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Old 09-11-2008, 01:53 PM   #1
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Default Pirates finally getting some national press.

The Pittsburgh Pirates lost their 82nd game of the season last weekend. With that loss, the Pirates clinched their 16th consecutive losing season, tying them with the 1933-48 Philadelphia Phillies for the longest such streak in professional sports history.

It's quite an accomplishment.

Yes it is

My favorite:
Step 4. Use the No. 1 overall pick on a college pitcher your GM says he is "comfortable" projecting into "a No. 3 starter."
Not only does a pick like this excite the fan base -- "No way! A No. 3 starter! Awesome!" -- but it allows you to bypass the likes of B.J. Upton, Prince Fielder, Scott Kazmir and Cole Hamels.

Another favorite:

Step 355. Repeatedly pass over "can't miss" prospects in the draft out of fear of their price tag.
They'd just blow out their arms as Pirates anyway. Maybe this is the Pirates being more charitable than cheap. Why ruin a future star by making him a Pirate?

Too true

And finally ouch:

Step 1,992. Cause players to lose self-awareness.
Only for the Pittsburgh Pirates could a player coming off a season in which he hit .173 with five homers and 13 RBI think he could do something called "Operation Shutdown." "Meet my demands! I hit .173! I'm a star!" Unfortunately, on the Pirates of the past 16 years, Derek Bell almost was.

Well, what's deserved is deserved.
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