Originally Posted by teegre
Dear Pittsburgh Steelers,
I am writing to inform you that I am one, of many, disappointed fans. Since the inception of the SuperBowl, the Steelers have failed to bring home the Lombardi forty-one times. Heck, the did not even make it to the SuperBowl thirty-nine times. Even more discouraging is the fact that they only made it to the conference title game an unimpressive fifteen times.
I could live with such ineptitude, if it were not for the fact that you employ players of such irrefutable mediocrity, that one must wince when saying their names:
Lynn Swann played ballet. Hines Ward was a dancer. Jack Lambert is a freakin' forest ranger. And, Tim Lester drove a bus.
Speaking of your overly-hyped running backs, what was up with Rocky Bleier's foot? A real man would NOT have gotten injured from a measly grenade. Come on, man... stop crying already.
With such cads as your ambassadors, how dare you call yourself an "organization"... let alone act as though you are a reputable one.
In closing, I am writing to inform you that I am now going to become a Browns fan. "Why?" you ask. First off, their color-scheme is only matched by that of the Miami Hurricanes. Secondly, their mascot is a dog. And, I like dogs. Last, but certainly not least, rumor has it that they win the SuperBowl on a nightly basis. Can you match any of those criteria? I didn't think so.
Jaded & Delusional
Dear Rooney family,
I am writing this letter as a long-suffering Steelers fan who has seen enough mediocrity in his lifetime. If you would just hire some half-wit coach with at least good players, this organization could have won at least 45 superbowls, and appear in at least 47, which would be much more than the abysmal 33 playoff games this organization won, and I am sure they cheated in all of them. I mean, no organization could win championships with mediocre players like Terry Bradshaw, who couldn't spell "cat" if you spotted him the "c" and the "a," Franco Harris, Mike Webster, Lynn Swann, John Stallworth, Mike Webster, Joe Greene, Dwight White, L.C. Greenwood, Jack Ham, Jack Lambert, Mel Blount, Troy Polamalu, Hines Ward, James Harrison, Jerome Bettis, and Ben Roethliesberger. Not only that, but they somehow won with Chuck Noll, Bill Cowher, and Mike Tomlin, none of whom could coach their ways out of a paper bag, leading me to the conclusion that the Steelers cheated to win their superbowls.
Why are we throwing away our valuable dollars to watch a "professional" football team? If anything, you should be paying us for going out to Heinz field every Sunday to support an awful team that likes to miss the playoffs once every three years.
I have decided that I will become a Baltimore Ravens fan. Rumor is that you guys are done, and that the Ravens will own you for years to come. In addition, they reportedly have the best quarterback in all of football, who will certainly not kill his team's cap space with the money that he will not be selfishly demanding. Also, their color scheme of purple and black is far more manly than that womanly black and gold scheme your pathetic organization uses. And no, they are certainly not the Cleveland Browns that relocated to Baltimore and changed their name and uniforms. Hope you won't miss me too much.
a disgruntled and delusional former Steelers fan.