10-22-2005, 03:10 PM
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This Week in the AFC North
Here in the Great Zomboni's home of Naples, Florida, we supposedly have some sort of storm heading our way this weekend. All I know is that hot weather channel chick is in town and I may head down to the pier to see if she gets her shirt wet, not much else going on around here. At least until Sunday afternoon ... hopefully, Wilma stays away just long enough so that the satellite doesn't go out Sunday, because we have some interesting division matchups lined up this week:
Cincy is playing their first meaningful home game since "The Golden Girls" was a hit and the Prez's Daddy was running things. And, sadly, I think Marvin Lewis has them so geeked up they are going to play tighter than a whore in Church. Gonna be a long ride back across the bridge in the pickup truck for the pathetically striped rednecks that make their way to PBS for this one. Which reminds me, this week's Kentucky Bungle joke was sent in by Heidi in Hudson: Q: How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel? A: When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the desk says, "Go ahead."
Jeff Garcia returns to Cleveland and will probably be at the controls for the Lions. Looking forward to that. Last time we kicked a QB out of town to Detroit, Ty Detmer threw us 7 interceptions in 2001, let's see if Mini-Me can match that mark.
And the Ravens and Bears tussle in a game that might go seven or eight hours before someone scores ... here's to hoping Wilma can hold off that long.
Detroit at Cleveland 1PM
Thank God for the NFC North. The Browns are undefeated against the Black and Blew Division ... and 0-3 against real teams. Hey, if there were eight of these teams we might be ordering playoff tickets. This week is a reunion of sorts as Jeff Garcia, Kevin Johnson and Earl Holmes will be starting for the Lions and Wali Rainer will be doing what we only could of hoped he could have done in Cleveland: cover kicks. Any team that is starting Garcia, Johnson and Holmes is ... well, worse than us. So that's my analysis on that one. (Oh, and Braylon comes back and scores a 73-yard TD) BROWNS 24 LIONS 13
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati 1PM
There hasn't been this much excitement in Cincy since the last time Jerry Springer ran for mayor and promised a possum in every pot. The Bungles, however, just don't match up well against the Steelers. Pittsburgh should dominate the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball and put this one away with their running game. Carson Palmer is due for a bad a game too, but chins up, Bungle fans, he's still due for a better career than Big Gay Ben. STEELERS 23 BUNGLES 7
Baltimore at Chicago 4:15 PM
The Browns played these two teams the past couple of weeks so I got a good look at both of them. And I have concluded that neither team can score a TD unless you spot them the ball inside your 20 (Which of course, the Browns did). But with these two defenses it is going to be a battle of kickers. I'll take Stover over the rookie. RAVENS 6 BEARS 3