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View Full Version : Things to Do If You're Ever Bored Stuck In A Hospital


blackvelvet
06-05-2006, 01:07 PM
* some are based on real-life experiences

Watch car chases on CNN

Lead sing-a-longs with your roommate (although I couldn't, i didn't bring my guitar with me)

Have bed races (they come with wheels! but, there wasn't room for racing)

Have wheelchair races (i've never actually seen this, but i know it's classic. you can't make a list like this without including that)

Get a good workout: walk around the hospital with an IV machine attached to you. (in order to get out of the hospital, one of the things I had to do was walk around the floor i was on. But they wouldn't take my IV out.)

Discuss the Steelers (of course!)

Do linear equations (avoid this if you can. There's a long story behind this.)

Enjoy the nice veiw of Oakland, especially at night (I'll admit it, i'm not a city girl at all, i found everything going on in Pittsburgh at night fascintating, with all the car horn honking, the yelling. (plus, i couldn't go to sleep))

Amaze people with your ability to pick up a phone (again, long story behind this.)

well, you know the drill. If you can add anything, do so

Mosca
06-05-2006, 03:22 PM
Or,

Hit the morphine pump every 20 minutes for two days...

I know, I was just in for 4 days last month.


Tom

blackvelvet
06-05-2006, 03:57 PM
Or,

Hit the morphine pump every 20 minutes for two days...




Tom

That could explain why i threw up when they put morphine in me...

Mosca
06-05-2006, 05:25 PM
It does that to some people. I'm OK with it, though. Walking with the I/V is fun.

I had a cancerous kidney removed; what were you in for?


Tom

3 to be 4
06-05-2006, 07:45 PM
When i was in the hospital once in Boston i had the most georgeous intern putting that gel on me and attaching stuff ( i had some chest pains, turned out to be just some stretched muscles from the one time in my life i excercised)

that night when the coast was clear, all hooked up to stuff, i had to wank it. then i had to drag myself with all my contraptions into the shitter to clean up.

absolutely the weirdest place i ever did that. well, maybe my father dentists office in the waiting room when i was 9. its a close call.

tony hipchest
06-05-2006, 07:53 PM
When i was in the hospital once in Boston i had the most georgeous intern putting that gel on me and attaching stuff ( i had some chest pains, turned out to be just some stretched muscles from the one time in my life i excercised)

that night when the coast was clear, all hooked up to stuff, i had to wank it. then i had to drag myself with all my contraptions into the shitter to clean up.

absolutely the weirdest place i ever did that. well, maybe my father dentists office in the waiting room when i was 9. its a close call.

:sofunny: :sofunny: :sofunny: this may be the most hilarious and TMI post i have ever read. good stuff!

3 to be 4
06-05-2006, 08:10 PM
it sure would make a great thread, huh?

tony hipchest
06-05-2006, 08:25 PM
it sure would make a great thread, huh? a great thread indeed. although replace "wank it" with "done it", cause my more obscure endeavors have happened with a lady involved. (although wanking it in a giant church while vaccuuming the place for community service as a kid would definitely apply)

SteelerzGirl
06-05-2006, 08:35 PM
When i was in the hospital once in Boston i had the most georgeous intern putting that gel on me and attaching stuff ( i had some chest pains, turned out to be just some stretched muscles from the one time in my life i excercised)

that night when the coast was clear, all hooked up to stuff, i had to wank it. then i had to drag myself with all my contraptions into the shitter to clean up.

absolutely the weirdest place i ever did that. well, maybe my father dentists office in the waiting room when i was 9. its a close call.

Ewww... I did not need to know that! :sofunny:

HburgXL06
06-05-2006, 09:29 PM
-Watch Jay Leno "Headlines."

-Have them turn up the epidural (sp) until you can't feel anythin below your waist (sorry couldn't even feel that area let alone wank it, not that I was lucky enough to have a hot nurse to get that feelin).

-Sleeeeeeeeeep (great time to catch up on sleepin and be lazy)

BuFu

3 to be 4
06-05-2006, 09:41 PM
a great thread indeed. although replace "wank it" with "done it", cause my more obscure endeavors have happened with a lady involved. (although wanking it in a giant church while vaccuuming the place for community service as a kid would definitely apply)


alright Tony, THATS what im talking about!

tony hipchest
06-05-2006, 09:51 PM
alright Tony, THATS what im talking about! it was a methodist church. does that make it better or worse?

3 to be 4
06-05-2006, 09:52 PM
it was a methodist church. does that make it better or worse?

im not the one to judge, i'll leave it to man upstairs, Father Tynan

tony hipchest
06-05-2006, 10:10 PM
im not the one to judge, i'll leave it to man upstairs, Father Tynanits actually a quite funny story. i was riding my skateboard in the concrete strip by the curb on a street that had no sidewalks, on a holiday, with absolutely no traffic, except for the cop who was probably bored while on patrol. he flashed the lights, pulled me over (on a skateboard no less) and proceded to write me a ticket. fine? 4 hours of community service. the methodist church was the closest to my house, therefore the one i attended, and volunteered to serve my time at. and what does a 14 year old kid do with a whole church all to himself? repent for his sins of riding a skateboard? oh no! rebel is the only answer.

i also took out my moms cat stevens album and scratched run dmc style on the record player while recording my own style of pre "**** tha police", i hate the world rap song. i got took to counciling when my parents found it. damn i wish i knew where that tape is today. it would be good for a few laughs. stupid kids.

but as far as hospital stays goes, catching up on the game show "press your luck" is my only memorable moment.

