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View Full Version : A Texan, An Arab & a Guy From Michigan


Lyn
05-18-2006, 12:09 PM
A Texan, an Arab, and a guy from Michigan are out riding horses. The
Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a swig, then
another and suddenly throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and
shoots the bottle in mid air.
The Arab looks at him and says, "What are you doing? That was a
perfectly good bottle of whiskey! "The Texan says, "In Texas, there's
plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap,"

A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the Arab pulls out a bottle of
oil,throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it. The
guy from Michigan can't believe this and says, "What did you do that
for? That was a perfectly good bottle of Oil" The Arab says "In my
country there's plenty of oil and bottles are cheap."

So a while later the guy from Michigan pulls out a bottle of beer. He
opens it, takes a sip, takes another sip, and then chugs the rest. He
then puts the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, turns
around and shoots the Arab. The Texan, shocked, says, "Why did you do
that?" The guy from Michigan says,"Well, in Michigan, we have plenty of
Arabs, but bottles are worth a dime."

shimmysteelerfan
05-18-2006, 12:40 PM
hahahaha thats awesome!!!

Livinginthe past
05-18-2006, 12:46 PM
I dont know - thats pretty racist.

Am I the only one who thinks that?

NM

Suitanim
05-18-2006, 12:56 PM
I dont know - thats pretty racist.

Am I the only one who thinks that?

NM

No.... do hear that sound?

You don't...and there's a reason. That's the silence of all the people who DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR OPINION.

Livinginthe past
05-18-2006, 01:00 PM
I dont recall anyone asking for yours either.

Thats not how message boards work though is it?

Oh self proclaimed over-seer of Steelers Fever.

Have a nice day.

NM

Suitanim
05-18-2006, 01:12 PM
Thanks for being the PC patrol, douchebag. This is just ANOTHER example of you poking your nose around where it doesn't belong. And don't try any of your spin or diversion...We know you don't like Lyn, and to single this post out is just so typical of you, you hypocritical pompous blowhard.


Now run along and report me to the mods...let's get this over with.

ARKIESTEEL
05-18-2006, 01:41 PM
Hmmmm let me butt in I think the joke was funny and hip to todays times. As far as the pc thing goes I could care less and this is not me ganging up on the pats fan either. I know no one ask me and I also know I am new around here but I have read quit a bit of Lyn and Suitanim posts and found most of them to be on the level and forthright so here is rep points to both of you!!!

just my thoughts

Livinginthe past
05-18-2006, 01:45 PM
Thanks for being the PC patrol, douchebag. This is just ANOTHER example of you poking your nose around where it doesn't belong. And don't try any of your spin or diversion...We know you don't like Lyn, and to single this post out is just so typical of you, you hypocritical pompous blowhard.


Now run along and report me to the mods...let's get this over with.

Lets face facts here.

I offered an honest opinion to something posted on a public forum - I have no problem with Lyn.

You are in fact the one acting like a demented guard dog - if Lyn has a problem with my reply then I am sure she is adult enough to reply herself - I doubt she needs some self appointed minder to do her talking for her.

I am sure that people are beginning to realise what a bitter, twisted and obsessed individual you are - my response to this thread has nothing at all to do you - yet you choose to jump in yet again with unwarranted personal abuse.

I wont be responding any further to the lame nonsense you will no doubt conjure up.

Enjoy your day.

NM

Livinginthe past
05-18-2006, 01:46 PM
Hmmmm let me butt in I think the joke was funny and hip to todays times. As far as the pc thing goes I could care less and this is not me ganging up on the pats fan either. I know no one ask me and I also know I am new around here but I have read quit a bit of Lyn and Suitanim posts and found most of them to be on the level and forthright so here is rep points to both of you!!!

just my thoughts

Thats fine - each to his own - its a public forum.

My opinion is different to yours - that is life - the difference being we dont have to resort to personal abuse to get our points across to each other.

NM

Suitanim
05-18-2006, 02:33 PM
I dont know - thats pretty racist.

Am I the only one who thinks that?

NM

Hey, dumbass...see your quote? In bold? In FACT, by asking any and all's opinion, you also asked my opinion, and I gave it.

You are a broken record. You push too far, get called on it, act all nice for a few days, then start posting more and more inflamatory nonsense, then go too far and have to be reeled back in again. I just got sick of your shit while you were at the inflamatory stage this time.

Now run along and lodge your formal complaints...

