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Suitanim
06-16-2006, 07:56 PM
Since I've obviously been in a particularly foul mood the last couple of days, and I've even caught a few innocents in the crossfire, I thought I'd start my own little rant thread to try and contain my angst, maybe exercise some catharsis, and possibly prevent any more collateral damage (Sorry can'tstop85). It may make me feel better to vent a tad...and hopefully Tony and a few others can make me laugh about how silly all this shit really is anyway...

First off, WTF is up with women nowadays? Are there any sane women between the ages of say, 28-35 that live around me (I exclude the several women on this board who seem nice and normal, but also live 100 freaking miles away from me!)? I've met, chatted with and dated a few since my last doomed-from-the-start relationship crashed and burned, and it's been a dismally depressing exercise in futility. So far, it seems like dating in 2006 is comprised of spending a lot of money to have women lie to you.

Someone put a ding in my door a couple weeks ago. My car isn't brand new, and was recently wrecked, but until last week didn't have a single dent or ding in it. As I look out my window, I have it parked all the way out in the visitors parking where no one ever parks, and I'm quite chagrined to find that some ******* with a ****ing Nissan Sentra has parked RIGHT next to my Lincoln LS. There are 5 open spots on either side of me, yet he needs to park his sub-compact shitbox 12 inches from my car? Why?

Why is gas still $3.00 a gallon? I thought we won the "War for Oil"? Even though I get a stipend for gas, demand has outstripped supply, and I'm paying out of pocket now. I need that money I'm wasting on gas to take women out on expensive dates so they can tell me a bunch of stuff that isn't true.

I'd love to go on, but I've got to head down to "Rockin' on the River" so I can buy all the drinks for a girl who'll tell me she's 25 and single with no kids and is named Lisa, but who's really 32, married with 3 kids living at home and is named Shelly.

tony hipchest
06-16-2006, 08:22 PM
glad to indulge in the rant

i always see fine girls at wal-mart and always think how the grass is greener on the other side, but then i remember "wait.... im at wal-mart". women nowadays seem to be into this bi sexual toung piercing thing. more for her than for him. its bad enough worrying if the girl who was so loose with you from the beginning will be even looser with another dude, let alone another sex.

and ive met (and dated) lisa. she is a super hot breeding machine but she lives off either welfare or her ex-husbands child support/ alimony. she has been slapped around way too many times for how fine she is, but is definitely damaged goods who flips out at the most unpredictable times, leaving you to wonder "what the hell did i say or do wrong?" psychologists and marriage councilors cant figure these ones out.

while i havent paid for gas in over 6 years i still love to bitch about the prices and how with our ongoing war the iraqis should give us free gas for in exchange for their freedom. it should be about $1.50 by now atleast.

the price of cigs is killing me. good thing we havent invaded turkey or a pack of camels would be 7 bucks by now.

CAH
06-16-2006, 10:05 PM
Holy Cow!!!! I think I'm gonna cry. :rolleyes:

:violin: :violin: :violin: :violin: :violin: :violin:

Lyn
06-16-2006, 11:50 PM
On the flip side of that coin is the young woman gainfully employed, very attractive, who can not find a decent man. What is decent? Educated, gainfully employed, with some class.

MaryJane had gotten so used to her little routine. She was fine. She got up went to work, came home checked her child's homework, made dinner, got on the computer and wrote about politics or the steelers or just life in general. Whatever she could be entertained with by this little box that when she typed something, she got an interaction from someone.

Her coworkers and everyone else that she knows goes home and has a plan with their family, "We're going out to dinner." "We are going to try to get the pool ready tonight." "We are adding a bedroom off the patio." "We are going to plant some flowers."

MaryJane has no WE. She has a ME. She has no plan. She has a routine. She hasn't had a plan for 5 years. She just wants to cook dinner for someone other than her child. She wants to cuddle up with someone on the couch, talk about their day and watch the evening news with someone.

