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Old 08-14-2013, 06:21 PM   #30
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Default Re: Tom Brady's Diary

Diary Entry on August 14th,

Belichick talked to me today. We passed in the hall and he said, 'hey'. Or maybe it was, 'hmrph' and it could have been, 'huh?'. It's always hard to tell the way he mumbles his words. It doesn't matter though, I'm just glad that we're talking again!

Gronk has been riding my last nerve for too long. His frat boy humor is annoying. Does he have to chuckle every time someone says 'Spread Offense'? He also keeps calling me, 'bro' and telling me to 'relax' during film sessions. Then the other day he convinced some of the guys to give me the nickname 'Moses'. I think he meant to start the nickname, 'Methuselah' and doesn't know the difference, but still... I'd really like to lob a soft one over the middle so he would get clocked Ryan Clark style by a defender in practice, but he'd probably get hurt... and then who would I throw to? That Ramenallah guy? Maybe if I can get Gronk to piss off that Blount kid...

That Tebow guy really annoys me, too. I don't like the way he looks at me. I'm definitely going to keep an eye on him and make sure that I'm the last one to shower. And how much religious literature is he going to try and force on me? I've won three Super Bowls and am married to a Victoria Secret model---I know there's a God and he's been good to me! Whatever. At least I don't have to worry about competing with him in camp.

Speaking of odd characters, I'm don't think our punter knows English and I'm tired of him calling me 'Mr. Tom'. It seems like every phone conversation he has is in some Eastern European dialect. And why does he always ask to be paid in cash? I'm starting to think he may be a mole planted by Putin to spy on or steal from Mr. Kraft. The other day I caught him snooping around the bosses' office and confronted him and he gave me the usual, 'I'm sorry, Mr. Tom, sir! It won't happen again!' business. There has to be someone we can call to check on his visa status.

Ugh, another 'friend' request on facebook from Welker. Take the hint, Wes.

Who needs spygate when you've got Hard Knocks?
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