klick81
02-16-2006, 08:52 PM
I found this collection of Steeler jokes in Pittsburghlive.com. I did a quick search but couldn't find it here, so i'm posting it up to provide some laughs for fellow Steeler fans. Feel free to add your own. Enjoy!
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribune-review/sports/steelerslive/steeladdicts/jokearchive.html
STEELERS JOKE ARCHIVE
There was a little boy whose parents were getting a divorce. He had to testify in court and while he was on the stand, the judge asked him who he wanted to live with.
The little boy answered, "I don't know." The judge was confused and asked, "Well, what about your dad?" The little boy said, "No, he beats me."
The judge then said, "Well how about your mother?" "No, she beats me too," replies the little boy.
The judge is confused and looks at the boy and again he asks, "So, who do you want to live with?"
The little boy looks the judge in the eye and says, "I want to live with the Browns because they don't beat anyone."
- Submitted by Mindy Watson from Ohio, Brian Ackerman from Cincinnati, and other Steel Addicts
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Football practice was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours for the Browns. While on his way to the locker room, one of the players happened to look down and noticed a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.
The head coach immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis,the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
- Submitted by Dwight Heminger
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A guy from Nebraska, a guy from Cleveland, and a guy from Pittsburgh are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The guy from Nebraska says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska." With a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.
The guy from Cleveland was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall built around Ohio, so that no Steeler fans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Ohio.
The Steeler fan says, "I'm curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Steeler fan says, "Fill it up with water."
Submitted by Troy Skillen
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The teacher was talking to Billy in class one Monday and asked him, "What's your favorite football team, Billy?"
Billy replied that he really loves the Pittsburgh Steelers. "Why do you like the Steelers so much?" the teacher asked. Billy told her it was because his mom loves them, and his dad says he bleeds black and gold, so it made him a Steeler fan too.
The teacher then asked Billy, "If your mom and dad were both fools what would that make you?"
Billy calmly said, "Well, that would make me a Titans fan!"
Submitted by Glen Gray from Nashville, TN
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The Steelers had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to Coach Cowher and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, Cowher shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."
"Forget the bonus," the turkey said. "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
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Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in North Park when one is suddenly attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick and shoves it under the dogs collar, twisting it to save his friend.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident. "Penguin fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Penguins fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in Pittsburgh I just assumed you were," said the reporter.
"Steelers fan rescues friend from horrific attack," he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Steelers fan either," the boy said.
"Oh! I assumed everyone in Pittsburgh was either for the Penguins or the Steelers. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Browns fan," the child replied.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little jerk from Ohio kills beloved family pet!"
Submitted by Laura from Ohio
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A Bengals fan walks into a sports bar with his dog. The bartender says, "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The Bengals fan says "Please, he's a real avid Bengals fan and our TV just broke. He's never missed a game."
The bartender relents and the guy and his dog find a place right in front of the big screen. Halfway through the third quarter, the Bengals score a field goal. The dog goes crazy! He's chasing his tail, rolling over, doing flips and generally going wild. The bartender says, "Wow, what's he do if they score a touchdown?"
The Bengals fan replies, "How should I know? I've only had the dog for four years."
Submitted by James F. Lindgren
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribune-review/sports/steelerslive/steeladdicts/jokearchive.html
STEELERS JOKE ARCHIVE
There was a little boy whose parents were getting a divorce. He had to testify in court and while he was on the stand, the judge asked him who he wanted to live with.
The little boy answered, "I don't know." The judge was confused and asked, "Well, what about your dad?" The little boy said, "No, he beats me."
The judge then said, "Well how about your mother?" "No, she beats me too," replies the little boy.
The judge is confused and looks at the boy and again he asks, "So, who do you want to live with?"
The little boy looks the judge in the eye and says, "I want to live with the Browns because they don't beat anyone."
- Submitted by Mindy Watson from Ohio, Brian Ackerman from Cincinnati, and other Steel Addicts
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Football practice was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours for the Browns. While on his way to the locker room, one of the players happened to look down and noticed a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.
The head coach immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis,the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
- Submitted by Dwight Heminger
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy from Nebraska, a guy from Cleveland, and a guy from Pittsburgh are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The guy from Nebraska says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska." With a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.
The guy from Cleveland was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall built around Ohio, so that no Steeler fans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Ohio.
The Steeler fan says, "I'm curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."
The Steeler fan says, "Fill it up with water."
Submitted by Troy Skillen
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The teacher was talking to Billy in class one Monday and asked him, "What's your favorite football team, Billy?"
Billy replied that he really loves the Pittsburgh Steelers. "Why do you like the Steelers so much?" the teacher asked. Billy told her it was because his mom loves them, and his dad says he bleeds black and gold, so it made him a Steeler fan too.
The teacher then asked Billy, "If your mom and dad were both fools what would that make you?"
Billy calmly said, "Well, that would make me a Titans fan!"
Submitted by Glen Gray from Nashville, TN
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Steelers had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to Coach Cowher and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, Cowher shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."
"Forget the bonus," the turkey said. "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in North Park when one is suddenly attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick and shoves it under the dogs collar, twisting it to save his friend.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident. "Penguin fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a Penguins fan," the little hero replied.
"Sorry, since we are in Pittsburgh I just assumed you were," said the reporter.
"Steelers fan rescues friend from horrific attack," he continued writing in his notebook.
"I'm not a Steelers fan either," the boy said.
"Oh! I assumed everyone in Pittsburgh was either for the Penguins or the Steelers. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.
"I'm a Browns fan," the child replied.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little jerk from Ohio kills beloved family pet!"
Submitted by Laura from Ohio
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Bengals fan walks into a sports bar with his dog. The bartender says, "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The Bengals fan says "Please, he's a real avid Bengals fan and our TV just broke. He's never missed a game."
The bartender relents and the guy and his dog find a place right in front of the big screen. Halfway through the third quarter, the Bengals score a field goal. The dog goes crazy! He's chasing his tail, rolling over, doing flips and generally going wild. The bartender says, "Wow, what's he do if they score a touchdown?"
The Bengals fan replies, "How should I know? I've only had the dog for four years."
Submitted by James F. Lindgren