She wants to find a man who tells her how madly he loves her and mean it, that would be a man who does not have a wife Monday thru Friday and she is the weekend mistress. She places an ad, protraying herself as honestly as she can, she tries to weed out guys that are just there looking for a p***e of a** as the wildchild of yester year has grown up.
30 responded, 25 wanted something she was not willing to give out and 4 of them could not write a simple sentence. She is not a snob she just requires someone she can have an intelligentent conversation on a wide variety of issues. If someone cannot write something in the form of a simple sentence.......ummmmmmmm goodbye.

Then enter stage left Shannon WOW!

His profile stated long term relationship, first date did not elude to sex, he could write a sentence and spell things properly and he was funny! He emailed her and she didn't respond, the playoffs and the superbowl were consuming her time. She had time to contact him, she just did not want to be hurt again. She thought all of her pep talk preparation of "don't let your guard down" would vaporize the instant she saw him, so she put herself in a position to not see him until things in her life settled down. She was reactionary because she has heard, "Why can't we be friends ?" Then he adds, "It's not you, it is me." This is chapter and verse of what she has heard before and it is like grinding salt forcefully into an open flesh wound. Though it may really, really, really be true it still hurts like hell. Why does she have to be measured with the women of the past? She is not <insert her name here> but yet somehow she is punished because of whatever she did to <insert his name here>. MaryJane will not wait around for him to "get things in order', just being his friend feels like winning 3rd place in the beauty pagent and the rice a roni prize behind door # 3.

The wall is up between both sexes. Why can't everyone be honest? Why can't a person be themselve? How long is it going to be before all men and all women react to the cravings of a real relationship built on trust? Does acting "cool" keep men warm at night?

MattsMe
06-17-2006, 01:20 AM
:coffee:

MattsMe
06-17-2006, 01:28 AM
i always see fine girls at wal-mart and always think how the grass is greener on the other side, but then i remember "wait.... im at wal-mart".

:sofunny: You've done this too? Yet another reason I try to avoid wal-mart at all costs.

and ive met (and dated) lisa. she is a super hot breeding machine but she lives off either welfare or her ex-husbands child support/ alimony. she has been slapped around way too many times for how fine she is, but is definitely damaged goods who flips out at the most unpredictable times, leaving you to wonder "what the hell did i say or do wrong?" psychologists and marriage councilors cant figure these ones out.

Don't talk about my ex-girlfriend like that!


I have one to add to this list.
Why are psychotic wackjobs always really good in bed?
I mean really, what the hell's going on?

3 to be 4
06-17-2006, 01:59 AM
im telling you guys. you want to find a nice girl, go where the nice girls are.

they are the ones at the off-peak hours church services. Because they are there because they are sincere and have clean motives. Dont go if you are just looking for thrills. They wont fall for your crap anyway.

BUT, if you are serious about finding a quality partner to share your life with you wont find a better place.

lamberts-lost-tooth
06-17-2006, 05:39 AM
:sofunny:
Why are psychotic wackjobs always really good in bed?
I mean really, what the hell's going on?



*case in point*

I was in college and used to date a girl with a very cute friend named Sherry...Well, like a year after me and my girlfriend break up...I run into Sherry at a bar and the two of us end up going to an after hours party. We have a good time, and in my drunken stupor I recall her asking me if I will go with her to a wedding the next day so she didnt have to go alone. ...Im drunk...say yes.

I go home the next morning and tell my roomates about my "lucky" night...(I know...but I was young and dumb) and I prepare to go to the wedding of two people who I have never met.

I go ..its ...an okay time. BUT on the way home I notice Sherry is crying. Concerned, I ask her what is going on and she says "I just dont think this is working out..and think we should break up" BREAK UP! As far as I knew you have to have SOME sort of committment before you can BREAK UP!. If I remember right...I said something to the extent of "...UHHHH....okay."....but was thinking..."you lady...are a nutjob!"

I get home after dropping "sybil" off...walk into my apartment and my roomate says..."How was your date with 'Scary Sherry'?"....SCARY SHERRY?!!! How nuts to you have to be to earn a nickname???!!! After beating my roomate about the head for not telling me that this chick has a reputation for being crazy as a bedbug ...I get the lowdown on how everyone knows that she is the resident "HOT CRAZY CHICK".

Long story short...even though she had "broke up with me"..it took like six months to completely get rid of this lady.!

