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Old 05-20-2010, 10:08 PM   #1
steelerdude15
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Default A list for all you mothers out there

What and Why you owe your MOM!!!!...................................



1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."



2. My mother taught me RELIGION .

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."



3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next

week!"



4. My mother taught me LOGIC .

" Because I said so, that's why."



5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the

store with me."



6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."



7. My mother taught me IRONY .

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."



8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."



9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"



10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."



11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."



12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"



13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."



14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

"Stop acting like your father!"



15. My mother taught me about ENVY .

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have

wonderful parents Like you do."



16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .

"Just wait until we get home."



17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it when you get home!"



18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."



19. My mother taught me ESP .

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"



20. My mother taught me HUMOR .

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."



21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."



22. My mother taught me GENETICS

"You're just like your father."



23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"



24. My mother taught me WISDOM .

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."



25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE .

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
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