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Old 01-11-2006, 02:07 PM   #1
Livinginthe past
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Smile Broncos Bruschi Smack

Check this thread out - most of this stuff is hilarious.

A random sample to whet your appetite.

When Tedy Bruschi goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Tedy Bruschi and forgot to pay him back.

When Tedy Bruschi was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Tedy Bruschi!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Tedy Bruschi could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Crop circles are Tedy's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

Tedy Bruschi can count backwards from infinity.

When Tedy Bruschi jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Bruschi'd instead.

Tedy Bruschi is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Tedy Bruschi can divide by zero.

Tedy Bruschi has two speeds: walk and kill.

Tedy Bruschi is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.

Tedy Bruschi can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

You are what you eat. That is why Tedy Bruschi's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

Tedy Bruschi once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Tedy Bruschi, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Tedy Bruschi is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

When Tedy Bruschi had his first wet dream, he nearly drowned.

Tedy Bruschi played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

If you were to lock Tedy Bruschi in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Tedy replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

Tedy Bruschi doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while ****ing another.

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Tedy Bruschi punched himself in the face.

Tedy Bruschi invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Tedy Bruschi coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

They've been great for a while now, three Super Bowls' worth of great. But only this season have the New England Patriots become The Show, the must-see team of stars, pretty boys and reformed bad boys. Suddenly, the Patriots are not simply great; they're compelling, fascinating, appearing to be almighty and a touch lawless.
The Patriots didn't bother with swagger to start this NFL season; they went straight to defiant. Either you're one of them or you're about to get crushed.
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