83-Steelers-43
05-18-2006, 02:52 PM
I actually thougth it was pretty funny......my dad used to do business in Detroit, very true about the high arab population. Dearborn, Michigan in particular. That's not racist, that's the truth.

Lyn
05-18-2006, 02:54 PM
I certainly meant nothing racist. That word is not in my vocabulary I work across the street from Michigan State University and live 7 miles West of Michigan State, we do have an excessive number of Arabs around here so the joke was very funny to me. I am not used to walking on eggshells. If anyone was offended please know that offending ANYONE was not on my radar screen. Now LITP, please stop hijacking threads.

shimmysteelerfan
05-18-2006, 03:00 PM
i dont think it was offensive at all, it made my day! reps to you for the funny lyn!!

Lyn
05-18-2006, 03:16 PM
I actually thougth it was pretty funny......my dad used to do business in Detroit, very true about the high arab population. Dearborn, Michigan in particular. That's not racist, that's the truth.


Actually, I think I read or heard somewhere that Dearborn/Detriot area has the largest Arab population in the United States. That may have changed. (I hope that is not a racist remark)

Livinginthe past
05-18-2006, 03:53 PM
I certainly meant nothing racist. That word is not in my vocabulary I work across the street from Michigan State University and live 7 miles West of Michigan State, we do have an excessive number of Arabs around here so the joke was very funny to me. I am not used to walking on eggshells. If anyone was offended please know that offending ANYONE was not on my radar screen. Now LITP, please stop hijacking threads.

Well Lyn,

Hijacking a thread is the action of taking it off topic - I certainly didnt do that.

When you say something like "excessive number of Arabs" it sounds as if you dont like them very much.

If you say thats not the case...then fine.

How about if you put the word 'black' or 'african-american' in place of the word 'arab' - to me that doesnt sound very good - but like I say, thats just me.

A Texan, an African American, and a guy from Michigan are out riding horses. The
Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a swig, then
another and suddenly throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and
shoots the bottle in mid air.
The African American looks at him and says, "What are you doing? That was a
perfectly good bottle of whiskey! "The Texan says, "In Texas, there's
plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap,"

A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the African American pulls out a bottle of
oil,throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it. The
guy from Michigan can't believe this and says, "What did you do that
for? That was a perfectly good bottle of Oil" The African American says "In my
country there's plenty of oil and bottles are cheap."

So a while later the guy from Michigan pulls out a bottle of beer. He
opens it, takes a sip, takes another sip, and then chugs the rest. He
then puts the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, turns
around and shoots the African American. The Texan, shocked, says, "Why did you do
that?" The guy from Michigan says,"Well, in Michigan, we have plenty of
African Americans, but bottles are worth a dime."


NM

Suitanim
05-18-2006, 03:55 PM
A variation? Trying to skip over the reprimand and head right into the "Hey, I'm really a nice guy" schtick?

Spin and diversion...

Lyn
05-18-2006, 04:16 PM
You know dude..............I have no idea what the hell I would do without you explaining what things mean. So that is what hyjacking a thread means............amazing, your intelligence level never fails to astound me. Get a life.

Suitanim
05-19-2006, 06:46 AM
Hey, leave him alone! Don't you know he's just a nice innocent guy? He's NEVER been wrong ...ever, just like Jesus.

(For all the LEGITIMATE posters on this board, I have to apologize. I try to ignore this arrogant and condescending ******* as long as I can, but, invariably, the bullshit piles up too high and I need a little cathartic release.)

Lyn
05-19-2006, 10:22 AM
I am sure that LITP is a really nice guy. I just find him to be a bit picky, I never have nor would I ever intentionally offend ANYONE. However, he is a Patriot fan on a Steeler fan board (although before you correct me, allow me to point out that I am fully aware that everyone is welcome here) and when he feels the need to give his almighty opinion on what Steeler fans should think and should or should not do, that does genuinely irk me. It is not what he says, it is how almighty it comes across. Welcome to the cyberworld, eh? Our emotions do not overflow onto the keyboard and sometimes what we mean comes out a whole lot different. I would love to meet all of you in person, including LITP.

Hammer67
05-19-2006, 10:29 AM
I dont know - thats pretty racist.

Am I the only one who thinks that?

NM


Probably...

To me, it looked like a joke. And living in Detroit, a funny one at that!!!:sofunny:

Lighten up people...life is too short.:rolleyes:

Hammer67
05-19-2006, 10:31 AM
Well Lyn,

Hijacking a thread is the action of taking it off topic - I certainly didnt do that.

When you say something like "excessive number of Arabs" it sounds as if you dont like them very much.

