How Business is Done in Illinois
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Governor's Mansion in Springfield. One from the capitol city of Springfield, another from the small town of Petersburg, and the third from Chicago.
They go with an official from the Governor's staff to examine the fence.
The Springfield contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. 'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: that's $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'
The Petersburg contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700: that's $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the Governor's young staff member and whispers, '$2,700'
The inexperienced idiot, says, 'Hey, you didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'
The Chicago contractor whispers back, 'that's $1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the dumb ass from Petersburg to fix the fence.'
'Done!' replies the youngster!
And that, my friends, is how business is done in Illinois!!!!