Was it Einstein who figured that (HOT)x2 + (NYMPHO)x3 = (BONKERS)x10
..or was that Oppenheimer?...I confuse the two.

SteelCityMan786
06-17-2006, 11:25 AM
Since I've obviously been in a particularly foul mood the last couple of days, and I've even caught a few innocents in the crossfire, I thought I'd start my own little rant thread to try and contain my angst, maybe exercise some catharsis, and possibly prevent any more collateral damage (Sorry can'tstop85). It may make me feel better to vent a tad...and hopefully Tony and a few others can make me laugh about how silly all this shit really is anyway...

First off, WTF is up with women nowadays? Are there any sane women between the ages of say, 28-35 that live around me (I exclude the several women on this board who seem nice and normal, but also live 100 freaking miles away from me!)? I've met, chatted with and dated a few since my last doomed-from-the-start relationship crashed and burned, and it's been a dismally depressing exercise in futility. So far, it seems like dating in 2006 is comprised of spending a lot of money to have women lie to you.

Someone put a ding in my door a couple weeks ago. My car isn't brand new, and was recently wrecked, but until last week didn't have a single dent or ding in it. As I look out my window, I have it parked all the way out in the visitors parking where no one ever parks, and I'm quite chagrined to find that some ******* with a ****ing Nissan Sentra has parked RIGHT next to my Lincoln LS. There are 5 open spots on either side of me, yet he needs to park his sub-compact shitbox 12 inches from my car? Why?

Why is gas still $3.00 a gallon? I thought we won the "War for Oil"? Even though I get a stipend for gas, demand has outstripped supply, and I'm paying out of pocket now. I need that money I'm wasting on gas to take women out on expensive dates so they can tell me a bunch of stuff that isn't true.

I'd love to go on, but I've got to head down to "Rockin' on the River" so I can buy all the drinks for a girl who'll tell me she's 25 and single with no kids and is named Lisa, but who's really 32, married with 3 kids living at home and is named Shelly.


Look out Jim Rome, suitanim from Steelersfever is right behind ya. :wantsome:

Hammer67
06-17-2006, 05:36 PM
im telling you guys. you want to find a nice girl, go where the nice girls are.

they are the ones at the off-peak hours church services. Because they are there because they are sincere and have clean motives. Dont go if you are just looking for thrills. They wont fall for your crap anyway.

BUT, if you are serious about finding a quality partner to share your life with you wont find a better place.

You have got to be kidding me...my old roommate went through this religious phase for a while (thank god he calmed down! :sofunny:) Every chick he met at church was completely psychotic. One girl from a Presby church shit on his porch and tried to poison him...to hell with that!!!

Hammer67
06-17-2006, 05:39 PM
I have one to add to this list.
Why are psychotic wackjobs always really good in bed?
I mean really, what the hell's going on?

Dude...it's like a see saw. The hotter the girl and/or better in bed she is the more psychotic. Aside from a few exceptions, this is the case. Hot girls are always treated differently and attract the more attractive ******* guys who screw them over and make them psycho at an early age. It's like a vicious cycle.

The key is to find that cute, untainted girl who has very little baggage. The kind of girl that is very cute but just falls under the radar of most players, mainly because she doesn't hang out at clubs and dress sluhhtty (changed spelling). She may not be great in bed but is willing to learn. Then, after a while, you are golden.

I am now married to one such girl and she is an angel.

By the way...awesome girls do not hang out in clubs and bars...just thought I would get that out there.

83-Steelers-43
06-17-2006, 05:53 PM
One girl from a Presby church shit on his porch and tried to poison him...to hell with that!!!

:toofunny:

Now that made my afternoon.

3 to be 4
06-17-2006, 11:29 PM
You have got to be kidding me...my old roommate went through this religious phase for a while (thank god he calmed down! :sofunny:) Every chick he met at church was completely psychotic. One girl from a Presby church shit on his porch and tried to poison him...to hell with that!!!

:bouncy: :sofunny: :bouncy: :sofunny:

that DID make me laugh i must say.

evidently she didnt exactly "Get" the Sermon on the Mount, did she?:dang:

BBC
06-18-2006, 01:32 PM
I'll jump in this rant.