If you say thats not the case...then fine.

How about if you put the word 'black' or 'african-american' in place of the word 'arab' - to me that doesnt sound very good - but like I say, thats just me.

A Texan, an African American, and a guy from Michigan are out riding horses. The
Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a swig, then
another and suddenly throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and
shoots the bottle in mid air.
The African American looks at him and says, "What are you doing? That was a
perfectly good bottle of whiskey! "The Texan says, "In Texas, there's
plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap,"

A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the African American pulls out a bottle of
oil,throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it. The
guy from Michigan can't believe this and says, "What did you do that
for? That was a perfectly good bottle of Oil" The African American says "In my
country there's plenty of oil and bottles are cheap."

So a while later the guy from Michigan pulls out a bottle of beer. He
opens it, takes a sip, takes another sip, and then chugs the rest. He
then puts the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, turns
around and shoots the African American. The Texan, shocked, says, "Why did you do
that?" The guy from Michigan says,"Well, in Michigan, we have plenty of
African Americans, but bottles are worth a dime."


NM



Yup...still pretty funny. :busted:

Hammer67
05-19-2006, 10:32 AM
I certainly meant nothing racist. That word is not in my vocabulary I work across the street from Michigan State University and live 7 miles West of Michigan State, we do have an excessive number of Arabs around here so the joke was very funny to me. I am not used to walking on eggshells. If anyone was offended please know that offending ANYONE was not on my radar screen. Now LITP, please stop hijacking threads.


Don't worry Lyn...it was a joke, and it was funny. I don't get upset when I hear Irish jokes about drinking and fighting. You know why???

BECAUSE IT'S A ****ING JOKE!!!!:dang: :bouncy:

pitt
05-19-2006, 12:33 PM
The joke was funny.

clevestinks
05-19-2006, 02:09 PM
I don`t think it is racist! Its a joke. Hillbillies, pollocks, southerners, hippes, all jokes need a punch line.

83-Steelers-43
05-19-2006, 03:08 PM
Speaking of funny stuff....classic on right now. Blazing Saddles.

"Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen."

Stlrs4Life
05-19-2006, 04:23 PM
LOL!~ Good one!

Hammer67
05-20-2006, 01:28 PM
Speaking of funny stuff....classic on right now. Blazing Saddles.

"Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen."


That movie is a classic. But don't watch it if this joke offended you! Your head might explode with al the political incorrectness! :bouncy:

BBC
05-20-2006, 02:02 PM
LITP and Suit, you do know that this site has an ignore feature available, right? Both of you seem like educated guys, and I enjoy reading both of your posts, but I think that everyone is getting a little tired of the constant bitching between you two.

Suitanim
05-20-2006, 08:18 PM
LITP and Suit, you do know that this site has an ignore feature available, right? Both of you seem like educated guys, and I enjoy reading both of your posts, but I think that everyone is getting a little tired of the constant bitching between you two.


Too bad you've only been around for a few months...

Livinginthe past
05-20-2006, 09:31 PM
LITP and Suit, you do know that this site has an ignore feature available, right? Both of you seem like educated guys, and I enjoy reading both of your posts, but I think that everyone is getting a little tired of the constant bitching between you two.

At the risk of being politically correct BBC I dont actually want any of these ridiculous 'bitching' sessions.

I'd like to be able to post whats on my mind without the stupidity that follows.

NM

3 to be 4
05-20-2006, 09:45 PM
"Oh Boy, this is great"
- Flounder in "Animal House"

Suitanim
05-20-2006, 09:47 PM
At the risk of being politically correct BBC I dont actually want any of these ridiculous 'bitching' sessions.

I'd like to be able to post whats on my mind without the stupidity that follows.

NM

You've almost got it...try:

"I'd like to post my stupidity, without the repercussions and responses of those who are older, wiser, and more sane than me".

But you can't have that, beacuse there are people who are older, wiser, and more sane than you on the board.

Lyn
05-21-2006, 11:21 AM
At the risk of being politically correct BBC I dont actually want any of these ridiculous 'bitching' sessions.

I'd like to be able to post whats on my mind without the stupidity that follows.

NM


That may be what you want at the moment, but reread your posts. You do come across as being, in your opinion, some kind of a schlor, which clearly you are not. You are a man who has his ideas, like we all do and that is just exactly what they are your ideas. Give your opinions, but stop there do not try to make others believe you are self rightous and your way is the way

Livinginthe past
05-21-2006, 11:36 AM
That may be what you want at the moment, but reread your posts. You do come across as being, in your opinion, some kind of a schlor, which clearly you are not. You are a man who has his ideas, like we all do and that is just exactly what they are your ideas. Give your opinions, but stop there do not try to make others believe you are self rightous and your way is the way

I dont think that I try to tell people how to think.

