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GBMelBlount 08-08-2013 11:26 PM

Tom Brady's Diary
Since it's the offseason I thought it might be fun to post what some of us Steeler's fans might expect to see as journal entries in Tom Brady's diary...:


caplovestroyp43 08-09-2013 01:42 AM

Re: Tom Brady's Diary
We play the Steelers this year...better remember to take my Imodium so that I don't shit my pants when I have to face their big nasty D!!!!

Ricco Suavez 08-09-2013 07:03 AM

Re: Tom Brady's Diary
Dear Diary, today I had my heart broken. My BFF WW made disparaging remarks about my man crush BB. How could he break the bond of trust that is unique to our team. I mean really everyone knows BB is all that and more, gosh. If it was not for my Roger oredered fake marriage i would soooooo marry that man. I now fear that WW will even go further and spill the details about those secret videos BB and me made together, hehehe. Til later tata.

steelax04 08-09-2013 11:41 AM

Re: Tom Brady's Diary
Dear Diary,
BB was rubbing my butt and I... Jizzed in my pants!

Clean up on aisle 3!! ROTFL!!!

Now it's nap nappy time with my cuddlebug bear, TT.

Lady Steel 08-09-2013 12:17 PM

Re: Tom Brady's Diary
Dear Diary,

I'm gay. Please don't tell Gisele.

stb_steeler 08-09-2013 01:30 PM

Re: Tom Brady's Diary
Dear diary, i cant believe this is happening to me again...:doh:

ebsteelers 08-09-2013 01:49 PM

Re: Tom Brady's Diary
Dear Diary,

Free Hernandez


Buddha Bus 08-09-2013 04:17 PM

Re: Tom Brady's Diary

7:30 am- Woke up and had to pee. Went to the bathroom and fell into the toilet when I sat down because Gisele left the seat up again. She is just soooo inconsiderate sometimes!

7:45 am- After pulling myself out of the toilet and drying myself off, I peeked in the mirror and was mortified at how I looked! It was the start of a bad hair day, my makeup hadn't been applied yet, and I had a huge knot on my forehead where I bumped it on the headboard last night when Gisele got a little over-aggressive with the strap-on. I looked hideous!

7:46 am to 8 am- Had a good cry.

8:01 am to 9:30 am- I brushed my teeth, brushed my hair (I couldn't do ANYTHING with it!), got a bubble bath, shaved my legs and bikini area, splashed on some Summer's Eve, and put my makeup on. Good hygiene and grooming are important to staying as pretty as I am.

9:35 am to 10:30 am- Had trouble choosing my cute outfit for the day. I settled on my pink low-cut cashmere blouse, light gray spandex pants, and fuzzy Uggs boots. No thongs today as my "monthly visitor" is in town. UGH! These cramps suck!

10:35 am- Popped in a fresh Kotex.

10:40 am to 10:50 am- Went downstairs and asked Gisele why she didn't put the seat down again. She acted irritated, dismissed my concerns, and barked at me to get some food cooked. She was angry that I had gotten such a late start and wanted her breakfast. Does she even know how hard I work to look this good?

10:55 am to 11 am- Had a good cry.

11:01 am to 11:35 am- As it was now actually about brunch time, I decided to whip up some egg whites, wheat toast, fresh strawberry topped yogurt, and some lovely Mimosas to wash it all down. Gisele grumbled about "sissy food", but ate it anyway. Honestly, some mornings she's just soooo mean!

11:55 am- I left the house for my salon appointment to get my nails and hair done hoping a mani/pedi and hot new summer hairdo would cheer me up.

12:30 pm- I arrived at the salon and went in. My hairdresser immediately commented on how disheveled I looked and that I had a large bump on my forehead. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die! I excused myself to the bathroom to collect myself.

12:37 pm to 12:43 pm- Had a good cry.

12:45 pm to 2 pm- My mani/pedi felt great and looked fabulous, but my hairdresser burned my bangs with the iron! I was horrified! I looked like the love child of the Elephant Man and Fire Marshall Bill between the scorched hair and "love bump". My cramps were intensifying and I felt like Bill Belichick looks without his hoodie. This is the worst day ever!

I threatened to scratch that bitch hairdresser's eyes out, grabbed my purse, and stormed out of the salon (or better yet "butchers") without paying! She can kiss my patootie if she thinks I'm paying for that abortion! I'm totally sending Aaron over there if he gets out of jail!

2:05 pm to 2:25 pm- Had a good, loooong cry.

2:26 pm- Decided to go to the mall and shop. Maybe that will make me feel better.

