in the court of public opinion or with asshats in the media (like the author of this article) that largely feed that opinion.

The Steel Curtain didn't get famous and beloved by keeping forensic investigators busy, swabbing down a bar bathroom.

But taking potshots at police helicopters is OK?

Galax Steeler
04-13-2010, 03:33 AM
Tips for keeping Ben out of trouble is to play football year around.

supa_fly_steeler
04-13-2010, 06:12 AM
Tip for Ben.

Lock him up like Death Race and only unleash the monster during game time. lol

wdsteel
04-13-2010, 06:39 AM
LOL @ supa...you must be a big movie fan...seen the Bear jew post as well....

For been. get a full time camera and or a night watchman.

Indo
04-13-2010, 04:01 PM
No, it's not. Not in the court of public opinion or with asshats in the media (like the author of this article) that largely feed that opinion.



But taking potshots at police helicopters is OK?

SHHHHhhhh!

:sign07:

Shoes
04-13-2010, 04:06 PM
Buy some land in Italy and plant garlic in the off season. :chuckle:

Gnutella
04-13-2010, 05:07 PM
Here's a tip: find ONE woman, and be satisfied with her, and NO ONE BUT her.

rick723
04-13-2010, 06:52 PM
Cut his JOHNSON off, that'll slow him down

plenewken
04-13-2010, 06:56 PM
Cut his JOHNSON off, that'll slow him down

Cut down on the juice?

SteelersBry79
04-13-2010, 07:04 PM
Cut his JOHNSON off, that'll slow him down

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/files/2008/09/thestupiditburns.jpg

steelpinstripe72
04-13-2010, 07:15 PM
•I'm an NFL quarterback. If I want less notoriety, I should have been a punter.

Oh dear God...:toofunny:

SteelerFanInStl
04-13-2010, 07:42 PM
Tips for keeping Ben Roethlisberger out of trouble:

hookers!

Set-Man
04-13-2010, 07:56 PM
Get him neutered.

tube517
04-13-2010, 08:00 PM
Don't let any OLineman go anywhere w/him. They can't protect him on or off the field.