Why is it that I've read at least 5 articles on how "stupid" Ben was for not wearing a helmet, but have yet to read an article criticizing all of the thugs in the NFL? Did Ben make a mistake for not wearing a helmet, and maybe even being on the bike? Sure. Should he be ridiculed on every article posted on the internet, while guys that have committed murders are sitting on their cans watching the whole situation unfold? Hell no. Today I watched NFL Total Access. Ray ****ing Lewis was giving Ben advice on how to live his life. What's next? Michael Pittman giving Ben advice on how to treat women? Randy Moss telling Ben the dangers of drugs? Tommy Maddox telling Ben how to play the position of quarterback? So much of the NFL doesn't make sense, and while the commish is trying to fix touchdown celebrations, none of these issues are being addressed. Complete bullshit if you ask me...

Suitanim
06-18-2006, 05:46 PM
Hmmmm...I had a pretty good weekend, although it was positively David Lynchian in it's surrealness...

One of the chicks I'm seeing is an ex-stripper. Dudes, after doing an internal audit, I realize that whatever weirdness results from that is damned near as much my fault as hers, if not more. Still, she's only one of many, and they all seem incredibly flawed, and I have like no baggage at all...

As for the psycho chick theory, that's ground I have run over before. I once stayed with a chick for a year, and the second half of it I was literally in fear for my life...but we also had sex like 25 times a week, so I figured I'd die happy...

Hammer67
06-18-2006, 07:09 PM
:bouncy: :sofunny: :bouncy: :sofunny:

that DID make me laugh i must say.

evidently she didnt exactly "Get" the Sermon on the Mount, did she?:dang:

And don't get me started on Catholic girls.....:busted:

3 to be 4
06-18-2006, 08:30 PM
Whats his favorite soft drink?

Slice

3 to be 4
06-18-2006, 08:31 PM
oh my. wrong thread. so sorry.

MattsMe
06-18-2006, 09:08 PM
And don't get me started on Catholic girls.....:busted:

Anyone know the song "Catholic Girls" by Frank Zappa?

Suitanim
06-18-2006, 09:09 PM
And don't get me started on Catholic girls.....:busted:

All I seem to hook up with is Catholic girls, but I don't see any pattern.

For instance, one Catholic girl I was with was an absolute freak that loved to scrog, but INSISTED that I...um (thinking of the more sensitive people who read..ah, **** 'em) only "finish" in her mouth, as if that was some kind of sacrifice for me. Conversely, I had another Catholic girl who would really only have sex by using me as a sybian and then pretty much going to sleep and ignoring any needs and wants of mine. I get the final revenge on her, though, since she was on the pill and her God will surely damn her to Hell for not only comitting adultery, but also using birth control...

(sarcasm, sensitive ones...look it up)

SteelShooter
06-18-2006, 09:21 PM
:coffee:

:stupid:

MattsMe
06-18-2006, 10:42 PM
All I seem to hook up with is Catholic girls, but I don't see any pattern.

For instance, one Catholic girl I was with was an absolute freak that loved to scrog, but INSISTED that I...um (thinking of the more sensitive people who read..ah, **** 'em) only "finish" in her mouth, as if that was some kind of sacrifice for me. Conversely, I had another Catholic girl who would really only have sex by using me as a sybian and then pretty much going to sleep and ignoring any needs and wants of mine. I get the final revenge on her, though, since she was on the pill and her God will surely damn her to Hell for not only comitting adultery, but also using birth control...

(sarcasm, sensitive ones...look it up)

:sofunny: You mentioned the sybian. :sofunny:

3 to be 4
06-18-2006, 11:58 PM
sybian. thats my favorite kind of bread.

ARKIESTEEL
06-19-2006, 10:41 AM
Let this old hillbilly throw his little fit for the day. Why do we have to be nice to every one but no one has to be nice to me. I hate this PC world I would like to hit people with a flameing basball bat that think fliping me off in traffic is ok. Or some little guy cut in front of me in any line I am a big guy and i should get watched out for instead of me watching out for ever one else.


Ok better now Lother of the Hill people has gone back to his little place to hide