2:45 pm to 3:10 pm- Arrived at the mall and was cut off in the parking lot as some asshole Steeler fan stole my parking spot! I screamed and whined at the mall security guy to throw a flag to no avail. Don't these people know who I am?!? Instead, I called several of my offensive linemen up and yelled at them over the phone to make me feel better about myself.... whatever their names are.

3:15 pm to 5:45 pm- SHOPPED TILL I DROPPED! I bought 2 new pairs of Uggs boots, some new makeup, a beautiful floral print head wrap (to cover my bump) and matching scarf set, a new sundress and bikini for this weekend's beach party, a gorgeous diamond ankle bracelet, some new perfume, and an ice pack sleeping eye mask for swelling of the eyes from crying too much. I even went to Victoria's Secret and bought a sexy new sheer nightie to wear for Gisele. Puuurrrrrrr!

5:55 pm- Left the mall for home and had a good cry in the car for no real reason.

6:40 pm- Traffic was terrible and I had to make a quick stop for some Midol. I'm late getting home to make supper. I hope Gisele doesn't smack me around again....

6:45 pm to 7 pm- Gisele was pissed about me getting home late for dinner. We squabbled a little bit about it, she hollered at me to get dinner ready, and sat back down to watch the Red Sox game. At least I won't have to waste a bunch of the extra makeup I just bought covering up black eyes again.

7:01 pm to 7:06 pm- Teared up, fought back a good cry, and surprisingly, didn't cry. The Midol is kicking in.

7:07 pm to 8 pm- I prepared a nice low-fat veggie quiche for Gisele and I. We sat down for a peaceful and delicious dinner and compared beauty tips over creme brulee for dessert. Our little tiff appears to be over. YAY!!!!

8:20 pm to 9:20 pm- Sat down to some TV and watched a couple of recorded episodes of "Project Runway" with Gisele. I really got some good ideas for some snazzy new outfits! We were giddy with fashion excitement!

9:25 pm to 9:55 pm- Snuggled on the couch with my Bundchy Bunny. The day is ending on a nice note!

10 pm- Gisele and I decided to turn in a little early *giggle giggle*. I went into the bathroom and slipped into my new nightie for her and spritzed some of my new perfume in all of the right areas, if you know what I mean. Feeling much sexier now! Grrrrrrr!

10:10 pm- I emerged from the bathroom in my new nightie to find that Gisele was in bed and "in the mood" as well. She pulled back the covers and revealed that she already had the strap-on cinched tight and ready to go. My heart fluttered with excitement!!!

10:15 pm to ? - Well.... a girl has to keep some secrets! Tee hee! Nighty-nite, Tommy!

harrison'samonster 08-09-2013 06:00 PM

Re: Tom Brady's Diary
dear diary,

We have got this butch ball boy just shaking it all over the field, Papa Billy know's what his girl likes. He hires the best eye candy to make me want to get out on the field and give it ALL. Heeheheeehehee. One word: Funky-butt-lovin.. is that? OK, gotta go, Gisele's yelling for another beer.

see ya, beautiful

Ricco Suavez 08-09-2013 07:49 PM

Re: Tom Brady's Diary
Dear Diary, Today I awoke and noticed something different. I am beginning to get some hair in my special place. Mom and BB told me this day would come but I have waited so long. I am finally becoming a man. I think today I will try and play my position as a man and not whine so much when another player comes within earshot of me. Giselle is so proud, she referred to my new addition as wisps of baby dust bunnnies around my "little smokie". I may even take my towel off in the locker room shower instead of just standing there staring at the other guys. Wish me luck, oh joy.

An addendum: Oh I am so sad I have not stopped crying since I left the locker room. The nerve of those guys, Do they not know who I am? I had a great practice, first I only squealed twice when one of the rookies came close to touching me,( and not in a good way) and BB took care of that nonsense right away and put those rooks in their place, then one of the practice guys brushed me on my follow through. OMG he touched me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually pooped a little in my uniform, just a little. Well after that I was in the mood for a shower (with the guys this time and not as a stalker) so I undressed demurely in the corner and wrapped a towel around me and made my triumphant entrance. I coughed to bring attention to me and I then dropped the towel for dramatic effect, I did not get the reaction I so wanted. I believe I even heard a few chuckles and then someone from the back said "Damn, if the water gets any colder he could disappear completely." I cried in the shower but the water mixed with my tears so it went unnoticed, at least until I started convulsing uncontrollably. What began as a great day ended so badly, I miss Wes so much.

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