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Vis 05-15-2013 06:33 AM

Most. Adorable. Offseason. Arrest. Ever.
In the police blotter sleeper hit of the week, we have Oklahoma quarterback Kendal Thompson getting scooped up for public intoxication, which normally wouldn’t trip our sensors too terribly, except that the police report is too entertaining to be believed. First, the cute:

According to the arresting affidavit, Norman police officer Steven Boxford and another officer were responding to a loud party complaint at 730 Stinson St. when Boxford spotted Thompson lying on a hill on his right side and snoring.

BAWWWW Y’ALL HE’S JUST NAPPIN’. College kids need naps more than kindergarteners. Intrepid reader @MrButterChicken has some thoughts:


Holly @Nastinchka
This arrest report is the sleeper hit of the week. Sleepy weepies! Krav maga! Or something!

Butter Chicken @MrButterChicken

@nastinchka How is being drunk and falling asleep on a hill a crime? If he's asleep on a hill, why are you asking him to do stuff?
And then there’s the part where the arresting officer really, really wants you to know how much time he spends practicing martial arts in front of a mirror:

“He continued not to obey commands and I grabbed his right arm and completed a spinning arm bar to take the defendant to the ground,” said Boxford in the affidavit.

Of course, this all happened four days before Thompson’s 21st birthday.

No mention of whether police personnel swept the area for evidence of Blake Bell. MAYBE THOMPSON WAS PUT THERE, PAAAOWL.

Vis 05-15-2013 06:36 AM

Re: Most. Adorable. Offseason. Arrest. Ever.
Didn't the defendant start on the ground, Officer Miyagi?

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