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View Full Version : Steelers vs Ravens report card by Still Mill (Not really)


Fire Arians
01-16-2011, 02:55 PM
The Stillers played a pathetic first half and gladly, the ravens shit the bed in the 2nd half.

QB - Benji Roethlisberger had a decent game, finishing 19/32 for 226yds and 2 td's. like a complete homosexual ******, he pumped the ball 3 times stupidly causing a fumble from terrell sucks gifting the ravens a td. He converted a 3rd and 19, but that was kinda lucky so I won't count that. D-

RB - Mendy drew my rage when he fumbled for the 3rd time this season. very poor, assaholic, for someone with 32 inch biceps he can't hold onto the ball. He scored 2 touchdowns, but that's gonna happen if you give my grandma the ball on the 1 yard line. F

WR - leading the way was manny sanders and tonio brown. hines ward celebrated after a 10 yard gain, but otherwise did little. mike wallace pissed me off cause he didn't meet my standards of receiving for 150 yards and 4 td's. very, very poor.

sanders: A+ brown: A+ Hines: F Wallace: D-

TE - Miller had a decent day, catching 5 passes for 39 yards and a td. he's left in to block on every play thanks to assfuk arians, otherwise, he would have caught 10 passes. B

OL - We allowed 6 sacks, 3 against terrell sucks and no adjustments were made to help out our LT who is a complete, total ******.

Pouncey: A, everyone else: F-

DE - Solid game, I'm gonna give piggy hood a B- because he did very little early in this season and I'm gonna hold it against him despite having a superb game.

Hood: B-, Everyone else: A

LB - Harrison had an OK game. He drew my rage when he only got 3 sacks, I mean, that's not bad though. Lemarr "Jason Gildong" woodley went in unblocked for a dong sack and finished with (hold your laughter) 1 tackle and 2 assists! Taunto farrior ,the winged god of linebacker coverage is my scapegoat and I'll give him a D- just because. He also was lucky boldin dropped a pass, he should be able to run with a WR and blanket him tbh. Timmons led the steelers with 7 solo tackles

Harrison: B, Timmons: A, Big LeMarr Jason Gildong Woodley: F-, Taunto Farrior: D-

DB - Ryan the doghumper clark, injured ike taylor instead of the ravens wr on a stupid, asinine, assaholic, borderline homosexual tom brady loving play. other than that, I suppose he did ok. he got a dong INT and was lucky that ray rice is a fag and fumbled the ball after ryan hit him. Ike had a solid game. Gay had a few passes defended but he's gay. Troy had a weak game but gets a C by default cause he's troy

Troy: C, Clark the doghumper: B, Ike: A, Gay: C-

DC: The dullard dick lebeau, gave up 126 yards against the #22 offense in the league. Why he allowed over 100 is beyond me. Prepared to see the gaytroits carve us like a halloween pumpkin! matter of fact, we shouldn't even play that game. I'm gonna celebrate now because our season is now over and I give up! D-

steelers33
01-16-2011, 03:10 PM
Lol he definately has his players who are in his doughouse, but I think his analysis are usually funny and have some accuracy. I don't know how many people visit stillers.com though. That was hilarious though, haha that was a great impersenation.

steelax04
01-16-2011, 03:23 PM
LOL... this was funny. The dullard dick lebeau... hahaha

mesaSteeler
01-16-2011, 04:16 PM
Just give folks a taste of the "insightful" analysis of the real stillMill. (Note I cleaned up the language a bit.
http://stillers.com/articles/2620.aspx

Grades:
"QB: Pumper Roethlisberger had a sht-laden 1H, punctuated by an assaholic play deep in his own territory, in which he pumped twice and clutched the ball forever, before being stripped of the ball by Suggs. With everyone on the field assuming it was an inc. pass, Balt recovered and ran it in for a TD. The fault on the play lies with Pumper Ben, who assaholicly pumped like a complete asspump."

or

"OC: Arians had a good 1st drive, moving 10 plays and 80 yards for a TD, even overcoming Ward’s personal foul & a 2nd & 19 early on.

That was about it. Arians shot his wad. Problems and boners were immense --

- on 3d & 11 early in the 2Q, Heath Miller was assigned to pass block as a side car RB, rather than, you know, being in the PATTERN. A pass to Wally was inc. Miller was forced into the janitorial duties several times in the game.

- after the 2MW in the 2Q (at 1:57), Ben hit Sanders in a curl. Unbelievably, the offense diddle-f'ed for eons of time, and finally, Balt called a timeout at 1:22. F'ing pitiful. Sanders grabbed his pass around 1:50. After the 2MW timeout, it should not take 20 seconds to get off the next play.

- Arians, the genius, tried ZERO screens to the RBs the entire 1H, despite facing a defense rushing pell-mell at the QB. For the game, he tried ONE, which gained 13 yards. Apparently, that wasn’t enough yardage to quench Arians’ thirst. RBs combined for ONE catch the entire game, which given their skills and the fact that RBs are a perfect tonic on checkdowns and swing passes, is just incomprehensible.

- The offense wasted not 1, but TWO timeouts in the 2H. The clock ran down to 0:05 on 3d & 6 at the Balt 8. Then, on the 3d & 19, the entire offense looked befuddled and Ben had to call a TO. Very sloppy.

The absolute worst, most unforgiving boner by Arians occurred right after Brown’s 58-yard bomb. With the score tied and the ball at the Balt 4, the Stiller took over on 1st down with 1:58 remaining. All they really had to do here was KNEEL on the ground 3 times, and worst case, take the FG while forcing the Ravens to waste all THREE timeouts. But in the words of Pittsburgh native and TV ad-meister Billy Mays, “But wait....!!” Assf Arians calls some clusterF pass play -- totally devoid of play-action, of course -- to Hines, which was chock full of confusion and stopped the clock at 1:55 after the incompletion. Completely fuking RETARDED !!!! Balt. had to use only 2 timeouts -- not 3 -- and was able to keep a precious TO in their pocket after the ensuing KO.

The fact that Arians was totally unprepared to chip block and help out on Suggs is just incomprehensible. C+ "

steeltheone
01-16-2011, 05:11 PM
I always read Mills article..

Fire Arians
01-16-2011, 05:14 PM
I always read Mills article..

haha me too, i'm a fan of his reviews, but i also like to poke fun of how he's overly critical on some players who are in his doghouse

harrison'samonster
01-16-2011, 06:23 PM
Yeah, that D. Lebeau, just don't know what people see in him. nice read