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Lyn
07-14-2006, 12:33 PM
THE FIRST AFFAIR

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary, and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8.00 pm"

The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!!"


THE SECOND AFFAIR

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

"Certainly Sir, that'll be 1 cent".

"ONE CENT?" exclaims the man.

The barman replies "Yes".

So the man glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas and a fried egg?"

"Certainly, Sir" replies the barman, "but that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the man.

"4 cents" comes the reply.

"FOUR CENTS?" exclaims the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The barman replies, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replies, "The same thing I'm doing to his business!!"

BlackNGold203
07-14-2006, 12:43 PM
As a golfer...LOL...I'm writing the 1st one down!!!!

:sofunny: :sofunny: :sofunny: