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Livinginthe past
08-06-2006, 05:55 PM
Perfect Day For Her

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses

8:30 Weigh in 2 kgs less than yesterday

8:45 Breakfast in bed - freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants ; open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner.

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangiani bath oil.

10:00 Light workout at health club with sexy, funny personal trainer.

10:30 Facial, manicure, make-up application, shampoo, condition, blow wave.

12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor caf?

12:45 Catch sight of partners ex and notice she has gained 17 kgs.

1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit

3:00 Nap

4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist ; card is from a secret admirer

4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk ; says he rarely gets to work out on such a perfect body

5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe

7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, compliments received from other diners/dancers

10:00 Hot shower - alone.

10:50 Carried to bed, freshly ironed, crisp, white linen.

11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.

11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

Perfect Day For Him

6:00 Alarm

6:01 Blowjob

6:30 Massive, satisfying shit whilst reading the sports section.

7:00 Breakfast - Steak and eggs, coffee and toast - all cooked by buxom wench who bends over alot showing her growler.

7:30 Limo arrives.

7:45 Several beers en route to the airport.

9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet.

9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blowjob en route).

9:45 Play front nine (2 under par).

11:45 Lunch - steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon.

12.15 Blowjob

12:30 Play back nine (4 under par)

2.15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)

2:30 Fly to Bahamas

3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all female crew, all nude who bend over alot showing their growlers

4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234 lbs) - on light tackle.

5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over showing her growler, naturally)

6:45 Shit, shower, and shave.

7:00 Watch news - Michael Jackosn assassinated.

7:30 Dinner - lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by icecream served on a big pair of tits.

9:00 Napolean brandy and Habanos cigars in front of a wall-sized TV as you watch the big game.

9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies.

11:00 Massage and jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing beer.

11:30 Night-cap blowjob

11:45 In bed alone.

11:50 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room.

11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep.

NM

BlackNGold203
08-06-2006, 06:18 PM
:sofunny: :sofunny: :sofunny: :sofunny: :sofunny: :sofunny:

SteelCityMan786
08-06-2006, 09:40 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Patssuck456
08-07-2006, 07:48 PM
:sofunny: :sofunny: :sofunny:

Steeler in Carolina
11-12-2007, 11:00 PM
I've never laughed so hard. I love it.

BOXCAR JOEY
11-13-2007, 09:18 PM
hahaha thats how i would live out my days exactly!

TroysBadDawg
11-15-2007, 05:30 PM
Oh crap I think I pissed myself laughing. that was funny

BIGBENFASTWILLIE
11-15-2007, 09:16 PM
Thats why I had such a bad day today........This did not happen!

CT_Fan_Dan
11-15-2007, 10:25 PM
6:45 Shit, shower, and shave

I only shave every other day. The rest is pretty accurate though.