HburgXL06
06-05-2006, 10:23 PM
its actually a quite funny story. i was riding my skateboard in the concrete strip by the curb on a street that had no sidewalks, on a holiday, with absolutely no traffic, except for the cop who was probably bored while on patrol. he flashed the lights, pulled me over (on a skateboard no less) and proceded to write me a ticket. fine? 4 hours of community service. the methodist church was the closest to my house, therefore the one i attended, and volunteered to serve my time at. and what does a 14 year old kid do with a whole church all to himself? repent for his sins of riding a skateboard? oh no! rebel is the only answer.

i also took out my moms cat stevens album and scratched run dmc style on the record player while recording my own style of pre "**** tha police", i hate the world rap song. i got took to counciling when my parents found it. damn i wish i knew where that tape is today. it would be good for a few laughs. stupid kids.

but as far as hospital stays goes, catching up on the game show "press your luck" is my only memorable moment.

Lol. Great story! I wish I could hear that tape. At school the cops have pulled over people for just walkin on the sidewalk (they were not walkin very well if you know what I mean).

BuFu

3 to be 4
06-05-2006, 10:25 PM
its actually a quite funny story. i was riding my skateboard in the concrete strip by the curb on a street that had no sidewalks, on a holiday, with absolutely no traffic, except for the cop who was probably bored while on patrol. he flashed the lights, pulled me over (on a skateboard no less) and proceded to write me a ticket. fine? 4 hours of community service. the methodist church was the closest to my house, therefore the one i attended, and volunteered to serve my time at. and what does a 14 year old kid do with a whole church all to himself? repent for his sins of riding a skateboard? oh no! rebel is the only answer.

i also took out my moms cat stevens album and scratched run dmc style on the record player while recording my own style of pre "**** tha police", i hate the world rap song. i got took to counciling when my parents found it. damn i wish i knew where that tape is today. it would be good for a few laughs. stupid kids.

but as far as hospital stays goes, catching up on the game show "press your luck" is my only memorable moment.


me and an ex-girlfriend chickened out on our plan to do it in a pew in a church in San Antonio in 1987. You know, those early days, when you want to go at it constantly?
i forgot who got cold feet more, her or me, but MAN what a story that could have been.

hmmmmm. how about a "most shameful choice of a sex partner you ever ....
OH YEAH!

blackvelvet
06-06-2006, 06:51 AM
It does that to some people. I'm OK with it, though. Walking with the I/V is fun.

I had a cancerous kidney removed; what were you in for?


Tom

I went in thinking it was appendicitis, but it ended up being a cyst or whatever, but they had to take it out, or it would have exploded. I don't know what would have happened if it had exploded, but it couldn't have been anything good. (well, actually, I know that they'd have to take something out, an organ that I don't want to share with the rest of the board)

blackvelvet
06-06-2006, 06:55 AM
[QUOTE=HburgXL06
-Sleeeeeeeeeep (great time to catch up on sleepin and be lazy)

BuFu[/QUOTE]

I agree with you 100%. They woke me up every two hours, then they wake us up at 3 a.m. to tell us the surgery procedure (how about telling us when we're fully awake?).

HburgXL06
06-06-2006, 09:58 AM
I agree with you 100%. They woke me up every two hours, then they wake us up at 3 a.m. to tell us the surgery procedure (how about telling us when we're fully awake?).

Yea, I feel you on that. They tell you all this stuff when you are least ready to understand it (not that you would anyway). They prolly do that to prevent patients questionin them.

"Ok Mr. Smith we are gonna begin the surgery with *add vague verbiage riddled explanation for the next ten minutes* and then if all goes well, which it should everythin will be peachy. How does that all sound to you?"

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz,......huh? What? Who are you?"

"Ok, glad to hear you're ok with it. Nurse, time to take the patient to the O.R."

BuFu

blackvelvet
06-06-2006, 03:30 PM
Although i could think of a million other things that I'd rather do besides sit in a hospital, I do have to say, it wasn't all that bad. I went the morning after the Steelers/Browns game (the first one, not the Christmas Eve one) and that's all anyone was talking about, since Charlie Batch broke his and Ben was still out, you know the whole story. Well anyway, they're asking me questions like "Where does it hurt?" and stuff like that. Well the doctor asked me, "When did it start hurting?" From there, it went down like this:

Me: Oh, around eight thirty, around the kickoff of the Browns game.
Doctor: I see. (in serious tone) And was the pain more intense when they out Maddox in?
Me: I think we ALL started hurting when that happened. (my parents and my aunt who came were all laughing at this point)
Sorry, i had to share that with all of you

tony hipchest
06-06-2006, 04:50 PM
Me: Oh, around eight thirty, around the kickoff of the Browns game.
Doctor: I see. (in serious tone) And was the pain more intense when they out Maddox in?
Me: I think we ALL started hurting when that happened.
:sofunny: good one!