View Full Version : Rep. Bachmann Will Not Seek Re-Election

05-29-2013, 06:06 AM
Rep. Bachmann Looks Forward to "Limitless" Future, But Not in the House (http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2013/05/29/rep-bachmann-looks-forward-to-limitless-future-but-not-in-the-house/?hpt=hp_t2)

U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann will not seek reelection next year. But, said the former presidential candidate, she has no plans to fade from public view.

"Looking forward, after the completion of my term, my future is full, it is limitless, and my passions for America will remain," she announced in a video posted to her campaign website early Wednesday.

Bachmann, who served four terms representing Minnesota's 6th District, promised that there "is no future option or opportunity" that she "won't be giving serious consideration if it can help save and protect our great nation for future generations."

Bachmann, who staved off a tougher-than-expected Democratic challenge for her seat last November said her decision was not influenced by any concerns that she would not win reelection.

"I've always in the past defeated candidates who were capable, qualified and well-funded. And I have every confidence that if I ran, I would again defeat the individual who I defeated last year, who recently announced that he is once again running," Bachmann said.

Nor was her decision based on any concerns over an ongoing congressional ethics inquiry or a Federal Election Commission complaint about her former presidential campaign, she said.

"This decision was not impacted in any way by the recent inquiries into the activities of my former presidential campaign or my former presidential staff. It was clearly understood that compliance with all rules and regulations was an absolute necessity for my presidential campaign. And I have no reason to believe that that was not the case," Bachmann said.

In the eight-minute long video, Bachmann, an early supporter of the Tea Party movement, also touted her work on a variety of conservative issues, promising to "to work vehemently and robustly to fight back against what most in the other party want to do to transform our country into becoming, which would be a nation that our founders would hardly even recognize today."

"I promise you I have and I will continue to fight to protect innocent human life, traditional marriage, family values, religious liberty, and academic excellence," Bachmann said.

I wonder if this is sour grapes after Minnesota passed marriage equality, or if she (like Palin) realized that she can make a quick buck outside of politics.

05-29-2013, 06:20 AM
Show on Fox?

05-29-2013, 07:21 AM
Show on Fox?

Most likely. Until the ratings start tanking, like with the other nutty conservatives (Beck and Palin)

Now to post your favorite Bachmann videos


05-29-2013, 07:43 AM
I looked at some to post but they just made me sad that anyone ever supported her.

05-29-2013, 03:22 PM
I looked at some to post but they just made me sad that anyone ever supported her.

Now you know why she kept getting re-elected:


05-29-2013, 03:25 PM
Maybe there is a god after all!

05-29-2013, 03:26 PM
Maybe there is a god after all!


05-30-2013, 01:17 AM
WASHINGTON—Saying that it’s the Lord’s will, Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann announced on her website Wednesday that she has decided not to seek reelection in 2014 because God wants her to earn millions of dollars working for a high-powered lobbying firm.

According to Bachmann, God spoke to her directly after many days of intense prayer and ultimately told the exiting Congresswoman that there is no reason she should only make $174,000 per year when she could easily earn up to eight times that amount in the private sector.

“This was a difficult decision for me, but God said this is a highly lucrative opportunity and I need to capitalize on my fame now before my high media profile diminishes,” said Bachmann, adding that the Supreme Being commanded her to “strike while the iron’s hot” and work for a conservative lobbying group like FreedomWorks or the John Birch Society or whichever one offers her the most money. “I would love to stay on and represent Minnesota’s 6th congressional district, but who am I to ignore God’s plan, which He said could earn me over $10 million next year and over $20 million the following year if I invest wisely, which God wants me to do as well.”

“God also wants me to make a lot of money on the speaking circuit,” Bachmann added.

During the announcement, Bachmann said that in addition to working for a lobbying firm, the Lord and Savior urged her to sign a book deal with a multi-million-dollar advance, become a regular contributor to Fox News, and hire a television agent in case there is money to be made either by producing television shows or being the star of a reality program that centers around her.

Bachmann confirmed that in her numerous conversations with the Lord, she argued that she was most useful fighting for the people of Minnesota, but that God made it clear he wants the congresswoman to be very, very wealthy and to relentlessly leverage her brand for monetary profit. According to Bachmann, at one point God said to her, “If you don’t do this now you are shooting yourself in the foot. Because if you lose the upcoming election and are forced out of public service, you will be seen as a liability, and no one is going to pay good money for a liability.”

Bachmann said that as much as it hurts her to leave Congress, it would hurt her more to disappoint God.

“When it comes down to it, the Lord said in a vision, ‘Madam Congresswoman, I want you to be anti-gay, anti-immigration, and anti-gun control, but I want you to promote those values from a position where you can command seven- or eight-figure sums, preferably while living in a locale with sufficient tax breaks,’” Bachmann said toward the end of her announcement. “Jesus was with Him, too, and He wholeheartedly agreed. Then Jesus said I would be doing a great disservice to myself and the people I love if I don’t buy a new Mercedes. The silver one with the convertible top I’ve had my eye on for some time.”

Fire Arians
05-30-2013, 03:15 AM
lmao she's stupid

05-30-2013, 08:55 AM
I'd do her and Palin in a three way

05-30-2013, 09:17 AM
I'd do her and Palin in a three way

I think you get an achievement icon for that