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View Full Version : Bungals, Clowns, and Ratbird jokes...got any?


shimmysteelerfan
05-23-2006, 02:50 PM
Im lookin for some good jokes on the so called "competition" we have in afc north.

How do you keep a Bengal out of your backyard?

Put up a goal post

blackvelvet
05-23-2006, 02:58 PM
ah, there's a lot, i know there are a lot on this site, but let me share this one with everyone. i dunno if anyone's heard it or if it's on this site:

Die-Hard Football Fans Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon . . .

. . . a Cowboys fan, a Packers fan, a Browns fan, and a Steelers fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die-hard" fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Cowboys fan proclaimed to the other four... "This is for the Dallas Cowboys!" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Cowboys fan, the Packers fan jumped up and said..."This is for the Green Bay Packers!" and then threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Refusing to be outdone by the Cowboy and Packer fans, the Steelers fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs "This is for the Pittsburgh Steelers!" and without any hesitation, pushed the Cleveland Browns fan off the mountain.

shimmysteelerfan
05-23-2006, 03:15 PM
AWESOME......that is bad ass!

Ohio Steeler
05-23-2006, 03:21 PM
The Cleveland Browns football team hasn't been doing well lately. The
following photocopy, discovered on a bulletin board somewhere, was no
doubt drafted by bitter fans when the team lost one game 42-0. Or
maybe it was after the coach was fired the following week...


CLEVELAND BROWNS
Football Schedule 1990
----------------------

September 12 Dayton Junior High School
September 19 Cub Scout Troop No. 101
September 26 Ohio Academy for the Blind
October 3 Crippled Childrens' Home
October 17 St. George Home for Wayward Girls
October 21 Girl Scout Troop No. 69
November 1 Ohio V.D. Clinic Post #3
November 7 Akron Boys Choir
November 14 Korean War Amputees
November 21 VA Hospital Polio Patients

Rule Changes From Last Year
---------------------------
1. When playing the polio patients, the Browns must not disconnect any
leg braces.
2. When playing the girl scouts, the Browns must not eat their cookies.
3. When playing the blind academy, the Browns must not hide the
football in their jerseys.
4. When playing the Korean War Amputees, the Browns must not file any
protests about players with one leg being harder to tackle.

Rules the Same as Last Year
---------------------------
1. A Browns touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the
goal-line for all you fans who have never seen one) is still worth
21 points.
2. The Browns will be allowed 27 men on the field at all times.
3. The Browns will be allowed to substitute with band members at any
time during the course of the game.

Name Changes
------------
The Cleveland Browns name will be changed to the Cleveland Tampons,
as they are good for one period only and don't have a second string.

Coaching Changes
----------------
Bud will be replaced by Linda Lovelace. She will no doubt blow a few
but she won't choke on the big ones.

Ohio Steeler
05-23-2006, 03:22 PM
Cincinnati Bengals Jokes
Q. What's the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals & the Taliban?

A. The Taliban has a running game



Q. What do the Cincinnati Bengals & Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up & yell "Jesus Christ" !



Q. How do you keep a Cincinnati Bengal out of your yard?

A. Put up goal posts



Q. Where do you go in case of a tornado?

A. The Paul Brown Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!



Q. What do you call a Cincinnati Bengal with a SuperBowl Championship ring?

A. A thief



Q. Why doesn't Dayton Ohio have a professional football team?

A. Because then Cincinnati would want one



Q. Why was Dick LeBeau upset when the Cincinnati Bengals' playbook was
stolen?

A. Because he hadn't finished coloring it.



Q. What's the difference between the Cincinnati Bengals and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar



Q. How many Cincinnati Bengals does it take to win a Superbowl?

A. Mike Brown has no idea! -- and we may never know either!



Q. What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the NFL playoffs?

A. The Cincinnati Bengals



Q. What do the Cincinnati Bengals and possums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road



Q. How can you tell when the Cincinnati Bengals are going to run the
football?

A. The back leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes

Ohio Steeler
05-23-2006, 03:28 PM
There was a little boy whose parents were getting a divorce. He had to testify in court and while he was on the stand, the judge asked him who he wanted to live with.

