View Full Version : The New Official Joke Thread

Mocha Latte
06-04-2010, 10:26 AM
Ten Things You Should Never Say To a Woman During an Argument:

1. Don't you have some laundry to do or something?

2. Ohh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off.

3. You're just upset because your ass is beginning to spread.

4. Wait a minute - I get it. What time of the month is it?

5. You sure you don't want to consult the great Oprah on this one?

6. Sorry. I was just picturing you naked.

7. Whoa, time out. Football is on.

8. Looks like someone had an extra bowl of bitch flakes this morning!

9. Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?

10. Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded, right?

Mocha Latte
06-04-2010, 10:44 AM
Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment

Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either

Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A. A pimp

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, 'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins, 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

Q.. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A.. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States

06-06-2010, 08:17 PM
Are "not too dirty jokes aloud " ?

06-06-2010, 08:23 PM
I'm not too happy now you have to excuse me ! I just found out that the percentage of "battered women " in our area is very high . The reason i'm so angry , is all this time i have been eating mine raw ! Sorry . Just heard it today . I had to laugh .
Sorry to whom it may offend .