Originally Posted by Preacher
Personally... I think it is a comment taken WAYYYYYYYY out of context. But good luck finding the context in the american press.
Original statement. Lute turns to a colleague. "Hey, look. I found a beetle in my pocket"
To beetle. "How did you get in there, little fella?
Lt. General Douglas Lute said yesterday at a press conference that he "found a beetle in (his) pocket" and the killer insect was no doubt sent ahead by the beetle army to recover confidential dossiers from the Pentagon.
There is no telling when the beetles may attack. Said one terrified bystander "I don't know when. I don't know where. But something bad is going to happen.
This war will surely spell the end of not only American, but all civilizations.
War expert Jonas Donogue, a custodian at West Lake Junior High School, predicts that the beetles certainly will have obtained WMDs by now and "are not afraid to pull the trigger." Donogue, who reeked of whiskey and cat urine, wants to remind concerned Americans that they "should definitely be soiling themselves at this point. I already have." "I realize beetles can't actually 'pull the trigger,' because they don't have fingers," he added, "but that sure as hell didn't stop them from rigging the '97 Series. Did it?"
In unrelated news, the Florida Marlins organization and ex-manager Jim Leyland are under investigation under suspicion of breeding and providing guerrilla training for beetles throughout the entire southeastern United States.
Donogue offered advice to all Americans "who value their livelihood." "Run... for... your... lives.... Beetles fly, though, so you're probably already dead..."
"Now if you'll excuse me, some kid threw up in sixth period lunch."
Hasn't this been stirred up already in this gross military "campaign?"
I really can't see it happening. That ship has long sailed. With Americans already boiling over the decisions of this administration, I truly think re-establishing the draft may cause a total coup...