The little boy answered, "I don't know." The judge was confused and asked, "Well, what about your dad?" The little boy said, "No, he beats me."

The judge then said, "Well how about your mother?" "No, she beats me too," replies the little boy.

The judge is confused and looks at the boy and again he asks, "So, who do you want to live with?"

The little boy looks the judge in the eye and says, "I want to live with the Browns because they don't beat anyone."

Ohio Steeler
05-23-2006, 03:30 PM
Football practice was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours for the Browns. While on his way to the locker room, one of the players happened to look down and noticed a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

The head coach immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis,the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Ohio Steeler
05-23-2006, 03:31 PM
A guy from Nebraska, a guy from Cleveland, and a guy from Pittsburgh are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The guy from Nebraska says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska." With a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.

The guy from Cleveland was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall built around Ohio, so that no Steeler fans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Ohio.

The Steeler fan says, "I'm curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

The Steeler fan says, "Fill it up with water."

Ohio Steeler
05-23-2006, 03:33 PM
A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry. No pets allowed."
The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Browns game and you'll see."
The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.
The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Browns score, my dog does flips." The Browns keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Browns score a touchdown?"
The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years!"

SteelCityMan786
05-23-2006, 04:44 PM
What do the Bengals, Ratbirds, and the Browns have in common with Saddam Hussein?

THEY GOT CAUGHT!

RoethlisBURGHer
05-23-2006, 06:20 PM
Two kids are playing ice hockey in Pittsburgh and a rabid Pittbull runs onto the rink and tries to attack one of the kids.The other kid sticks his hockey stick in the collar of the dog and *snap* breaks the dog's neck.

A reporter who witnessed it runs over to interview the boy and writes on his notepad "Penguins Fan Saved Friend."

The boy says that he isn't a Penguins fan.

The writer then jots down "Fan of the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers saves friend's life".

The little boy then says that he isn't a Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers fan.

The reporter then asks him what team he is a fan of.

The boy replies,"the Cleveland Browns."

The reporter writes "Bastard Browns Fan Killes Beloved Family Pet."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

School starts for first graders in Cincinatti and the teacher walks in and proclaims "boys and girls,I am a Baltimore Ravens fan.Is anyone else in here a Ravens fan?"

Wanting to impress thier new teacher,everyone but little Bobby raises his hand.When the teacher sees this,she asks Bobby what team he is a fan of.

Bobby replies,"Ma'am,I am a Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers fan."

The teacher then asks him why and he replies that is is because his parents are both Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steeler fans.

The teacher then says,"well what if your mom was a ***** and your dad a drug dealer?"

Little Bobby then answers,"then I would be a Baltimore Ravens fan."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three men are caught drinking smuggled booze in Saudi Arabia;a Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers fan,a Cowboys fan,and a Bengals fan.When caught,they are taken to jail and each are given then punishment of 100 lashes with a wet whip,however each is given one wish before he recieves his lashes.

The Cowboys fan wishes for a pillow to be tied to his back.After 25 lashes the pillow is gone and he ends up with 75 lashes to his back.

The Browns fan asks for two pillows to be tied to his back.After 50 lashes,the pillows are gone and he ends up with fifty lashes on his back.

When it comes time for the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers fan to make his wish,he wishes for the Browns fan to be ties to his back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you call a Cleveland Brown with a Super Bowl Championship ring?A thief.

SteelerzGirl
05-23-2006, 08:13 PM
The Bungals, Clowns, and Ratbirds in and of themselves are joke enough...(lol). :smile:

Funny stuff, guys! Thanks for posting them.

Blitzburgh55
05-27-2006, 09:15 PM
What do you call the bengals trying to win the Super Bowl: Mission Impossible

MattsMe
05-27-2006, 11:35 PM
Bud will be replaced by Linda Lovelace. She will no doubt blow a few
but she won't choke on the big ones.

:sofunny: Maybe the Colts should use her in the playoffs. :sofunny: