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View Full Version : Holmgen on Oprah


3 to be 4
02-10-2006, 09:26 PM
Mike Holmgren : The details of my life are quite inconsequential.
Oprah : Oh no, please, please, let's hear about your childhood.
Mike Holmgen : Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
Oprah: You know, we have to stop.

Stillers#1
02-10-2006, 09:30 PM
Pretty funny.....although a quaker oats commercial woulda been funnier

tony hipchest
02-10-2006, 09:31 PM
wtf?????? lmao!!!!!!! "shorn scrotum" , "meat helmets"? more lol

Suitanim
02-10-2006, 09:32 PM
A) 3-4 is on temporary leave from my ignore list
B) Dr Evil reference is not bad.

3 to be 4
02-10-2006, 09:37 PM
I still dont understand why Holmgren still gets a free ride for SB 32 when he forgot the down and let the Broncos score a TD with 2 minutes to go so "Favre could have a chance"
to tie it.
BRILLIANT!!!!!

and he nearly got himself outcoached in SB 31 by a guy who wasnt even concentrating on the game as much as trying secure a job with another team. Desmond Howard saved his ass.
thank God Seattle lost so we wouldnt have to hear how Holmgren was the only coach to ever win SB's with 2 different teams.

tony hipchest
02-10-2006, 09:39 PM
B) Dr Evil reference is not bad.

a little extreme but funny as hell. im sure plenty of the bitter seahawk fans would be a little butt-hurt reading this comparisson :sofunny:

4xSBChamps
02-10-2006, 10:02 PM
"..... and how does that make you FEEL, Coach Holmgren?"



" :crying02: :crying01:

tony hipchest
02-10-2006, 10:29 PM
I still dont understand why Holmgren still gets a free ride for SB 32 when he forgot the down and let the Broncos score a TD with 2 minutes to go so "Favre could have a chance"
to tie it.
BRILLIANT!!!!!

and he nearly got himself outcoached in SB 31 by a guy who wasnt even concentrating on the game as much as trying secure a job with another team. Desmond Howard saved his ass.
thank God Seattle lost so we wouldnt have to hear how Holmgren was the only coach to ever win SB's with 2 different teams.

and after years of hearing what geniuses him and shanahan are it kind of lends credence to having a farve or elway in the line-up. ive often wondered how many more i.q. points cowher would get if he had a farve or elway during his past failures. (the only time cowher has really been blown out in the playoffs was last year with the rookie.

after losing to the likes of kelly, montana, aikman, elway, brady, and even sb experienced bledsoe and mcnair in the playoffs i still wonder how stan humphries slipped by.

4xSBChamps
02-10-2006, 10:36 PM
after losing to the likes of kelly, montana, aikman, elway, brady, and even sb experienced bledsoe and mcnair in the playoffs i still wonder how stan humphries slipped by.
..... didn't (self-annointed "BIG-PLAY" ) Ray Seales lead the Stiller-players in a Super Bowl pre-production video-shoot the week BEFORE the AFC Championship Game with the Bolts that year?
:confused:

Of all the playoff failures, that one REALLY frosts my snardleys.....