All I do is offer my thoughts on different subjects - one thing you will rarely, if ever, find me doing is telling people what they can and can't post.

I may not agree with what a certain post contains, but I am not a believer in censorship.

NM

Lyn
05-21-2006, 12:08 PM
I dont think that I try to tell people how to think.

All I do is offer my thoughts on different subjects - one thing you will rarely, if ever, find me doing is telling people what they can and can't post.

I may not agree with what a certain post contains, but I am not a believer in censorship.

NM

You are definitely getting better let's hope you do not revert :)

BBC
05-21-2006, 03:18 PM
Too bad you've only been around for a few months...

Exactly. Someone that has only been around for a few months is sick of it, imagine someone that has been here as long as you have.

Hammer67
05-22-2006, 07:06 AM
Too bad you've only been around for a few months...


I thnk that was a shot!:kick:

Suitanim
05-23-2006, 08:57 AM
Exactly. Someone that has only been around for a few months is sick of it, imagine someone that has been here as long as you have.

If only all the other members who have been here longer and actually KNOW the full exposition could be as enlightened as you...:rolleyes:

BBC
05-23-2006, 09:54 AM
If only all the other members who have been here longer and actually KNOW the full exposition could be as enlightened as you...:rolleyes:

Whatever man, I don't care to know the full situtation between you two, I'm sure it is a very long story. You're both great posters, but it seems that whenever you are in the same thread, it just becomes a bunch of bickering back and forth between each other.

Suitanim
05-23-2006, 10:10 AM
Whatever man, I don't care to know the full situtation between you two, I'm sure it is a very long story. You're both great posters, but it seems that whenever you are in the same thread, it just becomes a bunch of bickering back and forth between each other.

I'll give you the Cliff's notes. He's supposed to stay out of my threads, and I'm supposed to stay out of his, as per the mods. Not censorship, not playing favorites, just stay out of each others threads. He's already been given one 3 day vacation over this, and yet he continues to disrespect the board, it's rules, and the very clearly defined wishes of the owner and moderators.

It's SUCH a simple request, but, due to some personal problems of his, he finds it impossible to comply...so, sadly, I'm afraid until he either complies or is banned, you'll simply have to suffer along with the rest of us in the interim.

83-Steelers-43
05-23-2006, 04:33 PM
:coffee:

Hammer67
05-23-2006, 04:35 PM
Whatever man, I don't care to know the full situtation between you two, I'm sure it is a very long story. You're both great posters, but it seems that whenever you are in the same thread, it just becomes a bunch of bickering back and forth between each other.


Dude...it's entertainment. Otherwise forums would be boring! It's like watching a Nascar race...why bother if there is no chance of a great wreck?

Nobody gets hurt and people get to blow off steam into anonymous cyberspace. Let 'em play.:boxing:

83-Steelers-43
05-23-2006, 04:45 PM
Fresh from her shower, the woman stood in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts were too small.

Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, she fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asked.

"They will grow larger over a period of years," her husband replies.

I stopped.

"Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your ass, didn't it?"

Suitanim
05-23-2006, 09:54 PM
Dude...it's entertainment. Otherwise forums would be boring! It's like watching a Nascar race...why bother if there is no chance of a great wreck?

Nobody gets hurt and people get to blow off steam into anonymous cyberspace. Let 'em play.:boxing:

Nope, can't have that either. I migrated from a board that LITP would have lasted about 15 minutes at. We play rough over there, and, when I started to beat him up too much, he cried. No, we can't let it go, because he can't hang, but we can't stop it, because he wants to still try to play hit and run then hide behind rules that had to be created because he couldn't hang in the first place.

Catch-22.

3 to be 4
05-23-2006, 10:48 PM
I don`t think it is racist! Its a joke. Hillbillies, pollocks, southerners, hippes, all jokes need a punch line.


Arabs. "Hijacking a thread". Cant believe that was missed:sofunny:

3 to be 4
05-23-2006, 10:50 PM
Speaking of funny stuff....classic on right now. Blazing Saddles.

"Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen."


"Someone go back and get a shitload of dimes"

"What in the wide world of sports is going on here"

"Im paying you guys to lay some track, not dance around like a bunch of Kansas City ******s"

uh-oh, that wasnt very PC.