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Old 08-16-2013, 05:50 PM   #1
Buddha Bus
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Default KISS brings pro football back to Los Angeles with Arena Football League team

KISS brings pro football back to Los Angeles with Arena Football League team
By Jay Busbee | Shutdown Corner – 9 hours ago

These will presumably not be the team's uniforms. (Getty Images)

So here's an unusual little story: KISS, the multimedia corporate product-spewing behemoth that used to be a rock band, has gone and bought its very own professional football team. In Los Angeles, no less. Sure, it's in the Arena League, but Angelenos can't be choosers these days.

All right, let's get all the jokes out of the way at once. Deep breath:

The team, set to start play next March in Detroit Rock City Los Angeles, will run a nontraditional offense: not the pistol, not the shotgun, the Love Gun. Players will be encouraged to rock and roll all night and party ev-uh-ree day. Following every touchdown, the team will go for a deuce. They'll keep the visitors' locker room hotter than hell. Team physician? Why, Dr. Love, of course.

The team will be dubbed — no, this is not part of the joke — the L.A. KISS. And their helmet designs are going to be amazing (and, no doubt, for sale everywhere at a reasonable price). As incentive, the band will play a private concert for season-ticket holders.

"As a fast-paced, high-action band, this partnership with the AFL was an obvious fit for us," Gene Simmons said in a statement. "With Arena Football, you are much closer to the action - sitting in the front row is like putting a folding chair on the hash mark of an NFL game – and it’s one of the only sports where you can experience this level of intensity. Attending an LA KISS game in 2014 will be similar to a live KISS show, with thrilling, heart-pounding action."

(Read More:)

I wave my private parts at your aunties, you heaving lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters.
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