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Lyn
08-13-2006, 11:10 PM
1. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and
leaky tires.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple
of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket.

16. When your mouth is open, it closes off your ears

17. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me the heck alone.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need
it.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
moving.

20. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

MattsMe
08-13-2006, 11:24 PM
I once felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes. But then I met a man who had no feet. So I stole his shoes.

BlackNGold203
08-13-2006, 11:28 PM
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


Amen

Lyn
08-13-2006, 11:29 PM
That is definitely one of my favorites, that is why it is in bold:)